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The DALLAS Tote Board:
The tote board is designed to keep track of stupid things that repeatedly happen on DALLAS. It's designed to be a lot of fun for DALLAS lovers. This is always under construction and will be modified heavily in the coming days as I look back over the summary pages. If you have a category that we should 'tote', e-mail us.
Many thanks to all the AHNs who helped out, especially Joe S, Jason, and Dave.
Quick Links to the pages: The Guys | The Gals | Miscellaneous | Around the House
New categories are marked in green below. Updated categories are in blue.
- number of times JR is hit
by someone
- number of times JR does the hitting
- number of times JR ends up in the pool
[without a bathing suit]
- number of times JR is in 'the fight of his
life'
- number of times someone points a gun at JR
- number of times we see JR on the Southfork balcony
- number of people seriously injured by people targeting JR
- number of times JR lusts after sisters-in-law
- number of secretaries for JR
- number of JR's secretaries who do NOT leave Ewing Oil on bad terms at one point or other
- number of JR's secretaries that he does NOT sleep with
- number of times JR goes to Cliff's office
- number of women JR pledges to leave Sue Ellen for
- number of confirmed times JR and Sue Ellen have made love
- number of confirmed times JR and Mandy have made love
- number of times there is
significant evidence that JR and someone else have made love
- JR's season-by-season
scheme meter
- JR's "Is that a
fact?" meter
- number of times Bobby
parks egregiously illegally
- number of times Bobby dials more or less
than seven digits when phoning
- number of times Bobby is
involved in rescuing a kidnapped person
- number of times Bobby channels the spirit of Bruce Lee
- number of times Bobby is
gimpy, insensitive, or both
- number of times Bobby threatens to tear someone apart [but doesn't]
- number of confirmed
sleeping partners for Bobby
- number of times Bobby is involved in a
multi-combatant fight
- number of times Bobby impersonates a policeman
- number of times Bobby goes on a picnic with Pam
- number of times Bobby goes on a picnic with someone else
- number of women who throw themselves at
an oblivious Bobby
- number of women who throw themselves at Bobby but
get immediate smackdowns
- number of times Cliff is
arrested
- number of times Cliff's
career and/or company jobs to a Ewing
- number of times Cliff forgets he's a lawyer
- number of times Cliff
barges into Ewing Oil uninvited
-
number of confirmed liaisons for Cliff
- number of times Cliff is at Southfork
- number of times Cliff eats Chinese food
- number of college friends who show up to help Cliff
- number of times Cliff is hit by someone
Ray
- number of times Ray plays
Barbara DeAngelis [the love doctor]
- number of mainline
female characters that Ray sleeps and doesn't sleep with while he is on the show
- number of episodes in which Ray is seen shirtless
- number of blondes who
rebuff Jack Ewing
- number of episodes
in which we see Jack wearing briefs or shorts
- the Jack Ewing stupid laugh meter
- number of times Clayton sings
- number of women for whom Clayton is a father figure
- number of brides given away by Clayton
- number of things the Phantom of Ewing Oil seems to be responsible for
- number
of men that Sue Ellen sleeps with, then tells "I'm not ready for a commitment"
- number of times Sue Ellen falls off the wagon
- number of times Sue Ellen jobs to a car
- number of times Sue Ellen throws something
at JR
- number of times a private investigator in a Sue Ellen
storyline is hopelessly incompetent
- number of times Sue
Ellen defends JR to someone
- number of confirmed liaisons for Sue Ellen
- number of times Sue Ellen knowingly drinks while pregnant
- Sue Ellen's denial meter
- Sue Ellen's unable to
commit meter
- Sue Ellen's "JR has
really changed" meter
- number of times Sue Ellen is able to avoid being sexually compromised
- number of times Pam wears that foldover dress
- number of times Pam stupidly blurts out a secret
- number of weddings for Pam
- number of episodes in which Pam is married
to or estranged from Bobby
- number of clairvoyant facts predicted by Pam's dream
- number of extramarital affairs for Pam
- number of times Pam tells
Cliff "You're my brother and I love you but..."
- number of times Pam is a maid of honor
- number of
times Pam is referred to as "strong" or "a fighter"
- number of times Pam smacks someone
- number of times Ellie is vacationing and misses the
cliffhanger moment
- number of plastic surgeries for Ellie
- number of unlikely boyfriends for Ellie
- number of times we
see Ellie riding a bike
- number of times we see Ellie tending her garden
- number of times Ellie
drives somewhere
- number of times Ellie visits her twin grandchildren in Knots Landing
- number of times someone says, "Damn it, Ellie!"
- number of times Ellie goes into a "Stop it!" tirade
- number of times Ellie is at Ewing Oil
- Ellie's bad advice meter
- number of times Ellie plays the piano
- number of times
the family conspires to keep something from Ellie
- number
of plastic surgeries for Jenna
- number of episodes in which we see Jenna, married to Bobby
- number of episodes in which
we see Jenna, married to Naldo
- number of episodes during which Jenna is the owner of her boutique
- number of episodes in which we see Jenna actually working at her boutique
- number of guys that Charlie actively
recruits as a partner for Jenna
- number of major plot inconsistencies introduced by Jenna
- number of confirmed
liaisons for Jenna
- number of times
Lucy and Mitch fight and then make up
- number of meaningful relationships for Lucy
- number of stupid
relationships for Lucy
- number of times Lucy leaves a man's place in tears
- number of times Donna's success emasculates Ray
- number of
marriages for Donna
- number of times
Donna is at Southfork for no reason
- number of men April hits on
during her first two weeks on the show
- number of times we see April working at her restaurant
- number of times we see April at Southfork
- number of times someone other than Bobby dials the wrong
number of digits when phoning
- number of times a Ewing Oil or JRE computer
has a mind of its own
- number of times the media seems too
interested in Ewing affairs
- number of times someone has to be sedated
- number of people who are believed to be
dead but return
- number of times someone manages to get into someone's private room
- number of gratuitous pool scenes
- number of times Jackie displays big-time incompetence
- number of shows that use a 'dream' angle after DALLAS
- number of times we see some one put on a seat belt
- number of Dallas actresses who posed for Playboy
- number of Dallas actresses who have done nude scenes in other works
- number of Dallas actors who have done nude scenes in other works
- number of things that explode on screen
- number of serious vehicular accidents
- number of links between Dallas and South Park
- number of times Christopher mentions his adoption
- number of times Jeremy Wendell laughs audibly
- number of confirmed mental hospital visits
- number of confirmed non-psychiatric hospital
visits
- number of times Christopher
suffers parental tragedy
- number of times we see characters eating fast food
- the Nicholas Pearce gaudy sweater meter
- Cally's "reckon" meter
- the Carter McKay instant tantrum meter
- the abandoned Lucas meter
- number of people who are mistakenly believed to be Jock Ewing
- number of funerals seen on-screen
- number of characters who buy children [or try to]
- number of times we see
characters smoking on screen
- number of times a door is
broken down
- number of times a Barnes or Ewing employee is a turnstile
- number of Dallas personalities who have done TV endorsements
- number of times Punk Anderson is mentioned before he is seen
- number of times Afton sings
- number of
episodes in which Andy Bradley speaks
- number of characters who appeared on both Dallas
and Knots Landing
- number of characters who
have appeared in each season of Dallas
- number of actors/actresses who left the show and returned
- number of
actors/actresses for whom art imitated life
- number of children of
mainline actors/actresses who appeared on the show
- number of
characters who appear in both the first and second-last episodes
- number of Emmy nominations
and wins for Dallas
- number of best actor/best actress nominations and wins for Dallas
- number of episodes in which Gary and Valene Ewing appear on Dallas
- number of
"annual" Ewing barbecues during the 13-year series run
- number of "annual" Ewing rodeos
during the 13-year series run and number won by Dusty
Farlow
- number of "annual" Oil Baron's
Balls during the 13-year series run
- number of Oil
Baron's Balls attended by Jock Ewing
- number of Oil Baron's Balls in which the Jock Ewing memorial scholarship is presented
- number of Oil Baron's Balls in which the Willard Barnes memorial scholarship is
presented
- number of times the Oil Man of the Year is announced
- number of premises that are
drastically altered due to cast changes and plot twists
- number of times the Ewings
actually get personal security
- number of times the Ewings mention personal security that doesn't exist
- number of people,
unrelated by blood to Jock and Ellie Ewing, who control part of Ewing Oil at some point
- number of times the cartel
members suffer financially because of a Ewing
- number of times the cartel members swear they'll never do business with Ewing Oil [but
do anyway]
- number of times the cartel members swear they'll never do business with Cliff [but do
anyway]
- number of businesses/enterprises
that mysteriously disappear at the hands of the Ewing women
- number of times Franklin
Horner is enthusiastic about giving Ewing Oil a loan
- number of times Ewing Oil has trouble with the banks
- number of times Ewing Oil
visitors actually wait in the outer office
- number of Ewing
women who, despite knowing nothing about the oil business, control a significant
portion of a company
The
Bedroom
- number of
pregnancies conceived during the series run
- number of times a pregnant woman has an accident
- number of women who slept
with both JR and Cliff
- number of times Marilee
Stone is egregiously horny
- number of Ewing brides who
slept with more than one of Jock's sons
- number of couples who divorce and remarry
- number of couples who divorce
- number of JR's partners in
crime who hit on Bobby
- number of times
someone is kidnapped or knowingly held against their will
- number of episodes in which
we see men perpetrate violence
against women [or attempt to]
- number of murder trials during the series
run
- number of characters who were shot by
a jealous sister-in-law in a cliffhanger
- number of times the jealous
sister-in-law dies as part of the next season's cliffhanger
- number of weddings
that take place at Southfork during the series run
- minimum number of bedrooms at Southfork
before the 1983 fire [excluding servants]
- minimum number of bedrooms at Southfork
after the 1983 fire [excluding servants]
- number of times we see family members working out in the
Southfork exercise room
- number of times the Ewings should seriously consider personal trainers