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NitPicks [90-91 Season]

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Episode 335: April in Paris

Bonehead dialogue of the day: [courtesy of Alett]

- Bobby, when he can't find April: "My wife was in here looking at some handbags."
(Oh, THAT wife. All they sell in there are handbags. Geez, at least give a physical description.)

Angelica Award: JR in a straight-jacket. Nominated by Jason.

- Not a nit, just an observation: Cally's been reading a lot of USA Today lately.

- Cally has another copy of the release papers. Why doesn't she just go to the asylum herself if she's so upset about JR's imprisonment, instead of jawing with James about it?

- Look at the big time tan on Jackie! It can't be more than a day or two in 'Dallas' time since we last saw her. It's amazing what can happen, especially when a new season starts.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- Maybe it was just the TV I watched it on, but the "also starring" credits at the beginning were decidedly orange. Speaking of credits, that shot of Barbara (and where was she, btw?) Stock is NOT very flattering.

- I couldn't believe how young Susan Lucci looked during her first scenes. She looked pretty attractive. That said, it seemed as though she aged quite a bit as the show progressed. Also, during that last scene with Bobby, it looked as though she was about 4 feet tall.

- J.R. doesn't know Harve Smithfield's phone number?? I seem to recall him dialing the number from memory many a time. Must be the drugs.

- How unlikely is it that a staff member at the nut house would leave a patient (J.R.) alone in his office (with a phone)? Give me a freaking break.

- Bobby did a great job of conveying that he was going for a drink with his hand signals. Unfortunately, he doesn't point to WHERE he's going for that drink. There's got to be a million places to get a drink in Paris.

AHN Jason's corner:

- I liked the sub-title:  Paris, France.  Gee thanks for clarifying this. As opposed to Paris, New Hampshire. Hmm, maybe a bad line of the day.

- Ok, on to the curse of the new season hair-do's.   (Hard to do with only 2 Mainline females.  We lost 3 last season and Jessica.) April's mane has grown several inches in the few days since her wedding.  Her pot belly is much more obvious too.   Why did she wear such tight looking pants in her last scene if she is so obviously pregnant?  I almost bought her as non-pregnant in the long coat outfit.

- Sly's hair is much darker. Callie looks OK.

- OK, where are Kendall and Phyllis during the absence of JR  and Bobby?   Usually when Bobby is gone, Phyllis is around manning the office.

- OK, these unlocked doors at the sanitarium are starting to get old.   So now, the doctor leaves JR ALONE in his UNLOCKED office full of PRIVATE files and a PHONE that does NOT need an ACCESS CODE.  Did anyone buy
this?

- Isn't Jordan married? I thought he mentioned this to Ellie and Clayton last season yet April, Bobby and Jordan himself all seem to consider him as a possible date for Susan Lucci. He was definitely married to Evelyn. Don't know what happened to her...

- More sanitarium nonsense.   Now they transfer non-sexual (I assume) Jessica to an all women institute but sex-crazed Anita is left in a co-ed one.  How is this hospital able to keep it's accreditation?   This is almost as bad as Wilshire-Memorial on Melrose Place.

- Anita not only gets in JR's room but she is allowed KNITTING NEEDLES!  Guess your guess last year about "playing with sharp objects" as a game at this place was right on the money.

AHN Alett's corner:

- Somewhere between Dallas and Paris April lost her "I'm wearing a white bra in public" outfit. This new one is more demure, but they could have done a better job hiding her pregnancy.  Ditto for that blue outfit which makes her look about 5 months gone.

- I thought these sanitarium "socials" were a big deal, but JR has only been there 5 days, and they are already having a second one.

- Since JR already has Jessica's signature, I don't see why he's so disturbed that she's been transferred. I think he may need her to corroborate his story.

- I just thought it was funny that James blew his great dramatic exit from Cally by bumping into the door jamb.

- April and Bobby just finish the "let's never spend a moment apart" scene on the boat, and the first chance Bobby gets, he leaves her to have coffee with Jordan.

- Considering how important OPEC was to them not so long ago, shouldn't Bobby be aware of this big conference?

- James should have at least asked Sly how she was feeling.

AHN Mike's corner:

- As Bobby and April's limo approaches the hotel a French girl crosses the street right in front it and never even looks. She must have read the script and knew she wouldn't get hit.

- What happened to the Ewing answering service? They answer the phones at night. They must have read the script too and knew JR had to get a "no answer". Also, if JR hadn't been so spoiled and always had Sly dial all his phone calls, he wouldn't have lost valuable time getting Harv's number from directory assistance and might already be out of the asylum. I think he must have called during the day, when everyone was out of the office. The answering service hadn't kicked in - although one of the secretaries ought to have called and alerted them.

- Jordan Lee didn't look or sound healthy. Was Don Starr ill at the time? He looked very frail. You have to wonder about Jordan though. What old coot goes on a romantic Seine river dinner cruise by himself? Maybe he's into accordion music. And what a small town Paris is! Bobby runs into Jordan twice in less than 18 hours!

- April wears the same clothes on the cruise that she wore when she got off the plane. No wonder she needs to do some serious shopping.

- Bobby apparently has several beers with Jordan and then goes back to the hotel and starts drinking scotch with Sheila. He won't be much good to April on this particular night of their honeymoon even if he does find her.

- Re Susan Lucci: I guess we can all see for ourselves why it took her seventeen years before she finally won a daytime Emmy. Oh, come on. With this script, Charlton Heston would have trouble sounding believable.

- James is once again dipping into the Nicholas Pearce sweater endowment.

- Was that supposed to be Duke Carlisle who runs into James at the bar? The script sure seemed to indicate it was, but it's a different actor. Hopefully he also has a different (and better-looking) actress playing his daughter this time around. I don't believe we see Melinda any more. Yay!

AHN Val's corner:

- James to Cally: "What are you turning into some kind of bleeding heart?" No, James, she's a BUTTER heart. Get it right next time.

- First episode of a new season. NONE of the returning mainline cast got new opening credit pics. That part of the budget must have been sooooo low that they blew it all just by adding Barbara Stock.

- On the moving sidewalk at the Paris airport, Bobby and April are standing on the left side, making all the walkers have to move around them. Airport etiquette dictates that on while on the moving sidewalk, riders stand on the right side so that walkers may pass easily. Might be different in Europe.

- That crystal shop that April wants to go to is "just around the corner" from the hotel. So WHY are they taking the car???? Walk, you lazy people!!!

- What are the inmates using for money? They looked like matchsticks! How is it that the staff allows that? The state of Texas really should invest in a set of poker chips for those people. It would save them A LOT of money in the long run (fire damage clean-up).


Episode 336: Charades

Bonehead dialogue of the day: None.

Angelica Award: Sheila's wacky black hat/veil. Nominated by Val and Mike.

- Near the beginning of this episode, JR sneaks out of his room late at night to the pharmacy and gets the phone. He tries to get an outside line. The switchboard operator asks him for a code, which JR is unable to supply. If you suddenly need a code, how come JR didn't need one when he tried to reach Southfork from the phone in the psychiatrist's office in the previous episode? I suppose it could have something to do with the time of day or perhaps location, but phone networks weren't that sophisticated in 1990 when this episode was aired.

From Beth Daly: Why the deuce couldn't Bobby phone JR himself? What was the big hurry that he told Jordan to get JR on the line, then he hurried across the street to go...nowhere? You're right, Beth. And as others have pointed out, aren't Ray Krebbs and family also nearby in Switzerland?

AHN Jason's corner:

- Bobby's passport looks like it says he was born in 1950.  However, his tombstone in the dream says 1949.  I suppose it is OK, since the dream didn't happen. Yes, but it was PAM's dream, so she should have known. Pathetic.

- Nice pic of Sheila in April's passport. Very nice. I'd swear it's a Canadian passport too - looks just like mine.

- Even in heels, Susan Lucci head barely reaches Bobby's shoulders.  WOW, she is short. But good things come in small packages. Hurt me, baby! [I've always liked Susan.]

- It looks like Morrissey has a wallet-like bulge in his back pants' pocket.  Are patients supposed to have wallets in the hospital? Didn't notice. But the answer to your question is NO.

- The artist remembers April and is able to recreate her picture by sight. Is that realistic? I guess French women are really overrated.

- This whole "loving husband' cover is soooo lame.  I mean what is Sheila thinking?  Why does she think that Bobby would want to have sex with her while his wife is being held captive?  And she acts all hurt because he basically says that she is not not like his wife?  Did she really expect a compliment? I don't know what she expects. This was really weird, though...kind of like Pam wanting to adopt Jenna's baby. Just boneheaded.

- By the way, I kinda got a kick when Bobby describes his wife as beautiful, loving, kind, and generous.  Let's not go overboard here.  OK, she looks pretty and at times is loving (In an immature way) but she is hardly Mother Theresa. Well...I would say that April is a kind person. She didn't USED to be, but that was before you-know-who left.

AHN Val's corner:

- Duke Carlisle keeps all of his money--$100,000+--in a brown paper grocery bag. My, how stupid!!! The production budget must really be in the toilet if they can't even afford a $50 attaché case. On second thought, they probably blew a tidy sum on Susan Poochie...I mean Lucci's wardrobe. (I do NOT like that woman). Oh, come on, now! What's wrong with Susan? I've always liked her.

- Duke also uses a sandwich holder--the kind with plastic fringe on one end--as a toothpick. Cheee-sey.

- When Bobby smacked down Hillary (I cheered), he agreed to sleep with her if it would get April back. But I wonder...would April even want him back if Bobby actually had to follow through with that. Not to get too personal, but what would you do? I'd say April would understand...sort of.

AHN Mike's corner:

- Real nice of TNN to cut the scene where Morrissey takes the stock proxies signed by Jessica and makes paper dolls out of them. If it hadn't been in today's last episode recap, we never would have known about it. This makes JR's plight really pitiable. That was ridiculous on their part. Didn't see it, but I'm sure they could have cut something else.

- Speaking of poker games, what a high class game James is in. The dealer wears a tux and the players are all in suits or sport coats and there doesn't seem to be much in the way of drinking either (no drinks at the beginning and only two are drinking at the end). Well, if you were betting hundreds of thousands, I don't think you'd want to drink too much either.

- OK, we get it Dallas directors - accordion music means we're in Paris. Please, please stop!

- Didn't take Bobby long to start acting like he was in Paris, Texas. As soon as April is gone, out come the jeans and work shirts. No wonder the French call us the ugly Americans. Yes, I'd say that moniker is well deserved.

- Why doesn't Bobby immediately get the U.S police, FBI or CIA to contact the Paris police with April's true identity when the latter doubt his story? He waits over a day or more and then stupidly goes to Jordan Lee instead. He wanted to go to the embassy but stupidly did not. I don't quite understand this either. Perhaps the FBI or CIA are out of his reach, but certainly the American embassy could do something. And they would bend over backwards once he said "Look pal, I'm Bobby Ewing."

- More concerning knitting needles: Not only does Anita have them but so does JR's knitting friend. With murdering loonies like Morrissey running around free, how can they allow that guy anything sharp to knit with?

- Lipstick discontinuity: How come Liz wears non-smear lipstick to kiss Cliff but Sheila leaves a mess all over Bobby's face? I guess Sheila read the script and knew she would have to publically embarrass Bobby. Liz doesn't have to embarrass Cliff, he does it expertly all by himself - in public or private.

- And speaking of kissing Bobby, has any woman under 60 who met Bobby ever not tried to get him in bed? Was Amanda, Jock's first wife, under 60? She might be the only one.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- When did Cliff become such a square? I first noticed this with Michelle, when we (the viewers) found out that he never slept with her. Now, he's giving Liz Adams this whole "we'll know when the time is right". That's all well and good for the real world, but come on....this is DALLAS. Shape up, Mr. Barnes. As Cartman said today, "Super weak."

AHN Alett's corner:

- Since this is Morrisey's first night out of the hole, I would expect him to head to Anita's room. Or maybe he was just bragging....

- This rebellious kid thing James does is getting so old.  Oooh, that tattoo will really bother JR.

- Now JR is referred to as a boa constrictor.  Maybe there should be a tote on how many times he's referred to as a snake.  And a possible tote on how many times someone calls someone else a bastard. I only have 11 Megabytes of space! :)

AHN Pam's corner:

- In the beginning credits it looked as if Patrick Duffy's name was a much lighter shade of yellow than everyone else's. There have been some very weird things going on with the credits lately.

-  In the opening shot of Paris it looks to be sunset. Yet when they cut and go to the next scene of Sheila and Bobby in the hotel room it is definitely daylight, as in mid afternoon daylight. It could have cycled to the next day. Hard to be sure. But you're right that they should be a little more judicious with the establishing shots.

- Why is the switchboard in the sanitarium open in the middle of the night?  Also, why is there a light on at the desk with the phone and there is no attendant?  Did the attendant and the switchboard operator read the script and know that J.R. was going to try to make a phone call? Obviously they did. Completely ridiculous. But certainly the phone lines have to be open because there could be a medical emergency..

- These guys are planning to bet on the fight between Morrisey and J.R.?  With what?   Match sticks? Or jelly beans. Or perhaps knitting needles - there seem to be enough circulating around.

- When Bobby calls Jordan Lee from the party is it my imagination or does he just call the operator and ask for Jordan Lee?  I'm under the impression that Jordan is just visiting Paris and doesn't live there. If this is the case, how would an operator know how to reach him? Does this party happen to be in the same hotel in which Jordan is staying? It's possible. That didn't strike me at first, but you're absolutely right.

-  Is it me or when Bobby is talking to the 'cop' with Jordan Lee is there some really bad sound dubbing?  He also refers to his home in Dallas, Texas...DUH!   Actually, I thought Southfork was in BRADDOCK, Texas, but I guess maybe we can let this slide since the 'cop' would be clueless as to where Braddock is.  At the end of this conversation Bobby says "Merci" to the 'cop'.  This is fine, but Bobby, please, try to work on your French accent just a little bit, I mean I know he's a Texan (as Sheila is so quick to remind all of us in case we've forgotten) but does he have to sound so much like one?

- When Sheila presents her 'passport' to the 'officer' she seems to have a very glamourous and familiar photo.  Who's passport photo is that glamourous? I have a passport and mine sure isn't.  To make matters worse this is a publicity photo Susan Lucci took about 10-15 years ago during the Erica's modeling days on "All My Children". This is a very famous photo of Susan Lucci! I can't believe that they couldn't have a photo taken of her for this purpose! She's supposed to be a HOUSEWIFE, not a MODEL. This is pathetic!

- James gets a tattoo?  I didn't think he had any money, isn't that what he just told Cally not five minutes ago??  She gave him cash for a room - I can't believe he was stupid enough to spend it on that rather than something useless like a room or perhaps FOOD. Another point about this, I'm no expert on tattoos, but I've seen  a few fresh ones and they use NEEDLES so there is BLOOD and SCABBING.  This tattoo looks like it's been there awhile. They could've at least made it look a little messy and have the guy wipe it off with a towel and give him some instructions on keeping it clean or something. This is laughable!

- How exactly did the guy get in to Liz's hotel room??  Was Ray Krebbs lurking in the hallway to fool the maid in to thinking he forgot his keys?  Or maybe the Phantom let him in. Maybe. But as we'll find out later, there may be a good explanation.

- Where did all of these guys get the wires to hook up all of that equipment?  Again I am amazed at how lax they are with the rules in this sanitarium.  They have wires, the one guy is getting new knitting needles and Morissey has a POCKET KNIFE!  This is so unrealistic, you would think they would have taken it AND searched his room when they sent him to solitary! This is ridiculous! Again, I can't believe I missed this.


Episode 337: One Last Kiss

Bonehead dialogue of the day: None.

Angelica Award: Sheila's black leather yelling-at-Bobby outfit. As long as we have her, who needs Michelle?

AHN Jason's corner:

- The french cop's accent at the beginning of the show sounded really fake. That whole conversation sounded like it was dubbed.

- Sheila visits April and gives her some new clothes and things.  It appears that this is the first time the two have seen each other since April has been kidnapped.   Presumably this is the first time April has been given any of her things from the hotel to wear also.  Yet the outfit she wore in 336 was different from the one she wore in 335 when she was kidnapped.  In today's episode (337),. she is wearing the 335 outfit again.  The only explanation I have is that when she was seen in 336, she was wearing something that she had in one of the bags when she was kidnapped. Yes, I noticed that too. Maybe they kept giving her different shawls or something.

- I suspect a TNN cut, but when exactly did Callie get the copy of the release papers that she has?  JR sure didn't give them to her and I thought Sly had the only copy, which James stole and then ripped up.  Did he make a copy before he went to visit JR?   If he wanted to keep him there, why?  And would a xerox really hold up as valid? I was confused by this too, so I did some retrograde analysis. JR gave a copy to Walter Berman, of course, which James and Cally managed to get away from him. He also left a copy in the envelope which he gave to Sly, just in case. James ripped one copy up, but Cally kept the other. An obvious plot contrivance so that JR could eventually get out.

- Would Callie's property settlement hold up in court if she ever tried to use it?   JR was in a nut house when he signed it. Well, if Jessica's signature would have worked [and apparently JR thinks it would] then why wouldn't his?

- It appears that JR leaves the nut house within a day or so from the time that Callie visits him.  So how did he get those presents?  He visits the doctor and the box is already there.  How did he order them if he is just being released at that very moment?  I don't think that he was given phone privileges before that point. Maybe Cally was nice enough to take his shopping list. Or perhaps he was given phone privileges at some point, once his release was official.

- A 24K gold harmonica in a nut house.  That will last all of like 2 minutes before someone swipes it.  Remember, "under lock and key" is a very loose term there. Donia can guard it with his knitting needles.

- I liked it how JR threatens Tim to do his job right, the offers him a new one. It was funny. I like Tim. He'd be a good Ratagan-type.

- Anyone notice how JR wears black in his last scene where he cans Sly? A sort of symbol that the old JR is back. Yeah...but he's just a wimpy facsimile.

- I don't know how to take this, but why does JR have Sly take down a list of things to do, then can her?  Does he really expect her to do all those things knowing that she is fired? I would have expected him to wait until she did them first. Kind of like the way April's maitre d' had to work out the night when he was fired. Must be an honor thing.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- Hey, where did this Mark come from? TNN edit I presume. Don't they have to foresight to realize that things they cut might affect how well the viewers understand the episode? I guess not.

- Could this Sanitarium thing be any MORE like Cuckoo's Nest? Evil nurse (or doctor), positive changes in the inmates, and now the therapy. I'm just surprised that Nurse Ratched...I mean Dr. Wyckoff didn't lobotomize J.R.

- INconsistency alert! INconsistency alert!! Bobby never (ever) loses a fight (no matter how many guys he's taking on). Not true. Ray can flatten him with one punch. It's been proven.

- Cally "I can tell when you're lying" Harper. Since when, Cally? Since when?? Since she got that frilly jacket, I guess. I'm almost positive this must have come from April's closet.

AHN Alett's corner:

- There's nothing like a good face slap.  Those sound effects guys have really pumped up the volume.  Yesterday's Sheila to Bobby was good, but I know you men especially enjoyed the April to Sheila smack. One that hard should have left a red hand print for sure. It should have. I liked it. A catfight would have been awesome right there, but I guess Sheree wasn't up for it - it appears she just had her baby.

- It seems to me that Team Ewing is just too young to be roaming around Paris on their own like that. It's okay. Mark is Bobby's son. [Really. Mark Harris is played by Padraic Duffy]

- I know several will point this out, but we all know Cally prefers USA Today. How convenient that she's suddenly picking up the Dallas paper.  Just a small nit, but how many Slys are there at Ewing Oil?  She didn't really have to put in Lovegren - could have saved a little cash there.  Sly is such a good secretary she even wears *comma* earrings at the sanitarium.  She should, however, have said, *May* I speak *with* the advertising editor. Finally, it's a big mistake to fire her.  She's JR biggest ally. True on all counts.

AHN Pamela's corner:

- Speaking of Sheila, she keeps telling Bobby that they need to appear happy and affectionate in public because they 'just got married' and they are 'on their honeymoon'.   Well, wouldn't this be more believable if Sheila were wearing say, a WEDDING RING??   Bobby is wearing one, but Sheila is not, I checked her finger twice.  She could've either taken April's, or if she was feeling generous enough to leave her with it, she could've bought one, eeven a fake, at least her story would look more realistic. Excellent. I'm amazed Mike didn't point this out. He's sharp with the rings.

- That amazing sense of timing and convenience works for Bobby even in Paris!  Of all the phone booths in Paris, 'Team Ewing' just happens to ride by the one Bobby is using...isn't that LUCKY!  I think the rest of the 'team' are a bunch of mutes, the leader is the only one who ever speaks!  I realize this is to give a major push to Patrick Duffy's real life son, but still, this is a bit of a stretch. True. I bet those other guys are his buddies who think it's "cool" to be on the show.

- Funny, when I speak to someone through a car window, it can be difficult to hear each other, yet Bobby and April sound as if they're speaking with the windows rolled down.

-  Bobby sure has the balance of a cat!  I was impressed with his little balancing act. He manages to balance himself with one foot on the gate, the other on the ledge, take off his jacket AND break the window all without even the slightest bit of effort.  What a guy! He's the man all right. Now if only he had got Ray to watch his back.

- Good thing someone was nice enough to have left those keys in the door so Bobby could find April so quickly!  Sheila better look for some more competent help next time. Agreed. That was totally weak.

- OK, I'm really getting tired of 'we're out of the office so NOTHING will go on'.  I can't believe that there is so little to do that Phyllis (who I believe has lightened her hair AND has added some red highlights(has time to sit around and read the paper, good thing or Sly never would've come up with the idea to put that ridiculous ad in the paper.   PHEW!! Well, given the management [snicker] of the company, I'm not terribly surprised. None of the executives have been at the office for at least a good week or so.

- When Sly is talking to Cally and Cally asks her what kind of drugs J.R. is on, Sly seems to know exactly which drug it is (I can't remember the name right now).  I don't remember J.R. telling her, and there are many different drugs used to treat mental
illness, so how would she know?  It turns out she's right too.  When J.R. is leaving the sanitarium the doc offers hin coffee and also tells him that THAT particular drug that Sly mentioned is almost out of his system!  Did she get this information at the front desk, I mean look how lax the rules are about little things such as needles, wires, knives, etc. The drug is Thorazine, and it's one of the most popular antipsychotics - or at least it was in the early nineties. Nowadays there are better drugs. You're right that Sly seems a bit too pharmaceutical here.

- Cally must have had a premonition of some sort, she skipped over the front page of the newspaper and went directly to Sly's ad, which looked like it was on page 2!! How unreal is this?  There have to be more interesting things to report on rather than a full page ad looking for Cally.  If not, they are really hurting for news since all of the Ewings have left Dallas! Page 3, actually. But good point.

- I think Cally must have decided to go to the hairdresser before she bailed J.R. out.   Her hair not only looks flatter, which could be explained by the wind, but it also looks lighter too. I noticed that. I thought it was the lighting.

- I think J.R.'s treatment of Sly at the end was classic J.R..  He gives her a bunch of orders and then FIRES her!  CLASSIC!!  Though, I do have one problem with it. He fires her in front of Phyllis and Jackie.  OK, it's his company, he can do what he wants, but it's very unprofessional.  She may have screwed up by mentioning the letter to James in the first place, but after all she's done for him over the years, you'd think he would at least have the decency to kick her to the curb in private. Interesting spin on it. I'm sure you're right - that would have been better. I think this might have been an attempt to make him look like the old callous JR, but it doesn't work any more. It just looks mean.

AHN Mike's corner:

- Sly looks awful in this episode and does a lot of bugged-out eye acting. My take is she definitely deserved some disciplinary action after her incredibly dumb move in telling James about the envelope. She's worked for JR long enough to know better. I can't really fault JR for firing her but given her years of service and loyalty maybe a long suspension without pay would have been fairer.

- Callie has apparently forgotten the history of April's condo. She leaves the door unlocked after opening it to get the paper. Frankly, I was surprised she wasn't overhwelmed within minutes by Tommy McKay's ghost and a fleet of mafiosi soldiers.

- I was impressed that Patrick Duffy did his own climbing stunt with the fence and then perching on a ledge to break the glass. He's a wild man. I think the budget didn't allow for a stunt double.

- As to the AHN who mentioned Bobby's former invincibility in fights and your note that Ray is Bobby's kryptonite: Bobby is only invincible in bar room brawls. Had he been able to maneuver April's captors to a little bistro for drinks and then started fighting, she'd be with him now. Good point.

- Another indication JR has gone soft: the old JR would have bought that asylum and fired everyone who abused him, while simultaneously firing a malpractice suit against the head doctor. Correct. Absolutely correct.


Episode 338: Terminus

Bonehead dialogue of the day: [courtesy of Kyle]

>Liz: Hard to tell the good guys from the bad guys.
>Control: No, we're the good guys alright. It's just that sometimes the lines get blurred.


Um, yeah Control, I think that's pretty much what Liz meant.

Angelica Award: Sheila's green off-the-shoulder dress. Nominated by everyone.

- Just a couple of notes from me, because the AHNs have all the bases covered. First, it's kind of ironic that before the episode began, I saw Ramy Zada hawking Excedrin. Strange how every time I see his character during the show I get a headache.

- Okay. It's official. April's moody saxophone is now THE MOST annoying music on the show. More than Pam's theme. More than Cally's guitar. I can't stand it any more.

From Greg Galbreath: Sheila Foley wants to assassinate some OPEC dudes. So she poses as Bobby's wife for what reason? Was it just to be able to get into the place? If that is the only reason, then who did April and the two 'bad guys" with her pose as to get into the place? Why couldn't Sheila get into the party the same way April did? Heartily agreed! There was something that bothered me about this but I couldn't put it into words. You've done it! Several people made general 'why the kidnapping ' comments.

From Mr. Southfork: So, though JR's telephone attempt to get to John Ross in England, we find out that Sue Ellen and Don Lockwood did indeed marry. JR even mentioned something about a honeymoon. A question arises from this: did Sue Ellen just leave John Ross and Christopher to go camping in England somewhere while she trotted off on her honeymoon with Lockwood? It seems odd that she would do something like that. This is what I got from the scene.

AHN Jason's corner:

- I think this whole kidnapping a Ewing bride subplot would have been kinda fun if JR's wife had been kidnapped.  He probably would purposely do the exact opposite of whatever the kidnappers wanted. Yes he would.

- Where is Cliff's new office?  I don't remember him having one before. Well, he's still head of the Oil Regulatory Commission - Stephanie Rogers got him there and left him there - but up till now we'd never seen his office.

- Why does Bobby have Jordan Lee call JR?  He "has a long leash" as Sheila says and could easily get to a phone.  (Maybe he doesn't dial so well, but that is another point....) That's a good point. Four reasons: first, Bobby probably doesn't have change. Second, even though Bobby has a long leash, he probably figures he's being watched. Third [and most likely], this would involve having Patrick Duffy dial a sensible quantity and sequence of phone buttons, which he has proved on many occasions to be beyond his grasp. Fourth, Don Starr's contract is up.

- Ok, so who is JR's secretary now?  Phyllis, Kendall, Jackie? Wait maybe Susan from episode 4 could come back so JR could officially fire her like all his other secretaries. I have no idea. It would be great if Susan could come back. I assume Kendall is temporarily filling in - or perhaps it is Jackie, out of whom they want to get SOME useful work.

- This whole kidnapping plot has so many loop-holes I lost count.  So if Jordan Lee can come to the event, why didn't Sheila pretend to be his wife?  He is a prestigious and well known oil man.  (And where is his wife anyway?) Jordan is no longer in the oil business - he sold out to Weststar, remember? So maybe he's not so important. And probably nobody would believe that Sheila is Evelyn Lee - she's not old enough. Where Evelyn is is a good question.

- How did Bobby get tickets to such an important event if he didn't even know about it when he arrived in Paris?   I doubt you could get them last minute.    If the kidnappers used Jordan's ticket, where did the second and third ticket come from to bring in April and the other assassin? Sheila probably had this plan going for a while, so she made "arrangements" to get tickets for herself and Bobby. These tickets can be had if you really want them, I guess. How the other assassins got in is a good question. The BEST question is why Sheila could not get in by the same manner. The ONLY thing that makes sense is that Sheila is sort of using Bobby as a shield. Let's say for sake of argument that something goes wrong with her plan [which it did] and she gets caught [which she doesn't]. She can continue to say that she is April Ewing, and then Bobby would be forced to help her and/or protect her in order to avoid bad publicity, while at the same time protecting his wife. Certainly there are better ways of going about this in the real world.

- Wouldn't Sheila's jewelry set off the metal detectors that she and Bobby go through? Yes.

- Why would Bobby let Sheila leave his sight while she "powders her nose" if he doesn't trust her? I think he's completely preoccupied with April - understandably so. Plus I think that while he suspects that something's fishy, he hasn't pieced it together yet.

- How did the bad guys get their guns in? Bad guys get guns in to places they shouldn't. Happens all the time. It's possible that, like Sheila, they had them pre-stashed.

- How did Sheila escape? We don't know yet, but I assume she knows Angelica Nero....

- What is this thing with Sheila obsessing over Bobby liking her and then getting all huffy when he refuses her?  She kidnapped his wife for gosh sakes!  And the "long leash" she keeps him on is sooo lame.  He just mozes in and out anytime he pleases, there is no sense of her being in control.

- For shame JR!  We thought you were bad enough when you canned sweet Sly. Now you frame poor innocent and demure Melinda on a false drug charge.  This being mean to such a likable and well-portrayed character is such a low blow. What is next, setting Patricia Shepard up on prostitution charges? That almost sounded believable. I'll take a poll and see who feels sorry for poor Melinda.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- Cally "I can tell when you're lying" Harper, guess what? J.R is out to get James. Nice try though. Must be all that oxygen rushing to her head after that exercise.

- That Bobby/April face shots of increasing intensity was absolutely painful. Sooooooooo lammmmmmmme. I kept saying "lame" every time the camera switched shots.

- Time inconsistency problem today. James makes mention of J.R giving up one week of his life, yet Sheila mentions that these "last few weeks" (implying that it's been three or maybe four weeks). I'm inclined to think the whole France thing has only lasted about a week (or ten days). I think you're right. Sheila must really have a case of the screaming thighs for Bobby. She's already pretending they've been together a long time.

AHN Alett's corner:

- Cliff's hair is just too much of a bouffant.  Not a good look for him. Speaking of hair, it's pretty impressive that Sheila and Liz are able to create those glam looks all by themselves. Sheila must have a "hairdresser in a box" kit. Liz at least would have easy access to stylists.

- This next day when Jordan is shot, Sheila is wearing the same outfit she had on the day before when Bobby ran out after April. Yes, she does. That scene was probably shot [and intended to be aired] earlier in the episode.

-  Right before Sheila and Bobby finally enter the OPEC gathering, there's a really obvious gray microphone stuck to Susan Lucci's back.  What, no room for a boom? Was there? No way! I've been looking for a microphone or the shadow of a boom mike ever since I can remember. It's one of the best types of nits. I'll look for this again.

- After all this planning for the assassination, why not do it right?  First Susan Lucci would probably need a step ladder to actually hit the guy. She's standing so far back there are at least 15 people in the way, all taller than she is.  Bobby, distracted by April, suddenly has dog-like hearing I guess.  That click of the gun being cocked seems to be the only clue as to what's about to happen.  And I figured there would immediately be blood on April's dress as she goes down. Luckily, Sheila got April a white dress - just her size, too! And you're right that she should have picked up some platform shoes.

AHN Val's corner:

- Cally.....WHAT THE *#!@% IS THAT WOMAN DOING??? Ab crunches. AB CRUNCHES!!! My stars, the woman, is PREGNANT!!! While cardiovascular exercise is healthy during pregnancy, spot toning (especially in the belly) is not. Get with the program, woman!!!!! I wouldn't know. Thanks for the tip.

- Dallas must have a deal with Ford. James, Sly, and even the late Tommy McKay all drove Ford Mustang Convertibles. Only the paint colors were different. Perhaps it's the same car, just repainted?

- Cliff's new office is gray. ALL gray. His apartment is also gray. Heck, even the OBC and Liz's new apartment are achromatically decorated. How about a little COLOR on these sets, people!!! No money in the budget.

- Johnny Dancer...someone buy that boy a COMB!!!!! It's part of the Dancer persona to have unkempt hair. And besides, he's only on for a few episodes, so why spend money on a comb?

AHN Rob's corner:

- No wonder JR didn’t get to speak to John Ross: He committed two phone sins in the process. First, he doesn’t even bother to listen for a dial tone, then he dials 13 numbers. Even still, he got a connection awful quickly…  Was it thirteen? I thought it was fifteen or so. Glad someone counted. I hope someone can confirm whether or not thirteen is the correct number of digits you need to dial England..

- WAIT A MINUTE!! All that tight security at the speech, and all they do is check women’s purses for weapons?! What about shoulder holsters under the men’s jackets? What about checking for miniature pistols in the small of the back? What about ankle holsters? And why in the hell weren’t they suspicious when Sheila arrived holding an empty purse?! Wouldn’t that indicate that something was up? I have no idea. This whole thing is a head shaker if you think about it.

AHN Pam's corner:

- Here is a costuming nit.  When Sheila and Bobby are at the wine shop where she lets him see April, Sheila is wearing a black outfit with a white blouse and those hideous hoop earrings and it is daylight, say mid afternoon, we know this as we see Bobby run out of the shop and catch the cab.  Later we see Bobby talking with Jordan and it is definitely dark, as in night.  A few minutes later we see Sheila getting out of the car, to once again yell at Bobby, and it is daylight again...as in the next day!!   Bobby has changed his clothes, but Sheila is still wearing the black outfit with the white blouse!  What's up with this?  Did she drive around all night looking for Bobby?  Very careless, they must not have budgeted enough $$$ for Susan to have one more outfit. I believe that this scene was filmed at the same time as April's aborted rescue scene, and was probably meant to be aired first. Then the producers looked at it and figured it would be better later in the show.

- How convenient that John Ross's picture, one I don't remember, is sitting on the mantle, and in the FRONT no less! Yes. I was going to let it go, but of course you're right.

- Speaking of James, how did Sly know where to find him?  J.R. had to lie and drag it out of Cally, but Sly just seems to know.  I didn't think they had seen each other since the poker game, so how exactly did she know? I'd have to think about that one a bit.

- There is a bad dubbing job when Sheila is talking to Bobby at the conference, it doesn't really look like her lips are moving with the sound.

- Let's talk wedding rings again.  Yesterday I mentioned that Sheila's story would be more convincing if she were wearing one.  Well, today she is still not wearing one and they emphasize this by showing a tight close up of none other than her ring finger, still no ring.  Also, when April is shot and she falls to the ground, I checked her finger and she also is NOT wearing a wedding ring.  What happened to it?  Did the kidnappers steal it?  She had it on yesterday when she smacked Sheila, I doubt she'd let it go. That's very odd. Sheree was married at the time, and still is, so she should definitely at least be wearing her real-life ring. Can't understand why she wouldn't.

AHN Mike's corner:

- McKay gets off a great line to Cliff: "You're not the buffoon I once thought you were." No, Carter, he's an even bigger buffoon because he's still refusing to sleep with a beautiful woman who's hot for him. And speaking of McKay, why didn't he threaten Cliff with the videotape of Cliff and Rose? Unless I missed something, Cliff doesn't know McKay burned it up to placate Rose. McKay can threaten to use the tryst as the reason that Cliff is denying him a variance thus either forcing Cliff to grant it and creating a scandal to get Cliff removed. I suppose you're right about that - must be an unwritten rule that last season's happenings are off limits.

- God, I love these flashes of the old JR. There are just too little of them. The way he went right to work to frame Carlisle's daughter and get his gambling license revoked was beautiful! Yes it was. It's a damn shame that the only people that job to him any more are losers like this. It reminds me of the way WCW is trying to make Kevin Nash look like a non-stiff by pointing out that he beat Hardcore Hak.

- I'll go along with Sheila's dress for the Angelica, but in the Accessories category ya gotta go with those mismatched UFO earrings she wore in her negotiating scene with Bobby.

- I never thought I'd miss the accordion music but that sax crap was awful. You'd think with all the bullets flying at the OPEC meeting somebody would have hit that damn sax player (probably that little dork, Kenny G.) and put us out of our misery.

- I thought the slo-mo shooting scene was mostly well-done except for using that over-done cliche of having Bobby scream a slo-mo "Noooooooooooooo" just as he realized April was in the line of fire. You could see it coming a mile a way. In fact, I instinctively and mockingly screamed "Noooooooooo" about two seconds before Bobby did. So did I because I remembered it so well.

- By the way, the security guard that checked Sheila's purse never actually looked inside, he merely opened the flap. must be a former Southfork or Ewing Oil security guy. Probably. Must be Ewing Oil because Southfork has NEVER had security except for the end of Season 3.

- As April and her two captors get ripped by bullets and go down, no a drop of blood or a single bullet hole can be seen. This is an embarrassment to the legacy of Sam Peckinpah. It was all added after they hit the ground. Well, April's dress had some red on it. The other guys didn't though.

- The reaction of the Arabs on the dais appeared that Sheila actually hit one of them but I thought Bobby pushed her and the gun skyward before she got off the first shot, making a hit implausible. Then again, given Susan Lucci's short stature...it might have happened.

- I'm surprised nobody noticed the similarity in looks between Johnny Dancer and Tommy McKay. Perm Tommy's greasy locks and then don't comb for a month and he'd look like Dancer's brother.


Episode 339: Tunnel of Love

Bonehead dialogue of the day: [courtesy of Alett]

> Kendall about April: "I can't believe it's true.  She was so beautiful."
(So I guess it's OK if ugly people get shot.)

Angelica Award: Liz's wacky blouse/jacket with all the gaudy jewels. Nominated by everybody.

I'm back in stride today, which is more than I can say for the Pakistani cricket team. But let's not go there.

- Those Paris reporters are absolutely pathetic. Somewhere between this afternoon and the unfortunate day Princess Diana died, they learned some persistence. Bobby comes to the hotel, starts jumping up the stairs, and the reporters in the lobby just let him through? And then by the time he gets to his room, they're not even close enough to him to be heard, assuming they even tried to come up with him? Pathetic. Any reporter worth his or her salt would have been pounding on the door.

- And the American press deserves some chastisement too. The Dallas Press, in their headline, refers to April as a "Dallas woman". Uh, excuse me? Shouldn't she be referred to as a "Ewing bride"? She just married one of the most wealthy and popular guys in the city! I remember very clearly that after Kristin's death, the headlines proclaimed: "EWING KIN DEAD". If you've even set foot on Southfork, the press will find a way to work it in when you die.

- The scene at the Oil Baron's Club was interesting. Rose is put into the elevator by Dora Mae. Then JR and Carter jaw at each other for a while. Then Carter gets into the elevator with his wife. So the elevator waited for him? It sure didn't look like Rose was pressing the "door open" button, even if she had been inclined to do so. Does the elevator have a weight sensor or something? Or did it simply read the script?

- Bobby bitterly tells Cally that "marrying a Ewing is a curse". Would his mother concur? Just a thought.

- It's a good thing Rose was wearing clip-on earrings when JR came over. That could have been messy otherwise.

- Here's one that took me some thought. In the final scene, we see JR come up to Ewing Oil in the elevator which is on the left side of the screen. He goes into Bobby's office as Phyllis leaves. This would have been in the left-hand elevator which JR took up. Then the detectives leave. Then Bobby and JR have their conversation and Bobby leaves, pressing the elevator button. Almost instantly, the left-side elevator opens. Wait a minute; that makes no sense! Since Phyllis had taken this elevator down to the ground floor, it should not have appeared as soon as Bobby pressed the button.

From Jason Cahill:

- Liz Adams is staying at the Marriott: When the hotel's exterior is shown, that chain's flag is visible. However, a few shows back Cliff, while visiting Liz, picked some ice out of a Sheraton ice bucket.

- Time zones: Paris is 6-7 time zones ahead of Dallas. JR took a call from Bobby after he was home from work and before he went to his party, so say it was around 7 PM Dallas time. That would make it about midnight Paris time. Yet Bobby makes the call from the Paris phone booth in broad daylight. Good call.

From Elad Benari:

- At the beginning of today's episode, during the "Also Starring" credits, Duke Carlisle's name was the regular shade of yellow. Then the rest of the names where a lighter shade, almost white. Patrick Duffy's name was again a lighter shade of yellow than everybody else's. Did you notice that whenever Worldvision is the producing company, there always seems to be something wrong with the text color? Lorimar seems to get it right, but Worldvision always screws it up. There has been a LOT of that going on this season.

-Major product promo today for American Airlines. Yup. In a way we should be glad - if not for American, they may not have had enough money for ANY guest stars this season.

- How the heck did Duke Carlisle figure out it was J.R. that got Melinda arrested? I wouldn't have been able to figure it out myself if I hadn't known. Seems a little too convenient... I guess he put two and two together eventually. Or perhaps someone at the police department, at JR's request, dropped a subtle hint.

-Just an observation: Is it customary for government agents to break into people's homes and threaten them with guns? This control guy is quite violent, I must say. It's really dangerous to get involved with the U.S. Government....might get yourself shot (and your brains turned into Moo Goo Gai Pan)! That was a pretty lame scene. But given that this is a pretty lame plot, I guess we're supposed to overlook it.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Geez, Cliff knows Liz for what?  two weeks and he is proposing.  Come on.   He knew Afton for years and strung her along. He's a different man. He knows that with that haircut, he can't be picky.

- Sly's hair looks blonder and longer than recently.  Looks good though.

- If Liz hates Johnny so much, why did she take his flowers? She's a sucker for roses, I guess.

- Bobby seems to say that he called JR last week, b/c JR "wasn't there for him".   I didn't think this happened. Must have been cut.

- I cracked up about the dialogue JR has with Rose.  "A woman who peels the paint off the walls"  IS that supposed to be a compliment? Sounds more like an insult. I have no idea what the heck that meant.

- The last PI to leave Bobby's office looks a lot like Mark Graison. I thought the one guy looked kind of like Wendell.

- Just a note.  It looked like Jackie was JR's secretary at the beginning of the episode, then it appeared Phyllis was obeying his orders.  I find it strange that Phyllis seems to ready to work for him when she says something to the opposite later this season. Yes, that is weird. I guess in times of crisis the secretaries are one.

- "April"'s foot steps sound like they don't match up with the sounds we hear. Well, it's Bobby's vision...

- If Carter hasn't touched Rose since the Cliff incident, what is he doing about his carnal needs?  I mean, OK Rose is not Pam or Sue Ellen, but she looks pretty good to me when she dresses half way normal.  Carter could do a lot worse.  For that matter, why does Rose stay with him?  She proved at the beginning of the 12th season that she could handle being out on her own without him and she clearly is not in this relationship for the money.  If a guy won't treat her with respect, why doesn't she just leave?   She would probably be better off on her own.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- While I don't want to start another controversy with the newsgroup (HA!), based on DALLAS logic, James IS a half-breed. The situation parallels that of Ray Krebbs. A Ewing man (Jock or J.R) has a child with a women who does not end up being a Mrs. Ewing. Thus Ray and James are, in DALLAS terms, half-breeds. Correct. Just don't let Newman hear you. [Kidding. Give that moron the what for.]

-When's the last time we saw Rancho del McKay? Seems like forever.

- Just when I thought J.R. couldn't sink any lower, he goes out and shags Rose McKay rotten. Yuck! Yes. This really got me thinking about the disgusting degrading quality of JR's conquests. Was this the man who, over the course of the first half of he series, "took the wicket" of Julie Grey, Kristin, Serena, Afton, Holly Harwood, and Katherine? Then in the second half, we have the following: Mandy, Angelica, April, Kimberly, April, Cally, Laurel, Diana Farrington, Anita, and Rose. Oh, come on. Mandy and Cally were real relationships rather than conquests; so other than April and Laurel, this absolutely sucks.

AHN Val's corner:

- The front porch of Cliff's condo is different today than in past seasons. Before, it was all stained wood...ceder siding, I think. Today, it was just white. In fact, it looked EXACTLY like the indoor hallway version of Nicholas Pierce's condo entryway.

- JR answers the phone "Yeah, JR Ewing here". This would be acceptable at the office, but at Southfork? Although, I guess that since JR is the only one home, he figured that any phone call would be for him. I guess so. That was very odd. I think I'm going to answer my home phone the same way....maybe not.

- Bobby's eye make-up looks way overdone. I don't even wear that much!

- Someone commented that Johnny Dancer looks like Tommy McKay. I disagree. I think he looks more like a cross between SNL player Chris Elliot and Don Lockwood.

- April's mom gave Bobby permission to bury April in Paris. That's all fine and well, but why would he even want to? I would think Bob would want her buried in Texas so she could be closer to him. In fact, I would think Paris would be the LAST place he would want to lay her to rest. Given the way Bobby tore into the French, and all the bad memories, I doubt he would EVER return in the future to visit her grave. That thought alone makes me want to cry. I completely agree. Lame.

- Liz went into the next room to change clothes, but she didn't even close the door. That's an awfully risky move with that big, creepy-looking guy in the house. Maybe now I see what Cliff sees in her...she's a wild woman at heart.

- Why didn't April's mom attend her funeral in Paris? I could understand it if she couldn't afford the airfare. But even that's no excuse. I'm sure Bobby would have gladly covered all her travel expenses. I guess all her little committees are really that much more important to her. I think the whole idea of having this scene was to avoid explaining why they didn't have this scene. But it causes more trouble than it fixes.

- The cab Bobby took to the airport had a no-smoking symbol in the window. In FRANCE!!!! Yeah, right!!! Very interesting. But I'm fairly certain he still is in France because I think that's Orly airport that we see.

AHN Alett's corner:

- Please let this be the last time we have to see that damned boat on the Seine. AND THE DAMN SAXOPHONE!

- According to James, JR has a heart the size of a peanut.  Considering what a hold JR has on James, the kid should say to him, "You're such a peanut butter heart."

AHN Pamela's corner:

- As far as I can tell, Bobby walked around for awhile in the same suit that he was holding April in when she died, yet, there was no blood on it.  They could've at least put a spot on his shirt or something. Excellent call.

- When Bobby arrives at April's condo, we see it from a different angle and there is a picture of Bobby and April I never remember seeing before in her condo. It is familiar, was it in Bobby's office at some point? I'm trying to place it - I can't imagine where it might have been taken, other than Salzburg. But if so, why haven't we seen it before? Certainly it would be a very special picture for April.

- Bobby who isn't known for his 'proper business attire' manages to suit up before heading over to Ewing Oil.  I would think that his attire would be the last thing on his mind.  Then again maybe it's tacky to purchase a P.I. firm in your jeans! Suddenly he's paying attention to protocol. Great call.

AHN Mike's corner:

- Duke Carlisle was sartorialy splendiferous today - everything was in complimentary blues, even the hat. I've noticed that his trademark is the two-tone jacket with the leather shoulders and a hat in matching color. But what was that pattern on the back of the coat? It looked like long thin lines with hearts at the end.

- The cycle James was working on may have need a lube job but his hair sure didn't. It gets slicker by the episode. Is that a real tattoo on him? I can't imagine they would have taken the time and expense to draw it on him again. I thought he was a model before "Dallas". A tattoo like that would have been a real detriment to a modeling career in those days, unlike today. I'm fairly certain he had that tattoo already [in "real-life" when we saw him in the parlor.

- I realize Bobby was distraught over losing April and the sax music but couldn't he have at least called one person in Dallas to have them pass the word April had been killed? Instead, people hear it first in the media. That seems awfully cruel. I don't know what he's thinking. He berates JR for not being there but he's not a great communicator either, is he?

- Poor Christopher loses another potential mother. I can hear his reaction now. "She was killed because I'm adopted."

- Speaking of Control, isn't there a requirement for government field agents to be in some kind of physical shape? The only damage this guy appears capable of doing is to any all-you-can-eat buffett. I'm surprised he didn't take Cliff's Chinese food when he had the gun on him. That would have been hilarious. I don't know who this guy's fooling.

- Is this the first episode where Cliff wears bifocals? I also noticed why Cliff has a new hairstyle. His hair has thinned too much for the old one, but it's thinned irregularly to where he has a tuft of hair up front in the middle with a bald spot behind it. By combing the tuft up and back they are semi-covering the bald spot and giving the illusion he still has a full head of hair. And what's up with that red silk bathrobe?

- A question for the ladies: why would Cally wear lipstick in the shower? She comes out of the bathroom soaking wet with lipstick on when she hears Bobby.


# 340 Heart and Soul

Bonehead dialogue of the day: [courtesy of Alett]

> Cliff to Liz - "What do you think could happen to me that would hurt worse than this?"
(Like she's the love of his life, right.  Wait until the neck brace Cliff!)

Angelica Award: All of Michelle's outfits. Sly's fringed jacket comes second.

The Carter McKay Instant Tantrum meter: 1. Subdued, but it should still count.

- When Liz points a gun at Johnny Dancer, she points it at the right side of his chest. Wouldn't it be better aimed at the left side, at his heart? Shouldn't Liz know that?

- Christopher WANTS to go to school? What kid comes home from a holiday and then WANTS to go to school the very next day? There's something really wrong with this kid.

- Does anyone else think that Liz rearranges her furniture too much? Every time we see her room the furniture is set up differently.

- Does anyone else think that Carter McKay desperately needs a new wardrobe? I mean, come on, Carter, when the seams are bursting it's time to spend some money.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- Ahhh....yet another rousing game of "let's see how long we can go w/o telling Ellie that someone very close to her has died/been arrested/committed". Wouldn't she just go absolutely ballistic when she actually finds out (like 3 months later)? My guess would be yes. Yes. They must have read the script and realized she's not coming back.

- How much school have the boys missed? It's not summer (unless they get back right at the beginning of September). These kids must be missing SOME assignments. My guess is that John Ross actually fails his classes but then goes up to the teacher at the end of the year and says "do you know who I am? I'm John Ross freaking Ewing!".

- Was Michelle's voice-over in the church really necessary? DALLAS' bread and butter is the overly dramatic soliloquy.

- Who the hell does Cliff think he is trying to fight Johnny Dancer? This isn't a Ewing wedding!! Cliff is SO lame. I'm trying to remember the last time he even performed decently in a fight.

- April only leaves half a mil to her mom. She has over a hundred million dollars!! Let's share the wealth. Why does sis get it all?? Silly. I got a kick out of the lawyer saying that she left some to her "friends". WHAT FRIENDS?

- Wasn't the whole point of Mr. Foley's suicide that his company went belly-up? Seems to me like it really wouldn't take much to destroy Foley Petrotech...they're probably already almost there. I agree. The only thing I can say here is that it's possible that Bobby doesn't know that yet. I think he finds out soon.

-  I fail to see why J.R. needs Rose to tap McKay's office. It's not like she could in being all lovey-dovey with Mack and then plant it w/o arousing suspicion. Why doesn't J.R. just do it himself? A little contrived. Perhaps a scene was cut - I guess Rose wouldn't be under suspicion if she brought a "friend" [Ratagan] to McKay's office.

- Johnny Dancer BUYING WESTAR???? I can't even believe they started this plotline. What an absolute joke! It's like DALLAS had a business consultant for the scripts but then they had to fire him, and now they have to pretend like they understand the oil business (which clearly they DON'T). A guy can't just walk in and BUY Westar! How many times do we have to go through this??? I think this came across wrong. I believe what Johnny means is that because of his past with McKay [through which it is to be assumed that McKay owes him favors] Johnny will slowly buy up McKay's Weststar stock and eventually get control of the company. But it's so lame the way it's discussed.

AHN Alett's corner:

- Rose is no fun anymore.  She looks too good.  She either spent some of McKay's money on a color consultant, or, more likely, went out and bought "Color Me Beautiful" and figured out she's an autumn.  You're right about Rose looking much better. Jason and I were discussing this yesterday. I always considered Rose to be trailer park trash on the Dallas ladies' scale but these episodes have brought her up a notch.

- Even Jackie is finally looking decent.  It must be because JR has adopted her as his secretary.

- That Oil Barons club is such a rowdy place that today's obligatory face slap - Shelly to Bobby - didn't even cause a ripple. It got a bit quiet but nothing else.

- Since Rose wouldn't know exactly when McKay's office would be swept for bugs, it's pretty convenient that JR hits a goldmine of information. Of course, McKay will now be vulnerable, but it's more interesting to consider what JR might do to Sly.  What ever happened to her loser brother who made her susceptible to Cliff early on? I'm pretty sure that Cliff got him out on parole.

- It's nighttime when Bobby makes his call to locate Cliff.  He's obviously talking to Cliff's secretary, not an answering service.  Come on.  Cliff is now a government worker.  Since his secretary is too, there's no way she'd be there. Excellent call.

- What a relief Johnny Danzig isn't going to be back.  I cringed during that whole speech to Liz about her being an untamed horse he's going to saddle. Of course, now we have to endure the whole "Who shot Johnny?" storyline. I would rather have that than being forced to see the guy. His dialogue is SO PAINFUL. The only thing worse is Liz's dialogue back at him. Why does every sentence have to end with a breathy "Johnny"?

AHN Jason's corner:

- Did anyone catch the guest credits.  They start "AND GH as Vanessa Beaumont"  Did someone get yanked out of the credits on us?  Why? I don't think anyone else was around. Weird.

- Dora Mae's outfits seem to change from "school marm" cardigans to elegant evening dresses and back.  What is up with her wardrobe?

- Liz and Johnny's wine glasses seem to disappear from the table after the fight with Cliff.  I don't think they rolled off or anything. Good one. I totally missed it.

- Carter's "James, Don't hate" speech is sooooo hypocritical after what he put Rose and Tracey through last season with his revenge and anger. You bet. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think James is right! What is up with all of these people? Why does everyone suddenly want to be a babyface?

- The waiter seems to leave the money JR gives him on the tray when he leaves the room with his buddies.

AHN Mike's corner:

- Shelly should have known better than to slap Bobby in a bar. He never loses a bar fight. I wish he would have popped her though after he blocked the second slap. Maybe the color was off for this episode but Shelly's hair appeared to have gone from blonde to Jackie-like grey. Jackie, by the way, looked to be wearing her hair in a style inspired by Princess Leia of Star Wars. Jackie looks better all of a sudden, I think. Maybe it is the Leia look.

- Why is there a pattern on both sides of Liz's door? Makes it look like it's wallpapered.

- All-time dumb move: Cliff has a gun put to his head and is told he's a dead man if he sees Liz again. So what does Mr. Loser do? He goes directly to Liz's apartment and see her! I need to give my head a shake. I can't believe I missed that. And everyone else.

- More dumb dialogue: Liz to Cliff (in a surgical collar) "Johnny's a dangerous man." Cliff to Liz "Don't ever think I'm not." Yeah, Cliff, but only dangerous to yourself. Here you are, a physical wreck after making an ass out of yourself at the OBC and throwing the first punch at guy young enough to be your son. I really enjoyed seeing Cliff get the crap kicked out of him.

- When it comes to women, JR has class: No one-man band, no dixieland band and hot dog vendor, JR goes first class all the way in wooing Vanessa. Wouldn't have it any other way. Say what you want about JR, but he's a class guy when he wants to be.

AHN Pamela's corner:

-  Rude moment by J.R. as he barges in to Bobby's office during his meeting.   I mean, the door was CLOSED. The least he could've done was knock.

- It seems that this OPEC thing would have possibly been an international incident, so why didn't Clayton and Ellie hear about it?  I can agree with the fact that MAYBE they didn't hear about April's death specifically but they should've at least heard about the incident.  Knowing Bobby and April were going to Paris, you would at least think they would've tried to contact J.R., Ewing Oil or even Bobby himself if they happened to know where they were staying, just to see if everything were alright.  Clayton specifically says that he didn't know a thing until he stopped off in London to see Sue Ellen and thought it best to bring
the boys home with him. It's also very convenient that he would make that stop. Then he says that he doesn't want to tell Ellie about April's death yet, why not? Is she again not strong enough to handle the truth? Over the years they have made Ellie in to a weak woman who is merely a shell of her former self.  If I were Ellie I'd be pretty mad when I finally found out the truth.  This whole thing is very odd. Well, I don't think it's SO convenient that Clayton went to London - he was going to see the boys, right? The fact that everyone thinks Ellie is a weak woman is totally pathetic. This has gone on every since she married the ox, and it stinks to high heaven. I miss the old Ellie. Is this the woman who said, "Ray, get me the shotgun out of the hall closet"? Or "We may be wrong, we may be right, but we're Ewings, and we stick together."

- I am really getting sick and tired of James' incessant whining about wanting to take J.R. down.  In this episode alone he whines to Sly, Cliff and McKay. SHUT UP!!!!   If you want revenge, go have Sly's notes printed in the newspaper or something, I'm sure it'd make the FRONT PAGE!  C'mon, all Ewing related stories do.  Suck it up James and get your life together. True enough. I commented that it's totally lame that everyone suddenly is in no mood to hurt JR, but James isn't doing himself any favors either.

- Finally!  After as many times as people have punched each other, smacked each etc. we see somebody who actually looks like they got hurt.  After Johnny beats the crap out of Cliff he is wearing a neck brace....'bout time!  It's not perfect though.   Johnny also punched Cliff in the face...where's the bruise?

- April really shafted her mother in her will. She only gave the woman $500,000???   How CHEAP!  You'd think she'd want to have set her mother up for the rest of her life.  Of course, I would've thought she would've already done this.   Speaking of that, where was mom at the will reading...committee meeting, coffee clutch?  Again, they didn't want to PAY the actress.  I don't know why I'm surprised, after all she didn't attend her daughter's funeral, why would I think that she would attend the will reading.  To add insult to injury, April turns around and gives Shelley the remainder of her estate AND makes her the executrix?? The only thing she has to say about it is that now Shelley got everything she ever wanted.  I know this was all done for better plot development and a major push for Shelley, but still, this is so stupid. Your last statement is key. Hear, hear!

-  I don't like the comparisons used during the conversation between Liz and Johnny where she pulls the gun on him (which is apparently all she seems to carry in her purse).   First, Liz says that she enjoyed watching Johnny beat up Cliff about as much as she would enjoy watching an elephant stomp on a mouse.  Is she comparing Cliff, the man she supposedly loves, to a mouse?  I get her point, but still don't like it. I'm married and I would never compare my husband to a rodent.  Also, Johnny tells her that she is like a wild horse that has never been ridden and that he can't wait to mount his saddle (or something like that).  By all accounts to references he made to their former relationship in episode 339, he's mounted his saddle AND ridden the wild horse before.......lame! Mike pointed this out. Every conversation they have is so damn pathetic.

- Jackie displays some more of her trademark incompetence today.....how unusual! First of all, hasn't she ever heard of a buzzer??  I could overlook that because she goes to J.R.'s door, if it weren't for her next couple of stupid moves. When she knocks, she doesn't even wait for him to answer before she goes in to tell him Michelle is there to see him.  How does she know what he's doing?  He could be on a very important business call (though I highly doubt it lately).  Then when J.R. tells her to send Michelle in, it's like Michelle is waiting on Jackie's heels! I mean Jackie doesn't even have to say anything like "J.R. will see you Miss Stevens." and then a few seconds go by and Michelle comes in.  Jackie just simply steps aside and in walks Michelle.  Get a clue J.R., you really need Sly back on the payroll! He'll figure that out today, I believe. Good points.

- When J.R. presses the elevator button to go down, the door opens almost immediately and there's Vanessa. I didn't hear a ding or anything, it's just there she is!  As fast as those doors opened, J.R. should've heard a ding before he ever even pushed the button.

- April had a will drawn up, but only at the insistence of her attorney??  I mean, I know she was young, but if I had come in to the kind of money she did, I'd certainly draw up a will.  I mean, her business sense has been questioned in the past, i.e. the way her restaurant disappeared and the lucrative (snicker) April Oil, but where's her common sense? She can't be this dumb!  I'd write it up for no other reason than to ensure that the funds wouldn't go in to probate with large amounts eventually going for attorney fees.  I'd also want to make sure that everything ended up where I wanted it......of course, look where it ended up, which proves she has no common or business sense and she is just plain DUMB! In the end, the attorney must have read the script and knew she better get her affairs in order.....LAME!

AHN Analise's corner:

- Didn't anyone find it odd that when JR arrived at Vanessa's hotel room with champagne, food, and perfume that Vanessa actually put on the perfume???  When a lady gets ready for a night on the town, not only does she make sure that her hair is perfect, her dress is elegant, and her makeup is flawless, SHE ALSO PUTS ON PERFUME!!!  But we see her dab some perfume on her neck.  So now she is wearing 2 perfumes?  How ghastly!!!   This would be much for anyone to handle!  Or did she read the script and know not to put on perfume?  Nope, 2 different perfumes are too much to take!

- Since when does room service enter a room without permission of the hotel guest.  I travel a great deal on business and this never happens!  Believe me!  If you are not there, the food goes right back to the kitchen.  So to see that woman go in to Johnny Fever's (oops, Dancer's) room like that would never happen in real life. Maybe he gave orders to the effect that if he's not around, they should just leave dinner there. It was rather odd, though.

- One more nit about her.  She was in a chamber maid's uniform.  Room service people at a formal business hotel, both men and women, at night always where tuxedos.   They never dress like a waitress from a diner.

- The Chairmanship of Westar is decreasing less and less in value.  Now Clayton was the candidate?  Who is next?  Jackie?? By the terms of Atticus's will, it should be alphabetical. So after Clayton and then Dusty, I'd say Jackie would be next.


# 341 The Fabulous Ewing Boys

Bonehead dialogue of the day: [courtesy of Val]

> Detective to Liz: "There's two schools of thought on that. There's yours and there's ours".

Angelica Award: Vanessa's gaudy floral dress. Nominated by Jason. Rose was not far behind.

- Just one from me today. Sly is totally lame letting James waltz into to JR's office. And why is it that James has some playful banter with all of the Ewing Oil girls, but not Phyllis?

AHN Jason's corner:

- A TNN first-  The Bobby/Chris scene where he tells the boy about April's death was seen in the 339 end spoilers and the 341 beginning review but cut from 340.  That is pretty sad, since yesterday's episode sucked so bad.

- There was a comment on Liz's apartment and how often she moves her furniture.  This is even more stupid since she lives in a HOTEL. That was my comment, and it goes double now that I realize she's in a hotel.

- If Jackie was JR's secretary (until mid episode anyways) why doesn't she sit at Sly's old desk?  Why does she sit in front of James's old office? I guess she read the script. Bizarre.

- More of a comment than a nit.  Liz plays way too dumb to the police since they could verify her background with Johnny.  Her story would have worked better if she admitted more of an involvement instead of saying she didn't know him before he came to town.  If she claimed they had been friends in the past but said in casually, I think her story would have been more plausible.  To claim she never met him would be easy to disprove. I totally agree. Liz is dumber than 1988 April.

- James tells Vanessa that he knows she met with JR b/c she knew where to find him.   But JR didn't know where he was until only a few scenes earlier when JR rehired Sly and there is no scene (that we see) where JR confronts James at the shop.  I assume there was and TNN cut it. And I assume Vanessa would have no idea where to find James if she didn't talk with JR but I just found the exchange between James and her awkward.

- If Michelle is staying at April's where is Cally staying at? Michelle's? I guess so. Hadn't thought about it.

- Why hasn't Cally gotten her divorce yet?  I thought she wanted a quickie so she could disappear. Then she read the script and realized that she needs to hang around a while to make Vanessa uncomfortable.

AHN Val's corner:

- Carter told Rose that maybe he'd take her out to dinner. This surprises me, considering the way she embarrassed him by loudly airing her sexual woes to the entire Oil Baron's Club. Why on earth would he risk another public outburst from that woman? No clue. Good point.

- Before JR showed up, Sly was just hanging around her apartment, unemployed and exercising, She should have been out pounding the pavement, looking for a job. Must have read the script and realized she doesn't really need another job. Or perhaps she realized that having a steady job at Ewing Oil had made her put on a few pounds and she wanted to work it off so she could fit into her slut outfits again.

- And speaking of Sly's apartment, that's a rather fancy place she has for an (unemployed) secretary. In fact, Sly's apartment is on par with super-rich April's!!! I wouldn't say her apartment is that fancy. I would say that April's apartment is VERY understated.

- Liz was awfully overdressed for the DAYTIME visit to Cliff's condo. That black shoulder-wrap suit is more appropriate for a fancy dinner and a symphony concert.

- The desk clerks at Vanessa's hotel just let JR into Vanessa's suite without her there. A fact that they apparently shared with Vanessa on her way up to her room. That place has about as much security as Southfork!!!

- How did Bobby know that Michelle was staying at April's apartment? More importantly, Cally is staying there, and those two hate each other. Man, the fur must have been flying over at North Park Plaza!!! I think it's safe to assume that Cally no longer lives there. As Jason points out, where has Cally gone? A scene must have been cut.

- JR's audio recording of Carter and John's last conversation was obviously redone for the tape. Carter's "GET OUT" sounds waaaay different. Other than that, it was a pretty good recreation.

- Vanessa's telling JR that they couldn't possibly have another child just had me shaking my head. That woman is what, 50-55 years old? She's truly flattering herself if she thinks she could possibly become a mother again at her advanced age. And I don't mean this so much from a physical standpoint, but an emotional one. Look at the bang-up job she did with her little turncoat James.

AHN Alett's corner:

- Why is Liz staying in a place that doesn't even have a peephole?  Since she's been in New York, she would see this as a necessity for sure.  And now Sly does the old - I'll just yell through the door instead of look through the peephole- routine. Liz is at a hotel. Hotels aren't big on peepholes. Good point about Sly.

- I guess Liz doesn't really wear makeup.  It's all tattooed on.  At least that's how it looks when she gets out of the shower!

- Don't the Ewings still have their private jet or helicopter?  Why would Bobby need to book a flight, or as it turns out, drive to Odessa?  Knowing he's going to have Shelly with him, I think he'd take the fastest route possible.  Driving to Odessa with her would be excruciating. Last year, I pointed this out in tomorrow's nits. I think the real reason is that due to budget constraints they had to lose the Ewing jet. [Surprised they couldn't twist American Airlines's arm to give them a small plane].

AHN Pamela's corner:

- It's Bobby's turn to be rude today. When he has Michelle step in to his office, he pours himself a drink, but doesn't offer her one.  I know he's not happy with her, but you would think Miss Ellie would've taught him better manners than this. I noticed that too! I let it go because I figured he might have somehow known she wouldn't want one...but you're right.

- When J.R. asks Sly where to find James, she tells him he's living/working in a motorcycle shop on some street (she said the name,but I can't remember it). She doesn't tell J.R. the name of the shop or an exact address.  It's either a very well known shop, a very short street, or the only motorcycle shop on the street. My guess is the latter.

- I love when James tells Sly NOT to call security because he won't hurt J.R..   Security?  What security? Good one. I and most of the veteran AHNs tend to be somewhat numb to this because we've heard it so often.

- I have a few comments concerning Vanessa's visit with James at the motorcycle shop.   They have their little chit-chat and she says that they are being very polite and formal. I really can't imagine Vanessa any other way.  She's not exactly the put on your jeans and play in the sandbox type of mom, she's too prim and proper.  James tells her that he is living/working there and she says "whatever makes you happy." not once asking WHY he is not so much working there, but living there.   He goes on to explain that he's broke. She expresses absolutely no concern at hearing this news.  Now, from what I understand, he had a trust fund or some sort of money of his own, inheritance or something.  If I had his kind of money and I told my mother that suddenly I was broke, I know she'd have a few questions for me.  Then, she goes on to tell James that after she heard about J.R. and Cally breaking up, and before she knew that J.R. and James were having problems, she had this 'charming' vision of the three of them living together as a family. Charming?  What is she fifteen?   She sounds like a teenager with her first real case of puppy love!  This whole conversation is totally stupid!

- Not a nit, just an observation.  When the guys are home alone, they do not dress for dinner, they're all wearing jeans.  I assume it's about time for dinner, Clayton asks Michelle if she'll be staying for dinner and nobody seems like they're in a hurry to go upstairs to change, they all seem pretty comfortable. It's nice to see that even at Southfork you can wear jeans to dinner once in a while.  Bobby must've convinced them that jeans are OK at home, not just in the office! This is an outstanding point. Can't believe no one picked this up.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- Cally sez "you better dare not tell him". Halleyville upbringing or not, that's just plain awkward, Cally. How about "you better not tell him"?

- Do you think that Bobby's direction of "Christopher, stand up!" was un-scripted? I'm leaning towards yes. It just seemed so incongruous. I think you might be right.

- Very unlike J.R today (of course, everything he does is very un-J.R. now, sigh...). First off, he should win the McKay Award, because that tantrum comes out of NOWHERE. Secondly, he usually picks his spots, and fighting in front of the boys is not his thing. Strange. No, it's not his thing. I guess they needed to do SOMETHING to liven up this snoozefest. It sort of worked.

- Forgot to mention this earlier, isn't Christopher just a little TOO indifferent to April's death? Maybe they cut out a scene or maybe, just maybe (drum roll...) it's because he's adopted. Yeah. It's old hat to him now. I can't imagine what further tragedy this kid could suffer. "Christopher, your mother's dead." "Christopher, your dad's dead." "Christopher, you're adopted". Been there, done that.


# 342 The Odessa File

Bonehead dialogue of the day: [courtesy of Kyle]

>Waiter: "You're secretary is on the phone."
>J.R [into the phone]: "Hello. J.R. Ewing here."
Hey dummy! It's your secretary! She knows who she's calling for.

Angelica Award: Vanessa's strapless dress. The dress itself was nice. It would just look better on someone else. ANYONE else!!! Nominated by Val.

The Carter McKay Instant Tantrum meter: 1, in his home with Rose.

- Why do Bobby and Michelle drive to Odessa if time is of the essence? Wouldn't it have been faster to take the Southfork helicopter? Odessa is not much further away from Dallas than San Angelo, and Ellie and JR took frequent trips to the Southern Cross in Season 4. Maybe it's a fuel thing...budget cuts and what not.

- When Harve comes to Ewing Oil the first time, why doesn't Sly announce him? He just comes into JR's office with no warning.

- An interesting revelation came to light today: according to Carter's calendar, his meeting with Dancer was on Friday, June 14. That would mean that the year is 1991. A nit of sorts results from this: by all accounts, Dancer was shot that night. The very next morning, Detective Bussey is in full effect. Wait a minute: a homicide cop would be pursuing an ACTIVE INVESTIGATION on a Saturday? Hard to believe.

AHN Alett's corner:

- The whole conversation between Bobby and Cliff about Liz seems screwy. First, Bobby barely talked with her.  He just pranced away on his horse. Next, Cliff suggests to Bobby that he did know she was a government agent. In his big scene with Liz, he starts off by saying, "Why didn't you tell me you were an agent, etc." Maybe they had another conversation which was cut.

- I have to give them credit for casting Miranda Garrison as Sheila.  She and Susan Lucci look like they really could be related.  The female detective says they verified her identity because her fingerprints match those on file with the state.   She's not a criminal.  Why should the state have her fingerprints?  There seems to be a little problem again with doctor/patient privilege.  The police haven't been brought into this, yet the doctor seems very willing to spill the beans about her, and they already have permission to search her room! Very simple explanation. The following was said: "Look, doc, I'm Bobby Ewing..."

- And I loved that agenda entry.  Right above J. Dancer it says 8:15 breakfast with Leslie Moonves.  If I'm not mistaken, he was head of programming at CBS.  I don't know what his role was in 1991, but he frequently got grief from David Letterman. He was indeed head of programming at that time.

AHN Jason's corner:

- I have a hard time seeing how JR could regain control of Ewing Oil from Westar.   What about the DOJ? He would probably do it through a dummy corporation.

- Just a note- I think JR and Vanessa actually do make a beautiful mature couple.   Vanessa is a classy lady and starting to look much better then before.  Like Rose, she seems to grow on you and you start to see her better  points. I don't mind Vanessa that much - what I'm against is the way everyone is trying to sell her as a goddess. To have the beautiful Cally gushing over how great she is rubs me the wrong way.

- Just a note-  Susan Lucci was credited as an "Also Starring" star while Barbara Eden was credited as "Special Appearances By". Kinda interesting to see how much more pull BE had in her contract than SL. I heard she and Larry Hagman had a gig together once. :)

AHN Val's corner:

- Bobby leaves Southfork and takes off for Odessa. So who's watching Christopher? Miss Ellie and Lucy are gone. Cally has moved out. Raoul and Theresa don't seem to be around anymore, and Cliff is out of town. I know he (and John Ross too) are in school all day, but who's watching those boys at night? Are they "with friends", a la Charlie Wade, circa 1984? Excellent point. But since it's June [according to Carter's calendar], they're probably not even in school.

- Check out Sheila Foley's picture Bobby was looking at. Check out the woman fourth from the left, in the gold dress, standing with the gray-haired guy. I could swear THAT'S PAM!!!! Also in that picture was Jordan Lee, who said he saw her at a party a few years back. Could there be some sort of connection? Also, I'm shocked that Bobby didn't at least acknowledge this. I thought so too. It looks sort of like Pam but I think there's enough of his difference.

- JR was eating sushi. I thought he liked ALL his food cooked. When Ewing Oil is involved, he makes exceptions, I guess.

- How was Bobby able to find a buyer for Ewing Oil and close the sale all in one day? It takes longer; quite a bit longer to find a buyer for, and close escrow on a simple little house. Well, they only signed an agreement in principle, right? They say it'll take five days to get the official documents made up. And, as we'll find out, Lee Ann is a motivated buyer.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- What is the point in McKay leaving the bug in his office (functioning)? First of all, whoever planted it there would know that it had been found ("we are looking for bugs now...") and second of all, it would STILL be recording his conversations. Maybe if he was trying to give J.R some bad info, but that's not what he did. Silly. It may not be over yet, but the first point is great.

- J.R., how the hell are you going to convince Bobby to sell to Westar? Come on now... If they up their offer, it could happen.

AHN Pamela's corner:

- They fixed the color of the print on Patrick Duffy's name in the opening credits.   It matches everyone else's now.

- Bobby and Michelle have been driving all night, but amazingly they look wide awake and refreshed. Michelle is still in full makeup....great stuff she buys!!  it doesn't smudge or wear off!!  Her suit's not wrinkled either.  Speaking of their drive, what in the world did those two find to talk about for the entire ride? I have no idea. That's quite a trek to Odessa - a good 10 hours at least.

- Bobby changed his shirt in Odessa.  When did he find time to go shopping?   When he came down the stairs with Michelle before they left Southfork, he wasn't carrying any luggage so I have to assume he went shopping.

-  Liz is standing by the door in Cliff's office about to leave when Cliff asks her to wait a minute and he is standing by his desk.  The camera angle changes and as Liz turns around Cliff is right in front of her.  That's a pretty large office, Cliff got over to her in record time. Can't believe I missed that.

- I'm glad to see someone has some manners today. When Lee Ann pours herself a cup of coffee or tea, whatever it is, she pours one for Bobby too.  She didn't ask Bobby first, but it was polite none the less.  Bobby should really learn from this. Excellent point. She can really teach these Texas boys something.

- Timing is everything.  When Bobby is leaving Ewing Oil to go to Paris, notice how the elevator door is just standing wide open waiting for him.  It's like the elevator read the script!  Also, when J.R.'s elevator arrives at the floor, we hear the ding, the up light doesn't go on, it should, they do have some strange elevators.

AHN Analise's corner:

- JR, once realizing that Harve would not represent him, should have moved quickly to get another lawyer working on blocking Bobby's sale of Ewing Oil.  A long delay could have easily been established.  To see common business practice thrown out the window by these writers makes me cringe! The distraction provided by Vanessa might explain this, but you're quite right. The old JR would have done this.

- Why is Bobby wearing all denim?  This is a new thing for him.  Heck, in this case, Michelle is actually dressed better than Bobby.

AHN Mike's corner:

- There's a discussion between Mac and Rose about "covering his tail". Exactly how much material would you need to cover that tail? I'm thinking the tarp they use to cover the infield at Texas Rangers games.

- That Mac is some man. He's been shoveling down a huge breakfast and he's immediately ready for sex afterwards? He's a better man than me. I wonder what George Costanza would have to say about this.

- My wife points out that the sanitarium Sheila Foley is in is the same one where Amanda Ewing was visited by Jock's sons. I guess Texas isn't nearly as big as we're led to believe. Is she sure about that? How can she tell?

- Bobby better start re-evaluating his investment in that detective company. They FAX a photo of "Sheila" to someone for ID purposes. Even with today's fax technology, faxing a photo is a waste of time quality-wise.

- Jeez, the wardrobe budget for Vanessa must be zero. How many times has she worn that black strapless evening gown? I'd say at least three. She's supposed to be a rich European socialite/dilletante. We should NEVER see her in the same outfit.


# 343 Sail On

Bonehead dialogue of the day: None.

Angelica Award: Michelle's dress with the shoulder holes.

The Carter McKay Instant Tantrum meter: 1, in his office with Ratagan.

- JR tells Bobby, when he calls from Paris, "Christopher's not here." Then where is he? Shouldn't Bobby be concerned, or at least ask where the heck his son is?

From Regan Parker: I have a continuous nit from the last 2 episodes: On Thursday's show, JR puts the engagement ring on Vanessa's right hand. And on Monday's show she is still wearing it on her right hand.  If they're engaged, shouldn't she be wearing it on her left hand? This is a good point but I read somewhere that in Europe, women wear engagement and wedding rings on the right hand. That could be wrong.

AHN Jason's corner:

- I liked it how Ewing Oil Security waits until JR is practically outside his office before they call Lee Ann up.  It would be in line with the quality of their past work.  Maybe he is Jackie's brother or something. I'm not sure if he's just Ewing Oil security or building security. Either way, at least he's consistent.

- Carter's bribe to Ratagan was not very subtle.  If anything, he opens himself up to more trouble with bribery and threatening a police officer. Yup. But then Ratagan would have to answer some tough questions.

-  The camera seems very shaky in the scene in JR's office when he discovers Ratagan.

- JR tells Cally that he wants her unborn son.  How does he know that she is carrying a son? He must realize how strong his Y chromosome is.

- Cally told us last season that JR and her last made love in Pride and that is when she got pregnant.  This was right around the very middle of last season, right before Blackie and Stephanie were introduced to the plot.  It is now almost exactly half way through this next season and Callie still was not showing at all!!!   HOW MANY MONTHS is she supposed to be along?  11?  12?  At the very least, she was 3 or 4 months pregnant at the cliffhanger episode and it has to have been at least a month "Dallas time" since then.   This is almost as bad as when Donna was pregnant for most of the post-dream season and didn't show until maybe 3 episodes before she gave birth.  And I am willing to bet Callie will have the gift of the Ewing women and be in  perfect shape after her child's birth.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- I think if Mack got some of Rose's double vodka in his eye, it would probably hurt like crazy. Thus, it was pretty obvious that she was drinking water.

AHN Pam's corner:

- Why was LeeAnn sitting in J.R.'s office?  What business did she have in there?   She only signed an agreement to purchase Ewing Oil, she doesn't own it yet.   Therefore, I think she should have to wait in the lobby like anyone else.  I can't believe Sly let her in.  It must've been early and either no one was in (but then the offices should be locked and LeeAnn should not have a key yet) or Jackie was the only one in, this is definitely something she would do. Obviously it's just to ruffle JR's feathers, but a good point nonetheless.

- Bobby phones J.R. from Paris, two nits here.  The first I'm not sure is a nit, just an observation. Bobby calls from a pay phone, why didn't her call from his hotel?  Is he afraid his room may STILL be bugged? Second is definitely a nit.  He calls J.R. and by the establishing shot of Southfork it is definitely evening and we know this because J.R. is dressing for his engagement party.  When they show Bobby it is daylight, as in mid-morning or afternoon daylight. This is impossible.  Paris is 7 hours ahead of Dallas.  Even if it is 8pm in Dallas, it would be 3am in Paris, definitely dark and Bobby should be asleep. Well, the answer to your first question is that they didn't want to pay a hotel. And your second nit is absolutely correct.

-  J.R. invites LeAnn to his and Vanessa's engagement party, but I don't think he tells her where.  Does she just assume it's at the OBC?  She must since the budget will only allow for one restaurant set!

- I had to laugh when Carter gives Rose the dress he wants her to wear to the engagement party.  She tells him to just write 'whore' across the front so that everyone will know what she is.  Compared to the other outfits we've seen Rose wear in the past this is down right CONSERVATIVE!! Very true. I was wondering where her head is at.

- Budgets must be skimpy in the accessories department this season, Vanessa and Michelle are forced to carry the same purse! I didn't notice. Excellent nit.

- Who are the girls that are hanging around with John Ross and Christopher at the engagement party?  We rarely see kids other than John Ross and Christopher, especially girls!  Are they sisters of the flower girls from Bobby and April's wedding?  Are they their 'dates'?  Could that be the lovely Ivy with Christopher?? It's not Ivy. I suspect they may be daughters of cast members. Certainly they weren't cast for their attractiveness as young women.

- James gets slapped not once, but twice.  First by Cally at the OBC and second by Vanessa in the cycle shop.  Neither time does he get any sort of a hand print. He's got a tough jaw.

- I'm not sure about this.  I thought James had a tattoo in 'real life', at least that's how it seemed to me the day he went to get it.  If I remember correctly, when James had it drawn on a few episodes back, I could swear it was drawn on the right arm. Yet today, it's on his left! It WAS on the right arm. How am I missing this stuff?

- Vanessa asks J.R. to drop her off on his way to Cally's place.  How does J.R. know where Cally is living?  I was under the impression she moved out of April's since Michelle says she's moved her things in to April's place.  I can't imagine Cally would still be there.  I know this has been mentioned before, but it's irritating.   I am also under the assumption that J.R. is dropping Vanessa off at James' shop, but maybe he dropped her off at her hotel.  If not, how exactly does she plan to get home?  Does she plan to ask James for a lift after she smacks him? These are good questions. I think there have been a LOT of cuts. A shame.

- J.R. finds Cally in the parking garage of where ever she is living, which I still don't understand how he knows where that is, she is packing her car.  It's amazing that she can get ALL her belongings in to THAT car!  It's a convertible, she must have very little trunk space.  I only saw her put one, maybe two bags in the back seat.   It seems Cally has a lot of clothes, and I would also assume art supplies. I guess she lost the art supplies [it's a rule that a Ewing wife must give up any business stuff she owns at the end of each season]. Maybe she's planning to have some stuff sent for.

- During Cally and J.R.'s divorce hearing, the attorneys and the judge all refer to them as Cally Harper-Ewing and J.R. Ewing.  Really they should be referred to as Calpurnia Harper-Ewing and John Ross Ewing II since these are their LEGAL names. JR is actually John Ross Ewing Jr, but this is a good point.

AHN Mike's corner:

- Tough job Cliff has as head of the ORC. When he goes to hide his whiskey glass in his briefcase, it is apparent the briefcase is empty.

AHN Analise's corner:

- While Lee Ann is in JR's office we see her look at JR's portrait which Cally paints for him. But wait! Cally's signature is still showing on the lower left hand corner.   Last season, JR had crossed it out with a marker of the EXACT same color as the background!  But today the signature was showing!  What's up with that? The marker was not EXACT, but quite close. Excellent nit!

- At the party, Vanessa said goodbye only to John Ross and to Christopher.  She didn't say goodbye to the girls they were with.  For a lady who is supposed to be prim and proper, she was most definitely rude! Yes. But frugal. If the girls talk, they have to be paid.

- Who cares about flashbacks of when Michelle met Lee Ann?  It couldn't have been that long ago.  And what was up with that hair extension braid that Lee Ann sported?   So Lee Ann's hair was supposed to have been longer?  Michelle should then have commented on her hair cut! I care. I was really confused the last time I saw this because I wasn't sure when we were in the Bahamas and when we were in Dallas.

- JR's slacking.  When he tells Lee Ann to leave his office he says that she does not own the company yet.  2 seconds later he practically begs like a child for her to sell the company to him!  He just contradicted himself. Excellent call.

- When Cally saw where James was taking her, even as she entered the OBC for JR's engagement party, why didn't she just leave? I guess she was enthralled by her idol Vanessa.

- The hair style budget must be dropping.  Cally's bangs were on her eyes.  How can she see?  It is most uncomfortable, believe me I know! You're right. I've wondered this for a while.

- Funny, with the exception of John Ross and Christopher, there was no other family member at JR's engagement party.  It certainly is a far cry from when Ellie said years earlier that the Ewings always stick together which makes them unbeatable!  How sorry Dallas had become....No wonder this was the last season.

- When McKay was arrested, the police officer did not finish reading McKay his Miranda rights.  He stopped as he was walking to the car. This is a huge mistake!   McKay's lawyers could have had a field day with this and gotten McKay freed based upon this serious mistake the police made.  But since we have inept writers, we won't see smart lawyers! Obviously not. Where's Sam Waterston when you need him?

AHN Alett's corner:

- A name nit - shouldn't  De La Vega be written "de la Vega"? I know a Cuban family that uses the lower case letters, so that's why I'm wondering. I believe you're right. I've seen both, actually, but the lower case letters are correct.

- That grease stain on the back of James's shirt looks like a tire tread mark. Is that how the garage tests to see if the bikes are fixed? Run over James? It would be consistent with the rest of his life.

- Just when I thought I'd never have to see that boat on the Seine again, there it is in the background during Bobby's call home.  The nit is it mysteriously disappears.   It's moving slowly enough that we should see it go under the bridge. Didn't notice. Thanks for pointing it out.


# 344 Lock, stock, and Jock

Bonehead dialogue of the day: [courtesy of me]

>Bussey: "The jury will have a hard time believing anything [Rose] says - especially what's true and what isn't."
But I'm sure they'll believe the rest of it.

Angelica Award: Liz's multilayered white dress that made her look like a white Christmas tree without the lights. Nominated by Mike.

From Ellen Lichtenstein: How long has Michelle been in the Caribbean? Realistically a month at most. She left shortly before Bobby and April's wedding. However yesterday the writers seem to suggest it's been far longer. I believe this will come up again with Barbara Eden's guest stint.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Is a taped conversation admissible in court if neither men were aware it was being taped? Yes. The police can't do this to you because it would be entrapment, but a private citizen can. You can sue that person in civil court if you like.

- I could be wrong but the tape seemed to sound different AGAIN!  It sounded much more rushed, especially about "Carter's taste in furniture". It was definitely rushed, like they cut out the pauses in between dialogue.

- Who is this new Sue at the Oil Baron's?  What happened to Debbie? (For that matter, what ever happened to Cassie?) Sue makes less money.

- Did anyone notice that Phyllis, Sly and even Kendall were in today's episode but Jackie (the producer's daughter) was AWOL?  Strange. She must have had personal things to deal with.

- The picture of the dead people shows (what looks like) Jordan Lee holding a woman but this woman (whose face is turned from the camera) is not mentioned when Bobby's PI goes through the dead people's ID's.  Is it Evelyn? No idea.

AHN Mike's corner:

- Whomever pointed out that James' tattoo has suddenly shifted shoulders is correct. In the original tattoo scene it was on the right shoulder - now it's on the left. Jason and I believe a camera angle was reversed or something.

- An empty bottle of J. Darby (liquor) sits on Cliff's floor. Is there no end to his cheapness? He's a friggin multi-millionaire and he's drinking cheap booze. Not just cheap, but a brand I never heard of. Got to be the cheapest sh*t on the shelf!

- Cliff hires a fiddler, acoustic guitar and banjo. So who's playing the electric guitar and bass we hear in the sound track? i smell a Milli Vanilli-like scandal. And Dallas budget cuts must have hit the taco stand vendor, since the stand is there but he isn't. I didn't hear guitar, but then I wasn't listening very closely.

- And speaking of tacos, the guy who plays Bussey is a great actor. He eats an entire jalapeno pepper during his scene with Liz and never flinches once. Hope they got that in one take. I'm sure they did. Probably the one he picked out was a pickle.

- What was that reference by Liz to Cliff to "forget the hot dog bun"? Double entendre? Anti-safe sex message? Seems to me the proper PSA would have been to tell Cliff never to forget the bun when using his hot dog. Lori Stiemke reminds me that Cliff's first ring was in the middle of a hot dog bun.

- A Theresa sighting! How did the budget manage that? Obviously her budget for haircuts was nixed.

AHN Alett's corner:

-Those prison blues fit McKay better than his suits.  George Kennedy must be feeling frequent deja vu this season.  First all that "Charade" stuff in Paris with fond memories of his hook-hand villain in that movie.  Now "Cool Hand Luke"!

- I like Buck Taylor's Bussey - hat-hair and all.  Finally a cop who actually acts like a cop.  My only nit with him is he didn't even have to unscrew the lid on those chili peppers.

AHN Analise's corner:

- JR looks like a helpless sap when Lee Ann informs him that the sale of Ewing Oil had already taken place.  You would think Bobby would have informed him.  When I was with MCI everybody from janitor to CEO knew the exact date of the closing of the sale of MCI Corp to Worldcom. Seems like the writers were at it again with their complete lack of business acumen and consequent turning of JR into the business fool.

- Oh, how can the sale of Ewing Oil be complete without the signature of Bobby Ewing? He was away from Dallas.  His signature and not some power of attorney must be on the final contract of sale.  It can't be if he is out of town.  Again, what's up with the writers? Perhaps he left it in the hands of Harve. But I'm sure you're right.

- One more thing about JR.  I know I am harping but details like this bug me.   Why does JR simply accept Lee Ann's hand out of 10%??  Why didn't he ask for more?  The old JR would have secured at least 25% ownership considering Lee Ann admitted that she actually NEEDED him.  The JR of the good ole days got 25% ownership of Harwood Oil.  Why not the same if not more for the former Ewing Oil???  Again he's slacking! He has a plan. He figures that if he does this "good boy" act for Lee Ann, he'll have an opening to get more. It's easier to deal with it after he's done it.

AHN Pamela's corner:

- How did J.R. get in to the cycle shop when he grabbed James?  James said he left the door unlocked for Vanessa, did he not lock up after she left?

- You would think with all of Bobby's money he and Christopher would've had a much better picture taken together than that unflattering one of them in the pool that Bobby pulls out of that box at Southfork.  I dare say I thought we were once again going to have to hear that annoying sax music when he found April's pic! PHEW....we escaped that one!

- Today J.R. learned his manners and Lee Ann seemed to forget hers.  When Lee Ann tells J.R. to pour himself a drink, he ask her if she'd like one AND knows her choice of beverage.  Yet when Lee Ann pours herself a drink earlier in the episode she doesn't even offer J.R. one.  I had such high hopes for her.

- McKay didn't want to mention the woman's name he was with on tape because she was very important in the state of Texas.  Who is this Janine person? How important is she?   We've never seen her before and then they don't even tell us who she is.  This is totally stupid. It was very weird. I didn't like this becasue it left so many things in the air. He mentioned to Rose that he met the woman because she was interested in buying Weststar, but they make it look like they were shagging or something. I don't get it.

- Liz hangs up the phone after her adolescent conversation with Cliff and takes a sip of her coffee. If the dectective hadn't shown up was she just going to sit there in silence?   No music?  No T.V.?  Weird. Some people like the quiet. I don't, but some people do.

- That detective is so RUDE!!!  He comes in to Liz's hotel room for another round of pointless questions and takes a pepper out of the jar!  He didn't even ask!

- Bobby had to make one of the dumbest comments when he finds out that Liz and Cliff are engaged. "So I can assume everything is alright?"  DUH!!  I would think so!!  Cliff is there, they've obviously 'enjoyed each other's company' by the way Liz is dressed (when did he decide not to be such a gentleman anyway?) and Liz has an engagement ring.  Bobby what was your first clue that everything was alright? Good one.

- I was right about the budget in the accessories department being skimpy this season!   Today Lee Ann is carrying the SAME purse that Vanessa and Michelle carried in yesterday's episode. It'll be interesting to see how long this continues.

-  No cheesy braid today in Lee Ann's 'flashback'. She must've gotten her hair cut.   In today's 'flashback' she is sporting the so unattractive 'Madonna bow in the hair look' which is much too young for her.  Michelle has no manners either, she didn't even notice Lee Ann's new do in the 'flashback'. Perhaps this pleasantry was got out of the way earlier, before the camera joined the conversation.


# 345 "S" is for Seduction

Bonehead dialogue of the day: [courtesy of Alett and Pam]

>Rose about McKay: "He's not a bad person."
(First she pointed out he was her pimp.  Then after this statement she says she thinks he was capable of killing Dancer.  What exactly is a bad person, Rose?)

Angelica Award: Keats' wacky shirt when he gets stung.

- Here's another one that made me check the map. Midland happens to be in the next country to Odessa. So why is it that Bobby took Liz and FLEW to Midland, but DROVE to Odessa with Michelle? This seems totally ridiculous.

- Carter's lawyer is wholly and utterly incompetent. He should have objected to Rose's outburst about Carter as soon as she opened her mouth their shenanigans. It's so lame to expect the jury to listen to the judge telling them to ignore what she said, after she said it. Where's Scotty Demarest when you need him?

From Robert Trimble: When Bobby is taping Keats, he opens the briefcase to reveal a tape recorder without the record or play button pushed so the tape isn't turning. And next to the tape recorder is a ni-cad battery charger with an AC cord! C'mon people lets spend a little more time picking and using the props.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Bobby was pretty weak with Keats in his first meeting. He didn't even attempt to threaten him by 'tearing him apart.' A shame. I think that was reserved for the Pam days.

- Vanessa and Michelle apparently met last season but I don't remember when. Does anyone out there know? I certainly don't. In reviewing the summaries from last season, it's clear that James and Michelle didn't even get introduced until AFTER Vanessa left Dallas.

AHN Alett's corner:

- That opening shot of the empty bathroom lasted 11 seconds before we see Bobby.   Annoying and unnecessary.  It didn't exactly create suspense.  It's about time Sheree showed up to justify being in the opening credits. I just shook my head as soon as I heard the sax music.

- That courtroom sketch artist can only see the back of McKay's head, yet he's drawn his face, picturing McKay  smiling!  It looks more like something McKay commissioned rather than how distraught he is. I didn't notice the face.

- Maybe it will be revealed later, but what happened to the gun?  Cliff does use a handkerchief to wipe his prints off the door nob, but he doesn't do this to the gun.   It also looks like he didn't take it with him, but I don't remember the police even talking about the weapon used. I imagine the police didn't get clear prints from the gun, because Cliff's and Johnny's would be all over it. That's assuming they checked, of course - police on the show are notoriously incompetent.

- Man, those photos of James and Shelly all look like studio stills.  Several are repeated, and one seems to be from the time she went looking for an apartment.  The two of them were alone, so who took the picture?  A friendly Japanese tourist I suppose. I imagine so. Maybe Inagaki?

- Michelle shows Vanessa a photo album  full of pictures of her and James.  How long were these two together?  A couple of weeks at the most. Come on.  I don't even have a full photo album of my family!

AHN Val's corner:

- Among other things, JR proposed that LeeAnn sell him the building. Wait a minute. Ewing Oil doesn't own the building...they never did. They merely rented office space there. Quite correct.

- Cordless phones have come a LONG way since 1990. The one Vanessa was using was big and clunky compared to my bargain-basement discount store phone. I had one at the time, and it WAS that clunky.

- At McKay's trial, the prosecuting attorney was named Mr. Carter. He was constantly being referred to as just "Carter". Man, that was confusing. It was so hard to tell who the judge was yelling at.

- Paul Keats was driving Holly Harwoods' old Rolls Royce.

- JR pronounced LeeAnn's last name "Della Vega". It should have been "Day-LA Vay-Gah". Sure. Except in Texas.

AHN Analise's corner:

- Notice how McKay and his attorney both had the same pose in the opening shot in court?   Both had their right pointer finger on their nose.  How odd.

- Loved the mention of the Savings and Loan which Hillary Taylor was involved in.   Gee sounds like another Hillary... Sorry, you'll have to give me some detail...OH! I get it now. Although this was rather prescient, wasn't it? It was early 1991 and few people had even heard of Hillary Clinton, outside of Arkansas.

- Yuck, Liz first kissed Cliff when he had chinese food in his mouth. Why is Liz in love with Cliff?  Yuck. While I won't argue the points, they're not really nits. But they both disgust me.

- Why isn't JR buying Westar stock???  With McKay accused of murder, the price of Westar stock must be plummetting.  JR should be buying it by the barrel.  But he is not, must be those stupid writers. And when JR heard that McKay was found guilty, he definitely should have bought Westar stock.  The price is dropping as we speak.

- I like the close up of Michelle with the eyedrops.  Oh and the prop master did a great job with the instant photo album.

- "Oh I'm sorry I am a terrible host" says Michelle talking to Vanessa. No Michelle, while you may not be a lady, you are a female.  Therefore she should have said 'hostess'. Excellent.

- Cliff is way too insecure.  He could have waited to see Liz when she returned.   And Liz....Liz should have stayed with Bobby.  Liz arrived at Cliff's the next morning.  We see daylight.  She told Cliff she would see him tonight!  How long could it have taken her to return? There are planes.  How odd. There obviously are planes, since Bobby talks about flying to Midland. But I'm assuming they took a private jet or something, and Liz wouldn't have been able to take it back to Dallas, right? So this is plausible.

- Oh, and Liz rushed back so quickly that she had time to get a new hairstyle!  Good thing Cliff was so messed up that he didn't notice that she didn't "rush" back.

- The close up of Cliff saying that he's guilty shows him wearing a huge gold ring.   Where did that come from?

AHN Pamela's corner:

-  How does Liz get in to Southfork?  What an odd place for her to wait for Bobby, at the bottom of the staircase. Well, she must have used some of that government training to get past the crack security [snicker].

- Bobby apologizes to Liz for forgetting his manners. Why now, it didn't bother him a few episodes when he didn't offer Michelle a drink.

- Bobby has really been dipping in to the Ray Krebbs wardrobe collection lately.   Exactly how many times have we seen him in jeans, a work shirt and that jacket?   It's getting old.  Besides, he doesn't need the jacket.  According to McKay's calendar a few episodes back, it was June.  IT can't be any later than maybe July.  Isn't it about 100 degrees or more in Dallas this time of year?  He must be roasting!

- When they show the establishing shot of Bobby and Liz's hotel in Midland it looks very familiar.  Isn't it the same hotel that Bobby, Pam, J.R., Sue Ellen and the boys stayed in L.A. during the whole B.D. Calhoun thing?  Or is it the hotel that Angelica and Grace stayed in during the dream season? I actually thought it was the hotel Bobby stayed in when he was in Laredo trying to free Jenna.

- McKay must've had the fastest arrest/trial/conviction in history!!  He was arrested what, a week ago maybe two at best.  He's been to trial??  Puhleeze! It takes months to get a court date! This trial also only appeared to take about a day or two.   There's no way that both sides could present their entire case AND get a verdict from the jury in this amount of time.  This is absolutely pathetic.

- I don't understand how this Keats guy got away with everything he did.  He'll blab his entire life story, in great detail to the first woman who pays the least amount of attention to him.  His brains are definitely in his pants! Most definitely. Although I must say if I had Jill where she was, I'd spill my guts too.

- In reference to the nit I made on the day the hotel maid found Johnny's dead body.   I mentioned that his body seemed very erect when the maid found him.  I thought he should've been slumped over.  I would've assumed that the killer, Cliff, wouldn't have taken the time to prop him up.  He didn't, so I believe Johnny should've at least slumped over a little bit tho he didn't appear to be sitting quite as straight as in the day the maid found him.  Also, I could swear when the maid found him, not only was he sitting straight up, but his head was up also, maybe leaning on the back of the couch.  In today's flashback Johnny's is hanging down.  Some consistency would've been nice here. No, his head was hanging down. That much I remember. Of course, I think it could be correctly argued that Johnny's body and head should have been slumped further. But at least it seems fairly consistent.


# 346 Designing Women

Bonehead dialogue of the day: Nothing that really stood out. I'll reconsider some suggestions.

Angelica Award: Michelle's backless dress. Nominated by Jason and Val.

- Just a note: the District Attorney in this episode reminds me a lot of crotchety Steven Hill from "Law and Order". I was expecting to hear the jail door closing during the scene cut.

- Ordinarily, I don't point out things that are "convenient" as long as they reasonably forward the plot. But today's convenient occurrence bothered me. James gets sent out to fix Michelle's motorcycle. Obviously, the writers have to do this in order that the two will meet. But what bothers me is this: since James hasn't been working there long, why would he be the one to go out and do a mobile fix? Ordinarily, a more senior and skilled person should be assigned to do this kind of work, while James should really be an in-house guy.

From Joe: James must be a pretty good mechanic. He apparently only needs a screwdriver, or at least very few tools. His toolbox clearly didn't have anything in it when he went on a call to fix Michelle's bike. He was whipping it around like it was his lunch box. I know James is this supposed stud, but when he handed it to Michelle, SHE grabbed it like it was the morning paper. Hmmm. Maybe Michelle's the real stud.

AHN Jason's corner:

-  Jackie's new brown hair is quite a drastic change.

- Has anyone else noticed a parallel between Carter and Rose and JR and Sue Ellen?   In the beginning, both SE and Rose were wishy washy and pretty pathetic. Then they start to rebel against their abusive husbands and become stronger and more independent.   Now Rose is starting to look down right pretty and is a force to be reckoned with.   I love the way she stands up to Carter.  Go Rose! I did notice that. It's very interesting how their relationship has changed. Of course, Mack is so lame compared to JR that it's a reach, but the similarity is there.

- When Cliff came on board Ewing Oil it was said that he had a bigger office than JR.   (There was some Freudian bragging about this.)  Then Cliff left and James came in, so James had a bigger office than JR.  Then James left and Lee Ann bought the company so she took over JR's old office and JR moved into James'.  So now JR finally has the big office and he isn't even
in control of the company!!!!! That is interesting. I think the writers chose to ignore it after the Freudian banter.

AHN Val's corner:

- My biggest nit today occured during Bobby's fantasy of him and April bringing their baby home from the hospital. First the baby's name. Janine Robin Ewing? Obviously, her initials are gonna be JR. I have named babies, and when doing so, one must be aware of what their child's initials might spell out. Why on earth would Bobby fantasize about naming his daughter that? Totally a gag. I don't understand why Patrick Duffy loves to do this. He gave his company [Petro Group Dallas] his initials; he did this; he used his son's name in JR Returns...I don't get it.

- Second, when Christopher asked April if he could hold the baby, why didn't she make him sit down first? Any child who has (presumably) never held a baby before should sit on a large, comfortable surface, such as a couch. Then, if said child loses his grip on the baby, she doesn't fall far.

AHN Analise's corner:

- The first scene of Caracas is a reused picture of the hotel in Los Gatos during Pam's dream.  Puhleez

- How does the District Attorney know that Rose McKay left the country? I have no idea. Especially since she didn't. It's possible he was just lying.

- Why did JR have Jackie call Cattlemen's bank and not ask for Franklin Horner?  I thought no one else serviced the Ewings. They laid the smackdown on that fuddy-duddy. Don't you remember? After the Wes Parmalee thing, JR said he'd never do business with Franklin again.

- Did you see that card key??  Those holes were huge!  They don't make them like that now!  Gee, I miss regular metal keys that hotels used to have. That was really weird. I'm totally not used to such keys.

- The Oil Baron's is the only club that caters in Dallas?  I thought Dallas was a big city! It is. Did someone say it was the only club that caters?

- Michelle certainly does not miss April that much if she can spend the time to plot with LeeAnn to get JR. Obviously not.

- When Vanessa entered Southfork and when she entered the hotel hallway, she made turns in direct right angles.  This is odd.

- Vanessa with her British sultry accent says farewell to JR and lets him know that she is returning to Vienna, she says "Au revoir my darling." This is FRENCH.  I guess Auf wiedersehn doesn't sound as romantic and bitter sweet?   This was stupid.  When has Vanessa spoken one word in French? Could have something to do with the fact that they met in Paris.

- Last nit about Vanessa.  She was pushing JR for him to keep Ewing Oil, then she leaves him saying that she is a possessive woman who needs his attention on her only and not to Ewing Oil. Maybe this was an allusion to his wandering eye.  I don't know.  The writers don't seem smart enough to write affective allusions. Anyway, this seemed like she forgot all about JR's dreams. It's a good point...but frankly, if anything will get rid of Vanessa, I'm all for it.

- When Michelle says that her document is legal, it's notarized...she was being redundant.   If it is notarized, it is legal!  Writers are stupid. Yes they are. Certainly none of these guys interviewed for "Law and Order".

- McKay briefly glances at the document Rose laid out for him as she pointed a gun to him, and he immediately saw the amount!  He must have great eyes!  Or else the document was mostly blank. A number as big as Rose must have asked for must have caught the eye.

- LeeAnn Nelson!! Gotta love it.  I Dream of Jeannie. For sure.

AHN Pamela's corner:

>Is it my imagination or is Lee Ann's blue dress similar, if not the same, as the one Cally wore to the attorney's office when she poses as the ditzy Texas wife?? It's possible. I'll have a look.

- McKay got a release from prison as in record time!! A la Jenna '85!  Why not, look how quick his trial and conviction happened, it's only right that his release should be just as quick.

- Bobby had another one of his 'token' appearances today.  About 60 seconds an episode lately.  What's up with that??  At least we weren't subjected to that pornoesque sax music again today. Yes, that's fortunate. Patrick Duffy must have really been taking a rest.

- When LeeAnn fed J.R. the lie about going to pick up her sister-in-law at the airport, she didn't even grab her purse to make it look good.  What happened to the floating purse that kept making the rounds this week? Excellent nit.

- I think LeeAnn's sale of 'Ewing Oil' to Michelle happened even faster than when she purchased it from Bobby.  I doubt the ink on that sale is even dry yet. They must have their lawyers working around the clock. They don't need lawyers in this case, because it's a private sale with no conditions. Lee Ann is happy to give everything to Michelle. It was probably for a token dollar.


# 347 90265

Bonehead dialogue of the day: [courtesy of Pam]

> "I thought they (the realtor) might have left a key with you." - Bobby to Jory

Ummm......no.....that's why they put up a SIGN with a PHONE NUMBER!  Get a clue!

Angelica Award: Take your pick of Michelle's suit with the dollar signs or Liz's gaudy hat from the Angelica/Vanessa collection. Sly's "Princess of Persia" outfit was also mentioned.

- When Liz and Bobby are talking about Hillary Taylor's properties, Bobby seems to react to what Liz is saying before hearing about the "beach house in Malibu".

- JR asks Sly to look for new offices now that Ewing Oil is no longer available to them. Why don't they get their old offices at JRE Enterprises?

- Jory comments that Bobby hasn't taken his wedding ring off. I wasn't paying attention, perhaps, but it just got me thinking: did he ever take PAM's wedding ring off?

- When the new "family" gets together in the livingroom, James comments that's it's almost 6 PM and time for dinner. Wait a minute: JR just came home a few minutes ago and it was DARK. A few days ago, we saw Carter check his calendar and see that it is currently June of 1991 in Dallas. So in the middle of the summer, at 6 PM, it's dark in Dallas? Uh, no.

AHN Val's corner:

- Why did Michelle fire Sly and Phyllis, but not Jackie and Kendall? Jackie is the incompetent slug of the bunch, and Kendall had a previous...um...involvement with her new husband. I think Jackie wasn't there; or perhaps because she's already planning to bring James in with Jackie as their secretary. And Kendall's just a receptionist. I doubt she knows about her liaison with James.. For the record, EVERYONE else pointed it out too.

- Sly was quick to seduce JR. Wait a minute!!! I thought she was going out. Dressed as she was, I'd think she was meeting someone.....perhaps a MAN!!!!! Definitely a man. But I guess she decided to go the easy way. It was probably that lame-o Biff anyway..

- There's the Ford Mustang again!!!! Now Bobby's driving one in Malibu. I'd bet that Dallas had a deal with Ford on use of this particular car. This should be toted. Mitch, Afton, Tommy, Sly, James, and Bobby all drove Mustangs at some point during the series. Cousin Jimmy Monahan may have had one, too. I'll find out in a few weeks.

- James came to the dinner table in his undershirt. I'd like to see him try to get away with that at Southfork. At this point, I think he could pull it off.

- Bobby told Jory that he's going to the store...as in FOOD SHOPPING?!?! I so wish they would have shown that, complete with a wobbly-wheeled grocery cart. Do they have those in LA? I would have thought they used Gucci carts or something.

- Christopher told JR that if James and Michelle had a baby, JR would be a Grandpa, and he would be an uncle. Incorrect, Christopher. John Ross would be the uncle. Chris would merely be the second cousin....or something.  He'd be a second cousin once removed. In my family, such a person would still be called an uncle.

AHN Alett's corner:

- I hate these goofy camera angles like the one circling Bobby and Liz while they're on the sofa talking.  It makes it look like some midget is spying on them, and detracts from what they are saying.

- Again Sly yells rather than just look through the peephole.  Man, I have lost all respect for Sly for her "servicing" JR and getting paid for it. I respect her. I still remember the number she did on that hopeless farmer a few seasons ago. :)

- Either James told Shelly about how he drugged Sly, or this is just a sign these two are meant for each other. Definitely. Except that I don't understand why Shelly drugged James to do....nothing with him.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- The whole notion of Barbara Eden (sorry...Miss de la Vega) selling Ewing Oil to Michelle for a fragment of its value is absurd. Obviously Leeann didn't pay full price when she bought it from Bobby, but to sell it for a tenth of what it is worth seems highly unlikely. She may be rich, but she likely wouldn't be this frivilous. Obviously she's so rich that it doesn't matter. I leave it to the rest of us to decide whether this is realistic or not.

- James use of the word "stalwart" doesn't really seem consistent with his character. How about "loyal"? "Blushing" is not really a word to describe Michelle, either.

- The whole thing with Michelle throwing the glass at the door was poorly done. She winds up to throw it, and just before she releases it cuts to James closing the door. It's at least a few seconds before the glass actually hits. Kind of weird. I thought it was a bit delayed too.

AHN Analise's corner:

- Look at Liz's ring finger.  It shows her wearing 2 rings!  An engaged woman only wears an engagement ring on that finger.  What's with the 2nd ring?  A quickie wedding?

- Michelle throws a glass at a closing door.  Who does she think will clean it up?

- Bobby must have great connections at the rental car companies.  Do you know how hard it is to rent a convertible? I know how tough it is. Good call. This must be another "look, pal, I'm Bobby Ewing" thing..

- Is Bobby overdressed or overly hot?  Everyone is in their bathing suits!  He is in a long sleeve shirt and jeans.

- Why does Bobby assume that the young girls would have access to the house which is for rent?  What real estate agent would trust them? Excellent call. Several others pointed this out too..

- What the heck did Michelle use to pour the bottle of wine?  Can't she do it without that gizmo?

- In order to live on the beach, is a bathing suit a prerequisite? It is on this show, where we men are totally starved for babes. [Jory doesn't make up for this at all, BTW.]

- When James is told by his boss that he had a guest, he revs up his engine and drives to him.  But he is in a garage.  Isn't that a safety hazard?  Too much carbon dioxide? I thought that was weird too.

- If James is tired of being a Ewing, why not return to Vienna!  We all would be grateful. Agreed.

- Why is Bobby holding Jory's hand so soon while walking on the beach? He seems to be leading her on. Most definitely.

- Is Bobby in Malibu because the producers needed to do an on location shoot and Malibu was close by and cheap? Yes. Same thing happened in 1989, when the budget ran out and Sue Ellen "suddenly" decided to go to California for the movie shoot. That was all done at Larry Hagman's house. Clearly these are not the same houses, but they're probably owned by someone who's involved with the show.

AHN Mike's corner:

- When did Bobby tell Jory he was writing a book? When did John Ross get sick and what does he have? We missed those things.

- James delivers one of the classic lines of the entire series and proves a worthy JR heir when Michelle doffs her clothes and asks "What do you think?" and he replies "I think you've gained weight." Ouch!! That was rough.

- In Michelle's apartment, James' hair is so oily it actually reflects the camera lights at certain angles. Larry Hagman's face looks much thinner and less bloated. Has he stopped drinking at this point? He looks years younger too. He stopped drinking at some point late in the series. In a few episodes, they work that into the storyline.

- Great,we finally get rid of the April sax music and now we have new Malibu sax music to deal with. It's not as annoying as April's tune.

- Dana's limo has a huge dent in the passenger door. Why didn't TNN cut her meaningless (and overlong scene) instead of other more critical scenes? I don't know how you would really use the word "critical" to describe any of this stuff. I'd be willing to bet that this was one of the better scenes.

AHN Jason's corner:

-  I am kinda shocked JR would bad mouth Pam in front of Christopher. He sort of said it under his breath.

-  I am a bit confused about Michelle's revenge.  She states that she originally did it to get back at Bobby but at the time she and Lee Ann met and plotted this, she had no reason to hate Bobby.  (That happened after April died and was buried in Paris.) For that matter, I didn't realize she was still mad at Bobby. She's not mad at Bobby any more. I think that Lee Ann was the one who first wanted revenge, and then after the April thing, Michelle became more actively involved.

- James's shirt looks really clean for a grease monkey coming home from work. Yes it does. Must have been a really light day.

- Where the heck is Lucy?  I know that she went to Europe last season but that was MONTHS ago and her trip seemed like it was only supposed to be for a short time.  I mean, at least mention something like "She decided to stay and run a gallery there."  This is worse than Ellie b/c at least they mention her. Out of sight, out of mind.

- I noticed that the Ewing Oil sign was put back up awfully fast but Michelle's office door still had Lee Ann's name on it. Good catch!

AHN Pam's corner:

- J.R. said to Bobby "Do you see all those pictures, those are all people who used to live here".  What pictures?  He points towards the fireplace, but we don't actually see ANY of the pictures.  I wonder just exactly how many former wives would've been up there. Hey, maybe Miss Ellie had two pics, one of her as BBG and the other during her plastic surgery as Donna Reed! Quite probably. I think the reason they didn't show any pictures is to avoid paying royalties. If you show a person's face, you have to pay them.

- This is totally ironic.  Bobby wears a suit to a bar, but yet he wears jeans to the office?  This makes no sense.  He would never wear a suit to the Longhorn. Good thing he didn't have to 'tear anyone apart' he certainly wasn't dressed for it!

- It was lucky for Bobby that the house next door to Jory's just happened to be available for leasing.  I can't believe Bobby would be stupid enough to think the realtor would've left a key at Jory's house.  You would think he would've learned through his involvement with Jeanne that the realtor ALWAYS shows the house.  This is why they post a SIGN and then once it's sold/leased they get some type of a COMMISSION. Somehow when April died Bobby inherited her stupidity. He's becoming down right laughable lately. He's just trying to make conversation with Jory to find out who she is at this point but you're absolutely right. I can't believe I missed this whole bit.


# 348 Smooth Operator

Bonehead dialogue of the day: None.

Angelica Award: Not much to pick from, though I thought that Jory's black outfit was rather unflattering.

- Bobby tells Christopher that he's on the trail of the woman who caused April's death. Does this seem like a good idea? Is this the kind of example you'd want to set for your child? If someone hurts you, hunt them down and hurt them back?

- The scene at Ewing Oil bears a bit of scrutiny. Michelle asks Jackie whether James has checked in and then goes into a tirade against good old Derrick. Suddenly, Jackie is on the phone talking to someone. I didn't hear it ring; is she calling somebody? Strange.

- I'm really impressed that Sly was able to get JR his old office at JRE Industries! You go girl!

- Why is Liz hanging around the Oil Baron's Club so much? Apparently Cliff is somewhere else...does she like eating alone there? Where all the oil men can see her eating alone? Doesn't make sense.

- And of course, I would be remiss if I didn't point out that Bobby conveniently decides to circumvent the law again. He tells Jory about the two dudes who stopped by her place. Might have been nice if he had told the POLICE officers who were investigating. But I think you see where this is heading.

AHN Val's corner:

- JR's got a new car. WHY would TPTB shell out the dough for a new car so close to the end of the series. No idea. Maybe it's Larry's own.

- At home, JR asks for "bourbon on the rocks". What about the "branch", JR? It must have been a hot day...

- Sly rented office space in the same building as the now defunct JRE Enterprises. Yes she did! Smart girl. I commented yesterday that she should.

- Michelle told James that office hours are "from 10 to 5". No honest day's work, Shelley? She must like spending her mornings languishing at the Southfork breakfast table. This probably has to do with James' comment that she's putting on weight.

- Bobby's critiquing Jory's driving skills was good for a laugh. I'm sorry, but what does Bobby Ewing know about good driving? I guess anyone who doesn't peel out and triple-park can't be too bad. I think he's fine as far as driving goes. Parking is a problem, though.

- JR stated that he's gonna see how John Ross is feeling. This implies that he's sick. In yesterday's show, John Ross was sick, but on the mend. Today, he's sick again! What gives? Guess he had a relapse. Or, more likely, he caught cooties from Michelle.

- Christopher was credited, but didn't appear...except in a one-sided phone conversation with his dad. Yes. Very odd. Probably a scene at Southfork was cut.

AHN Alett's corner:

- I can't believe they used a miniature in the opening shot that pulls back from the Hollywood sign!  This is the ultimate in budget cuts since they're in California anyway.  I wonder if it was stock footage from some disaster movie. Are you sure about that? I wasn't looking that closely.

- John's "high concept" half-hour drama about a dwarf singing backwards and a woman who talks to logs sounds suspiciously like a slam to "Twin Peaks". It is Twin Peaks. Right down to the jelly donuts. [I watched Twin Peaks religiously. Madchen Amick is SO HOT. Lara Flynn Boyle and Sherilyn Fenn helped too.]

- Poor John Ross.  Still sick and even Theresa isn't around to check up on him.

- With Johnny Dancer's mobster past, I can't believe there is no one putting pressure on the DA to find his real killer.  I guess it's plausible a DA would sweep it under the carpet, but it's weird we still haven't heard from Cliff after his big confession. Well, actually, I think it might be easy for the DA to chalk it up to a mob-related crime.

- Even with her hair perpetually hanging in her eyes, Michelle is able to get off a good punch.  Man, she didn't even break a nail!

- As a widowed parent, it's pretty impressive Hillary Taylor is able to get that Yale degree.

- It's about time JR got back to being a randy blackmailer.  It's pretty much by-the-numbers, but at least this is more fun to watch. Yes it is. It always has been. I just wish he had better people to send up.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- The whole "gas station as a metaphor for J.R's life" was quite heavy-handed. About as subtle as being beaten over the head with a stick. Quite so.

- When J.R. meets Michelle and James for pre-dinner cocktails, he says that it is 5:30. Hmmm...the sun must've set a lot earlier in 1991, because it was dark outside Southfork. Just as it was yesterday. They must have one of those Mr.Burns sun-blocking thingamajigs.

- I'm not the foremost expert on the California social scene, but I do know that Spago's is a very upscale restaurant (ie. not a place that would allow the likes of Johnny to dine there). Must be the other Spago's - on the lower west side or something. [Kidding.]

- Poor Omri. I don't know what's worse: the fact that he's NEVER on the show anymore, or this incredibly lame "John Ross is sick and conveniently off-camera a la Pokeroo from Polka Dot Door" cover. Weak. Super weak, if you will. He'll be back.

AHN Mike's corner:

- Am I the only one who was disappointed that the biker babe didn't get up and clean Shelly's clock? Nope. I was in the mood for a chick fight too.

- What was that well-worn book that JR was reading in bed when Shelly interupted him? Surely it wasn't the Bible. Nope. It's so rare when he's slept alone.

- Sometimes Jory looks about 16 years old and the whole thing with Bobby looks dangerously close to illegal. I though he black dress outfit with the leotards underneath qualified for an Angelica. She wears that to acting class? No wonder she can't get a job. Correct. I nominated this for the Angelica because it makes her look like a horse.

- It was bad enough Sly literally threw herself at JR two nights ago in a way out of character move. However, last night's Carmen Esperanza literally extorting sex from JR was beyond ridiculous. A rich, powerful, attractive woman like that can find plenty of sex in Venezuela. I find it hard to believe that JR is that attractive and his power is that much of an aphrodisiac. And my wife agrees.

AHN Jason's corner:

- The whole scene where John hides something in Jory's purse is so poorly executed it is laughable.  What guy insists that his lady put on her make up before they head out? Guys don't really care about lipstick. Exceedingly true. The whole thing was lame.


# 349 Win Some, Lose Some

Bonehead dialogue of the day: [courtesy of Pam]

> "You don't care about me!" - Jory to Bobby
OK, maybe in the beginning that was true, but he just shelled out $500,000 to save her life!  Exactly how much would he have to spend to show he cared?  A cool million maybe?  (I see her point, but this was still stupid)

Angelica Award: Liz's orange, olive & black sweater with it's matching orange coat.

- I have to correct something from yesterday. Apparently JR's new office is NOT the same one as JRE Industries. He doesn't have the big door to his office that he did before. My bad.

- An observation: Dee Dee is played by Eva LaRue, who you may know as Eva LaRue Callahan from All My Children. Small world.

- When Bobby goes to rescue Jory, he's wearing a jacket. At noon. In summer. In Los Angeles. As Jory would say, "you're not from around here."

- And of course, it's really nice how Bobby parked right next to a fire hydrant at LAX.

From Bill: I just saw a movie today "Laker Girls".  In this movie, Shari Shattuck (Kit) and them live in a beach house...the same one used by Jory in the last season...didn't know if anyone noticed or not.

AHN Pamela's corner:

- Christopher says that it's finally getting fun around here again and J.R. says "Yeah, just like the good old days".  Ummm....the only resemblance I see to the good old days is two people fighting in the pool and somebody pulling them out.  Anything else? Nope, that's about it. But that's good enough for me.

- Where is John Ross again today?  Is he still sick? If J.R. were a truly good parent, he should be a little concerned about this by now, this kid's been sick a few days.

- When Liz is talking to J.R. in his office, her hair is brushed fairly close to her face.   By the end of the conversation, her hair is brushed back farther off her face.   Also, her lipstick seems to be a little redder and darker than at the beginning of the conversation.  This must have been done in two or more takes, but they could pay a little more attention to continuity. Guess they didn't count on you watching her like a hawk. :)

- When Michelle questions J.R. as to why he didn't reprimand James for bringing DeeDee over, J.R. flatly tells her that it's simply because James is a blood Ewing and she is only a Ewing by marriage, so he has more rights.  Huh?  Excuse me, James is a HALF BREED, just like Ray Krebbs.  I wonder if would've defended Ray so adomantly to Donna, or even to Jenna if this situation had come up. That's a good question. I think the answer is no to Jenna, probably to Donna.

- When did Bobby get the gun?  I don't remember seeing him buy it.  I may have missed it. If not, when did he get it?  If he brought it from Dallas I can't imagine the airlines would allow him on a plane with a gun! Or could this be a "look, pal, I'm Bobby Ewing" thing?

- It was very convenient that those officers left their car windows down so Bobby could easily put the briefcase in to their car.  Do cops often leave their windows down?   It's also convenient that no one saw him.  It's not like they were in a deserted area or anything.  Also, how many people carry a CROWBAR in the back of a RENTED car!  I guess it's handy to have in case you have the need to open a briefcase full of cocaine.

-  Again, I am seeing visions of another rehashed storyline.  Liz selling her company to J.R. to help Cliff get the Energy Czar position bears a strong resemblance to the time Afton shagged that.....what was his name.....oh yeah, that sleazy Gil Thurman to get Cliff that big oil deal away from J.R. several seasons back. Definitely. The similarity was very striking. Except Liz doesn't roll into a ball afterwards.

- Michelle really irritates me.  She has no respect for herself let alone anyone else in the house.  It's bad enough for her to sneak in to J.R.'s shower.  But when he throws her out of his room and she's standing by her bedroom door and she drops her towel, that is just too much!  There are young children in the house! Imagine if John Ross or Christopher happened to walk out and see a naked Michelle standing in the hall! J.R. should've at least handed her a robe......of course, it may not have helped, she could've dropped that anyway.  Give it up Michelle, no one is interested in any of your body or your lack of charm and class! But you've gotta hold out hope if you're Shelly, don't you? She's gotta try and use what little assets she has. But you're right about being careful around the kids. Of course, since John Ross is laid up in bed, you only have to worry about Christopher. But clearly he wouldn't mind, since he used to walk in on his dad's shower once in a while.

AHN Mike's corner:

- One of the AHN's has a real pet peeve (and most of us agree) about how people on Dallas order or prepare food/drink and then walk away without touching it. Nobody caught the fact that Bobby made coffee for himself and Jory which neither touched, instead running off on their pawn shop adventure. Until you did. Thanks. Jason normally catches these but his computer is on the fritz.

- Bobby may have parked next to a hydrant at the airport but, incredibly, he parked legally and within the lines in front of the pawn shop. If I was a cop, I'd be pissed about that cliche of the cops pulling up and heading nto a donut shop.

- Liz's hair has turned a hideous auburn color and that hairstyle in her opening scene was the worst one yet. No question her orange coat ensemble wins the Angelica but a second place nod goes to Kendall's orange dress. This filming must have been around Halloween.

- Hypocrite award to JR while bawling out James and Michelle: Those time-honored family values he's espousing must only be operative within the property boundaries of Southfork. Oops, wait a minute, Don't I remember him bedding Afton upstairs at SF during a Ewing barbecue? That would make him a total hypocrite. He is a hypocrite - but it's okay if his target is the unlikable Michelle.

- Come on, confess. Didn't you find yourself secretly hoping that the kidnappers would off that little twit Jory and mercifully end this plotline? Yes.

- What a fright wig on Sly!!! The makeup people must have been ticked off at her make her look so bad.

AHN Jason's corner:

- The fact that Bobby and Jory keep the drug-filled briefcase in plain sight boggles my mind.  Aren't these people afraid of getting caught?  And it was really smooth of Bobby to drop it right in the police car.

- It's nice that Bobby cares so much for Kit's health that he went with her to the hospital but I think Jory was in more immediate danger.  It is rather insensitive of him to not even make an effort to try to rescue her when he finds out that she had just been taken. Tough call. It would be very un-Bobby-like to hand Kit a wad of cash and tell her to take a cab to the hospital, though.

- I think Cliff went way overboard by yelling at Liz like that.  I mean it is not like she slept with JR or anything and he got his precious Czar job. True. But you know what? At least in this episode I found Cliff and Liz to be INTERESTING. When was the last time that happened? Cliff is much better as a heel and a loser. It's a shame they have to turn whoever his partner happens to be into a pathetic jobber in order to achieve this.


# 350 Fathers and Sons and Fathers and Sons

Bonehead dialogue of the day: [courtesy of me]

> "If looks having anything to do with success, you two are going straight to the top."
The interviewer lady to James and Michelle. Sure.

Angelica Award: Bobby's multi-coloured cattle-driving coat. Nominated by Mike.

The Carter McKay Instant Tantrum meter: 1, with JJ Carter.

- Who is this new maid at Southfork? It certainly is not Theresa. And this new butler, who is credited as "Raoul". Uh, no. That's not Raoul. What gives here?

- When Bobby gets the boys ready for their horse ride, they're in the pool. John Ross tells Christopher that they should do "one more lap". Uh, not exactly, pal. One 'more' lap would imply that you did a PREVIOUS lap. Which you did not, since you just got into the water.

- Carter McKay tells Liz that "they should talk about Johnny Dancer". Liz responds, "Why would I want to talk about THAT?" However you feel about Johnny, he was human...sort of. So the correct pronoun to use here is "HIM", not "THAT".

- Yet another changed premise. Michelle decides to sell April's apartment, because she doesn't feel the sentimentality any more. But April owned the WHOLE BUILDING. What is the deal here? Either Michelle should sell the whole building, or she should rent or lease the apartment.

- Cliff tells Michelle he'll pick her up at 6:30 to go to the Oil Baron's Club. When we see them eating dinner, Michelle has changed from her white power suit into a pink cocktail dress. Three possibilities present themselves: first, Michelle keeps a pink cocktail dress and earrings handy at Ewing Oil in case she needs them. Second, Michelle went home to change and Cliff picked her up from Southfork to come back to Dallas. Third, Michelle left the office early to go and get ready. Unlikely, hard to believe, and shameful. In that order.

- Bobby must really love his Charlton Heston coat. Why is he wearing it in the middle of the day? It must be boiling! He did the same thing in Los Angeles last episode.

- How come James Jr. is blond? James is dark-haired, and Debra Lynn is a red head. That combination is extremely unlikely to produce a blond child. Impossible, in fact, since blonde hair is a recessive trait.

- And speaking of lil' Jimmy - it's a good thing he's REAL QUIET during his mother's conversation with JR, so that he doesn't give away the surprise too early. What a disciplined toddler.

From Robert Carlisle: Where did they get the rolling hills for the cattle drive? Were they herding the cattle from California back to Texas?  I have yet to see the arid rolling hills and valleys of Plano. Excellent point, Robert.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- Hmmm...McKay is no longer on the board at Westar? That's news to me. What gives? TNN edit or very poor writing? I think they mentioned this in passing last week. He was canned after the trial and subsequent conviction.

- Damn it, John Ross! That was your chance to stick it to Michelle! Oh how badly I wanted him to snap back "look (bitch!), I'm John Ross freakin' Ewing! I can snack whenever I damn well please!!". Too bad. It would have been interesting, that's for sure.

- Does Bobby really need to announce himself as "Bobby Ewing" to Liz Adams? That seemed awfully strange. Force of habit.

- It sure was convenient that when J.R and Bobby talked about the good ol' boys, they never made mention of Punk Anderson. Ah, casting budgets...and the things they make you do. It is very convenient.

AHN Mike's corner:

- With all the stock McKay controlled as CEO of Weststar and with the voting rights to Dusty's huge block of stock, how could the board have removed him from the company? Seems like he could have outvoted any ouster move. He seems almost bulletproof. And what reason was there to remove him? He was found not guilty. Even in corporate life, you are presumed innocent until proven guilty. With all due respect, not quite on both counts. He's the CEO and certainly he controls a huge bunch of stock. But realistically, no one person could own "most" [meaning more than 50%] of Weststar. Since Dusty's share was about 25% [according to some discussion last season], I would guess that McKay has about 30 to 35% or so. He could be ousted if enough people thought it was a good idea. And he was actually found guilty of the murder, even though the DA later had the decision reversed. We saw him waddle through prison, remember?

- Angelica award to Bobby's cattle drive coat of many colors. And boy wasn't that cattle drive gimmick lame? Not to mention the stupid harmonica background music while the brothers Ewing were philosophizing. And while JR was mentioning dead oil giants, he mentioned all of the original cartel except Andy Bradley. Do we know if he's still alive? Same with Punk Anderson. THAT WAS PATHETIC. They honestly can't find any other way to fill time? I would rather watch Konnan's video than that.

- Did you notice as Bobby finishes his conversation with JR while standing next to the horses that one horse jostles Bobby with his head and almost knocks him aside? No, I missed that. Thanks for pointing it out.

- Let's institute a Liz Adams dumb hairstyle award. In this episode she gets it for her dinner 'do with Carter McKay that featured the Elvis spitcurl on the forehead. Alas, it's a little late for that. She's only in two more episodes.

- Interesting parallel: James' marriage to Michelle and Cliff's live-in relationship with Michelle. No sex in either one in sitautions where there should be plenty of it. My theory: Michelle is frigid.

AHN Pam's corner:

- That interview with Michelle and James was so lame. I know the point was so that Debra Lynn would see it and come running to Dallas, but it was still stupid.  Michelle and James have only been running Ewing Oil for what, about five minutes?  I would think the guest list for this particular 'network' show would have already been established long before Michelle bought Ewing Oil. They must have added them at the last possible minute. Not they've accomplished ANYTHING since running the company. True enough. But it's not totally off the wall...I guess.

- Jackie actually mentions doing something today!! She claims she put together a contract for James, for what I don't know, but she put one together.  Good thing Michelle didn't fire her since James has come back. Michelle must have read the script. And I think the contract is about this great "deal" that James closed.

- Liz yells 'who is it?' when Bobby comes to the door.  Haven't these people learned to use the peep hole yet? Guess not. Good one.

- This is a HUGE nit.  After this little speech Bobby goes on to tell Chris that eventually he let his Uncle Gary and his Uncle Ray take over running the ranch and he went in to the office.  HEEEEELLLLLOOO!!!!!  Let's review a little DALLAS history shall we?  In the very first episode, it is stated by Bobby to Pam that he is a 'road man' ya know, the three B's.  At that point she talks him in to coming off the road and taking an executive position AT THE OFFICE. He didn't begin to go in to the office until AFTER he married Pam and by this point Gary had been gone for YEARS as Lucy tells Pam. We also never get the impression that Bobby ever ran the ranch before that point either.  So when exactly does he think he was going in to the office while Gary and Ray were running the ranch?  The writers really should've been more careful here, this is pretty major stuff. I obviously wasn't paying a whole lot of attention here because I missed this.

- Considering that Bobby, J.R. and James have been 'on the range' for about two days, all look very clean shaven.  Too bad they didn't take off their hats, I would've loved to have seen their 'hat head'. Perhaps they brought along personal Philishaves. Good point.

- Where did those pictures of April and Michelle come from that were sitting in April's condo?  I've never seen those before, how 'bout you? Nope. Not sure why April would have pictures of herself in her apartment. Pictures of herself with Bobby or Michelle, perhaps, but not just herself.

- That realtor seems to know an awful lot about Michelle's life! Why does she ask her if she'll be leaving with her?  Michelle owns the property, she can stay there as long as she likes. Quite correct. Perhaps another friend she met in the Bahamas.

- Cliff is so rude at the OBC!  He and the other guy give their drink orders, this is fine.  Then, the man is obviously talking to Cliff and Cliff is looking around the restaurant!  Cliff, look at people when they're talking to you, it's the polite thing to do!  I know this is done so he will spot Liz and McKay, but they should've staged it so that Cliff was facing that direction rather than making him look like a complete idiot by scanning the restaurant for no apparent reason.

- Christopher and John Ross come running out of the house playing with the ball and jump in to the pool.  Immediately Bobby comes out of the house and tells Christopher it's time to get dressed.  Didn't Christopher know this before he put on his swim trunks?

- It's been established several times that it's summertime. So why exactly is John Ross helping Christopher with his homework?  Also, if it's no longer summer and the boys are back in school, why is Bobby pulling Christopher out for a CATTLE DRIVE??
Isn't his education more important than this?  Even if the drive started on the weekend, it seems J.R. come back after about two days and says the rest of them won't be back for a couple of more days.  This would definitely take the boys in to the school week.

- J.R., James and John Ross ride out to find Bobby and Christopher.  If Southfork is a big enough place that they need to stay over night outside, how would J.R. know where to find them? Perhaps he knows the standard cattle drive route.

- J.R. rides out on horseback so why does he need his car to drive home and where does he pick it up?  I thought they could walk to the stables from the main house, is he that lazy?  Also, does he back in to the driveway, this is weird. I'm not positive whether this is one of his cars. Perhaps it's one of the "Southfork" cars that we see occasionally. Perhaps someone drove it out for him and he drove it back.

- J.R. tells Bobby that he's going back to Southfork first thing in the morning, which it looks like he does.  When he's talking to Debra Lynn he tells her that she's lucky because he's feeling very generous TONIGHT?  Excuse me, exactly how long of a ride is it back to the main house?


# 351 When the Wind Blows

Bonehead dialogue of the day: [courtesy of Alett]

> Cliff outside Liz's door: "You said you wanted to talk. Let's talk."

I don't think so.  Liz hasn't wanted to see him at all.

Angelica Award: Liz's twenty-pound earrings. I'm amazed this woman can walk upright.

- Oh, my. Where to begin? Okay, let's start with the easy one. Cliff goes bonkers and decides he's going to break into Liz's hotel room. So he breaks down the door of Room 417. Uh, Cliff? May I point out that Liz has always been in Room 2402? That'll be twenty floors up, pal.
Elad Benari responds: I was reviewing my tape of Tuesday's episode and check this out: Remember the big controversy about how Cliff barged into 417 instead of 517 and you mentioned that Liz didn't even live in 517? Anyhow, when Liz kicks Cliff out of her room, she opens the door, and it's clearly marked on it: "417". I watched this 2 or 3 times to verify. Strange! Yes it is! Wow! An übernit!

- Yet again, James Jr. is really quiet in his playpen/crib. I'm really impressed. I'm sure my mother wishes I was that quiet at his age.

- The wide establishing shot of the cattle auction is definitely recycled stock footage from Episode 66, when Jock and Ray went to an auction of their own.

- I know I might be opening myself up to a smackdown by Val and other mothers, but I really think that Debra Lynn is overdoing it a bit. She asks JR to stay with the baby while she goes ACROSS THE ROOM to get his bottle. Across the room. Fifteen seconds. I shudder to think what might have happened had JR not been there...Jimmy might have done something terrible like...sit down. The horror.

- "Hey, Jory's back!", he exclaimed, tongue firmly in cheek. She's only got one scene, and she can't even quite get that right. When Hillary calls, Jory just picks up the cordless phone, extends the antenna, and starts talking. Doesn't press a button or anything. I was going to give her the benefit of the doubt and say that perhaps it's one of those phones that you can hang up by laying it face down on a flat surface - but you can clearly see that when she picks the phone up, it's on its side.

From Elad Benari:

- McKay told Cliff that he'll tell the police he's a murderer. Then he told him that he has a copy of the confession that Cliff made to the POLICE...So if the police already knows Cliff's a murderer, why does McKay have to tell them? I understand your nit, but it's actually McKay who's the idiot here. Cliff confessed to the District Attorney, not the police.

- Has Cliff turned into such an idiot that he can't tell a 4 from a 5? Jeez, a little dumb...and how would Liz know that he did break the door of 417? Doesn't seem like something that the hotel would want to let all their guests know. That's not even the correct excuse. Liz is in room 2402, for gosh sakes! What the hell gives here?

- Why would Liz leave the file she has on McKay WITH McKay? I guess she has another copy, but it's pretty stupid to leave it with him. McKay could easily change something.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- How exactly did Cliff break that door down? It's Cliff (not Bobby...or Ray). Give me a break. Gives me an idea for a tote...

- Did I miss something...I didn't think it was summer for the boys? And yet, there's Christopher and John Ross on (seemingly) week-long cattle run, and then Christopher going to the auction. Geez Bob, I know you want to be the world's greatest dad, but sometimes, they've just got to go to school. I agree. Something is definitely wrong here.

- Time for some DALLAS math...as near as I can tell "turning down a position" DOES NOT EQUAL "resigning". Resigning would suggest actual attainment of the position, whereas "turning down" would suggest that the post had merely been offered. To add to the confusion, McKay says "resign", but the papers say "turn down". I guess they're playing hard and fast with words because while Cliff was appointed, he didn't actually assume the office. It's kind of like the difference between annulment and divorce of an unconsummated marriage. Technically, there would be no difference.

- In a surprise move, J.R. screws up (yet again). I guess you can only say "I don't....ummmm.....know where.... ummmmmm.... James is" so many times. Why the hell didn't he just say that he HAD talked to him and that he would be back in X number days??? (make X a big number if need be, just say something). Weak. Totally agreed. On the one hand, though, I'm glad they're pushing Debra Lynn to be a smart girl. I dare say that she the one smart decision James did in his life.

AHN Alett's corner:

- Liz's hotel security really stinks. First, no peephole, but Debra's room at the Singletree does have one. And now a wimp like Cliff can break open her door so easily.

- Speaking of Liz, it looks like she's packing.  It's about time.  I'm surprised she didn't turn over all that background info. on McKay when he was first arrested.   It seems a bit like obstruction of justice.  If she knew all that, wouldn't the DA want and need such info? I would assume that it's information that Liz has because she was an undercover government agent. If she were to take it to the DA, the source would have to be made public or else the evidence would likely be inadmissible.

- As per JR's request, Sly orders two dozen RED roses for Michelle, but when Michelle comes down the staircase, she's holding a WHITE rose.  I also don't see why she tosses the rose over the banister on her way upstairs.  She is glancing at JR.   Is this supposed to indicate she knows the truth? I don't know. Good point about the rose though.

- Our final trail drive scene. Thank you.  They're getting ready for dinner, but it looks like it's only mid-afternoon. Actually, this is the way it should be. It should be August or thereabouts, and so the sun doesn't set until 8 PM or so. Because night has come early in some of the previous episodes, I see what you mean.

AHN Mike's corner:

- Debra Lynn has been dipping into the Sue Ellen shoulder pads collection. James looks dorky in a cowboy hat, which is pretty difficult for a good-looking guy like him.

- Here's a suggestion, Cliff, for making your condo more marketable: get rid of the lamp that looks like a condom and those two things that look like white bee hives on the sides of your kitchen doorway. Also, how cheap is this guy? He's a multi-millionaire and he can't buy a house in Georgetown until he sells his condo in Dallas? Very true about that last point.

- Liz is wonderful as she sticks it to McKay and lets Cliff resign anyhow. Boffo! However she is cadaver-like white in the scene with McKay. Must be a sign of "fading" as she boards the Dallas Titanic.

- Nobody caught the fact that JR said Teresa would keep dinner warm for James and Michelle. Is he so out of it, he doesn't realize Teresa doesn't work there anymore? No wonder he bungles the Debra Lynn thing so badly. I suppose he thinks that new manservant is still Raoul. And speaking of servants, couldn't McKay find a maid that speaks understandable English? The new manservant IS Raoul - at least that's what he's credited as. I don't know what gives with the servants lately.

- Not only is John Ross back but he appears to have been dipping into James' motorcycle hair grease. At breakfast he has a new slicked back, oily hairstyle which exposes the fact that he hasn't quite grown into his ears yet. It's interesting how Omri got spruced up for his MASSIVE push over the next few days.

AHN Pamela's corner:

- The establishing shot of Southfork at the beginning was definitely recycled from a very early episode. The film looked completely different. Budget cut, budget cut, snip, snip, snip.....

- Michelle 'removes Derek from his post'?  Excuse me, what's the difference between that and FIRING...nothing.  Then she told him that he has done what she hired him to do.  I can't believe she would've actually been stupid enough to tell him this in the first place.  Also, it seemed from his reaction that he may very well have been QUALIFIED for the position, which is more than I can say about.....oh.....Jackie perhaps.   Didn't Michelle even bother to review his resume?  If not, and he gave her one and believes he was hired based on his skills, my advice to Derek is to slap a huge reverse sex discrimination suit on Michelle and teach her a lesson! If Derrick were to do that, he'd be completely unhireable...except perhaps by Marilee Stone.

- Cliff broke down Liz's door?  I'm sorry, I just can't believe this.  He's never seemed that strong.  I mean he's never threatened to 'tear someone apart' like Bobby. Also, I've never broken down a door but I would imagine it would be quite painful, especially for someone like Cliff.  But he doesn't even wince. Must be the adrenaline rush.

- When J.R. goes out to see Bobby and the rest of the 'boys' on the range, why do he and Bobby shake hands?  I don't have brothers, but my husband does and I've NEVER seen them greet each other this way.  This is strange, especially since they LIVE together. Very true.

- This time-of-the-year thing is all very confusing. McKay's calendar a week or two ago clearly showed that it was June.  This is what, maybe August?  Unless it's the end of August, why are the boys in school, they should be on summer break. If not, why is Christopher at a cattle auction with Bobby after just spending several days on a cattle drive?  Bobby always claims he loves Christopher and wants what's best for him. Yet he seems to have little regard for his education. Bobby really needs to put a little more distance between Chris and ranching thing and emphasize school. He wouldn't want him to end up like Ray.  Without the proper education, Chris may think that shagging teenage chicks in the barn when you're thirtysomething is OK. I have never really been impressed by Bobby's parenting skills. Inexplicable to me.

- The Ray Krebbs wardrobe is multiplying. Bobby, Chris and Bobby's 'friend' (what purpose did he serve?) were all dressed exactly alike. Jeans, work shirt, jean jacket and a white cowboy hat.  I realize it was a cattle auction, but still, they could've varied the color of hat or at least had one of them not wear a jacket or something.

- James is sounding more and more like an idiot every day.  He had this silly little laugh during most of his lines in this episode.  My husband noticed this too.   We counted about five or six laughs.  Too late now, but maybe we should've had the Stupid James Beaumont Laugh Meter to go along with the Stupid Jack Ewing Laugh Meter. Yeah, it would have been a good idea in retrospect. Oh well, we'll just have to catch him next time.

- When Jory picks up the phone she immediately says "Hello Mother".  How does she know who it is there was no caller I.D. in 1991. Hillary may have been saying "Jory? Jory?" Something like that. It is weird.

-  I'm not a parent, so I may be a little over protective here.  When Debra Lynn found out that James has been in town all along and she decided to go to Southfork she called the hotel concierge (I assume) and asked if they had a babysitting service.   This is all well and good.  I don't know if I'd feel comfortable leaving my child with a perfect stranger in a strange city.  She doesn't even question anything about the service that we see anyway.  I know that she is staying in a reputable (Singletree? snicker) hotel, but I think I would be a little more cautious before I would leave my child in their care. Again, I'm not a parent, this could be common practice and I may just be over protective. That's another one I should hit Val up for.

- The bald Raoul guy was really on the ball!  He makes an attempt at providing some type of 'security' (snicker) when he tells Debra Lynn that she can't just barge in.   Of course, this is the same guy who let her in during episode 350 because she said she wanted to see James.  At that time James was on the cattle drive and Raoul had no idea when he would be back but let her in anyway.  Now that he knows her, he won't let her in. Is it because she's yelling like a maniac or has J.R. instructed him not to let her in?  What's up with this? Outstanding! I can't believe I missed that. Actually, on second thought, it MIGHT be plausible because JR might have given him instructions not to let her in, for fear she would blow it. But if JR was this concerned, he should have tried much harder to keep up the charade.

-  I was also disappointed in Michelle.  I can't believe that all it took was one hot night with James to change her mind about making him an unconditional partner in Ewing Oil.  I know Michelle's business sense has left a lot to be desired in the past, (remember the single's bar?) but one would think she would be able to see through this little plot. J.R. has NEVER been nice to her, and suddenly he's all for her marriage to James to work out and hmmmm.....she OWNS Ewing Oil.  Wake up blondie!  In her case, love really is blind......and stupid! True enough. Purely a gimmick to create heat for the upcoming triangle, but it's a good point.


# 352 Those Darned Ewings

Bonehead dialogue of the day: [courtesy of Alett]

> James: "I'll drive.  That way we'll all be more comfortable."
(What difference does it make?  Debra Lynn already said she'd sit in the back, so what  if Michelle drives. James will still be in the front.)

Angelica Award: Liz's twenty-pound earrings. I'm amazed this woman can walk upright. Jory's IUD earrings [suggested by Mike] are also worthy.

- Okay, here's the obvious one. Jimmy is a different baby altogether! He's grown into a normal-looking two year old - complete with larynx and vocabulary!

- Another continuity blip. When JR visits Debra Lynn in her new Southfork room, he's giving Jimmy a big hug. The child's left hand is on his shoulder. Suddenly there's a cut and the hand has abruptly moved to JR's tie.

- Not a nit, just an observation: James has a "Rock" eyebrow when talking to Michelle in their room.

- I think it's pretty well agreed that James is not the sharpest knife in the drawer. But if I were him, I'd be a little bit concerned as to why Cliff keeps coming into Ewing Oil and asking for Michelle. That's kind of creepy if you don't know what's happening, right?

From Elad Benari:

- The co-executive producer has been billed as "Ken Horton" up until now, yet today he was credited as "Kenneth Horton"... what gives? I've noticed that John Rettino, who used to be credited as "John Ernest Rettino", has also changed his mind.

- That comment John Ross made sounded pretty bad. He told Christopher that James can be married to Debra Lynn and Michelle at the same time because "he's a Ewing". John Ross is pretty disillusioned if he thinks that only people from non rich and famous families can marry two people at the same time....I guess that's the kind of stuff J.R.'s been feeding into his head. Well, that's not quite what he said. What Christopher asked how James could have a child with one woman and be married to another. That doesn't excuse the attitude, though.

- And speaking of John Ross and Christopher: Don't they ever eat breakfast? Debra Lynn came in with that huge omelette, and before she had a chance to serve them, Christopher said that they had to go to school. Those kids must starve by lunchtime! It's no wonder they're so thin, I guess.

- It took the bartender two seconds to mix J.R. his usual, but it took him the entire conversation between J.R. and Debra Lynn to get J.R. a simple soda....strange.

AHN Alett's corner:

- Yesterday, when Debra Lynn bursts in at Southfork, Michelle is wearing a little black dress.  Today she's suddenly wearing a long jacket over it. Yeah, Pam mentioned this after seeing this in the preview yesterday. Good one.

- How lame that Debra Lynn named the kid James Jr.  This continual "JR" thing is getting old.  I hope Cally's baby is a girl and she names her Harper. Well, we'll find out soon enough.

- This new baby is better than the first one.  What struck me is he looks like he could be Michelle's kid!  Heck, they even have the same hairstylist. Definitely.

- Poor John Ross. It's actually rather sweet when he offers to hold the baby and he says,"I'm pretty good with a bottle."  Nice try, but he has zero experience with any kids. So far as we know.

- It's nice James is back to being a decent guy by deciding to move out of his room to be a good example to the kids.  It is odd though that he grabs shirts, suits, and towels, but no underwear, socks or shoes. I guess he'll be back for those. But it's kind of surprising in my books, especially the part about doing it for moral reasons.

- In true soap opera style, Jory's life is falling apart, but her hair looks better than it ever has. Yes! She's got a weird looking face or else she would be a very lovely young woman.

- As Dallas draws to a close, the writers seem to have the perfect set up for "Dallas - The Next Generation".  John Ross and Christopher are little carbon copies of their dads, the babysitter has already clued us that James Jr. has the devil in him, and Cally's baby is waiting in the wings.  Yeah, I'd say within three years we should see Omri, Joshua, Chuckie and "?" battling it out.  This could be a great Fox show! Yes...but there can be no Dallas without JR. That's the shame of it.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- I know that James said he would be out with Jimmy during the day, but would it have killed Michelle to try and call Southfork on the off chance that James would be around? Worth a shot... I think it's a one-upmanship thing.

- Michelle's request to adopt Jimmy was a little too obvious an attempt to parallel the Pam-Bobby-Jenna situation of a few seasons past... Yes it was. And it was just as pathetic as Pam's.

- A historic day for DALLAS: repercussions for miserable attendance at school. John Ross actually receives a bad progress report. Wow! I guess that "don't you know who I am" bit doesn't ALWAYS work. It took Braddock Elementary thirteen years to clue in. Unbelievable.

- That final conversation between J.R. and James was just TOO frantic. It felt as though at least two (or maybe even three) lead-up scenes were missing. Very strange. Agreed. It's pretty sad that Cliff waltzing into Ewing Oil for no reason was the lone impetus for this thing. Pathetic, actually.

AHN Val's corner:

- Jimmy called James "Daddy" at first sight. I don't believe this for one minute. Commonly, children Jimmy's age are too shy to talk to strangers, much less call them DADDY!!! Quite right. At first I was thinking that Debra Lynn might have told Jimmy that "Daddy" was coming, but I don't see how that's possible, since Debra Lynn had no idea what was going to happen at Southfork.

- Pam's armoire from her Barnes-Wentworth days strikes again!!! This time it's sporting shirred curtains on the backs of the doors, and is being used to store baby clothes. I have never noticed it, for some reason.

- The scene with Jimmy asking to play on the swing was clearly dubbed. That child's lips didn't move once. Plus, they got the park, let Jimmy swing for all of 30 seconds, and they left. Peacefully, no less. Any normal child would have thrown a monster fit. I've been pointing out how quiet that child is for two days now. It's impossible for an only child to be this quiet. I should know...I was one until my sister was born.

- JR's doctor is in the same office building as Dr. Elby. All that's missing is Sue Ellen's yellow adhesive wooden station wagon parked out front.

- The Oil Baron's Club doesn't have decaffinated iced tea!!?!? Come on!!! EVERY restaurant has decaf iced tea. Except the OBC. Budget cuts, I guess.

- The scene with JR feeding Jimmy was great for a crack-up. Every gag was funnier than the last! From JR's church-steeple finger play to the "no...Papa"/"no...poo-poo" exchange. I laughed my a$$ off. However, when Jimmy threw the loaded spoon at JR, I was surprised he didn't throw the whole plate. I think he should have but Larry nixed that idea.

- I really like Debra Lynn. Especially her scene in the SF living room when she held her own against Michelle. She and I are alot alike. Right down to the red hair, and fight for what's best for her child. Her only fault was not pushing Michelle in the pool when she tried to acquire her son. Other than that, Debra Lynn is my new favorite female character. In fact, she should forget James. I'll bet Jack's still single. :-))) I agree with you on all counts. I like her a lot too.

AHN Mike's corner:

- What's up with John Ross and James and their hairstyles? Two days ago they were the slicked back grease brothers. Yesterday, John Ross was back to the dry, over the forehead look and James was the same. John Ross goes to school in coverall jeans? He was wearing a pair yesterday too.

- Not only could Shelly have called James at Southfork, she could have also called in the Ewing lawyer who negotiated the contract. This scene was lame. Plus, I was totally insulted when she said she specialized in PR and offered to take them to lunch. Having been in PR for 15 years now, nothing rankles me me than equating what I do to simply entertaining people. I spend 0% of my time doing that.

- I had to laugh when Debra Lynn bragged on how she survived with the help from her folks. The biggest help her folks could have given her would have been some advice on birth control and maybe she wouldn't be in the situation she's in.

AHN Pamela's corner:

- WOW!  Somebody got that nursery up in record time! This is definitely NOT the same nursery that John Ross and Christopher stayed in, it's not even the same FURNITURE.   There haven't been any other babies at Southfork since John Ross and Christopher, so I can't believe that they would just keep a nursery on hand in case they needed it.   This is strange. Good point. And today, I wondered what happened to it. Why were Debra Lynn and Jimmy not playing in the wonderful nursery?

- Exactly how long was Jory planning to stay in Dallas anyway?  It seemed in the beginning like she came to talk to Bobby and perhaps leaving, at least within a day or so.   Yet, she seemed to pack a lot of clothes.  Specifically, jackets. (Again, why were she (leather?) and Bobby (that damn Ray Krebbs denim jacket again!) wearing jackets during the day in what must be August/September in Dallas.  This is so ridiculous, it's like beating a dead horse.)  I am assuming she flew to Dallas.  I know when I am flying somewhere I try to travel light.  I usually take ONE jacket, if any, but Jory had two that we know of. Also, she was upset and I would assume that she was also in a hurry and can't imagine that she took the time to select such an extensive wardrobe. She must have read the script, I guess. Good one.

- Jory's visit brings up yet another point.  It has been established that Southfork seems to have an unlimited supply of bedrooms when needed.  Remember 84, 85 & 86 when it seemed like most of the cast were living there and had their own rooms?  So, why does Bobby take Jory to a hotel instead of having her stay at the ranch?  There's less people than were there in the above mentioned years and yet they can't find a bedroom for one more. Back then, Jason and I did the math and confirmed that there must have been at least 10 rooms at Southfork to accomodate everyone. Certainly there's plenty of room right now, but I think Bobby bringing Jory to Southfork would be really complicated and it's wild enough there already. That much is true.

- Bobby and Jory went horseback riding.  One, she seemed a little overdressed in her leather jacket outfit, just my opinion.  Also, I didn't notice a hat in Bobby's hand during their talk, but when they were riding he was wearing one, the same one from the cattle auction I might add.  They looked like they were walking away, so what did Bobby do, suddenly say  "Gosh, Jory, ya know, I just can't go riding without a hat, it just wouldn't be right" and run upstairs and get one? Perhaps he keeps it in the stables.

- Kudos to James for his moral code concerning the kids.  Obviously after Michelle's little towel dropping scene the other day, we know she has no regard for the children but thank God someone does. I'm impressed that James told her that he didn't feel right about sleeping with her either until the whole marriage situation was settled.  John Ross' "Are you going to stay in the same room?' comment must have really hit home with him. I guess you're right. It's kind of hypocritical for him to say it's for moral reasons though - I think it's just a great excuse for him to get out of sleeping with Michelle.

- John Ross got a progress report in English?  Big surprise since he never seems to be in SCHOOL....oh wait, that would be Christopher, no wonder he has trouble in math.   Also, if in fact John Ross were doing so poorly why would J.R. allow him to take several days off from school to go on a cattle drive? The only thing I can figure is that J.R. was unaware of John Ross' problems in school before the cattle drive and the progress report came after the cattle drive. This is still no excuse. J.R. should be aware of what and how his son is doing in school. 

-  John Ross, John Ross, John Ross, I really like you, I really do, but sometimes you make it so hard! Ever since Jimmy has been around you have turned in to this jealous, whiney little boy that I just can't stand!  I realize this is an attempt to set up the plot for what is to come, but still, I'm not impressed. J.R. is right, GROW UP and become the smart ass I know you can be. I totally agree with you. It's totally lame that Omri finally gets a push and then ends up in this lame gimmick. I'd expect this for Clayton, but not him.

- James and J.R. have their discussion about legacies and sons in the last scene.  It seemed to me that he and James both assumed that Cally's child would be a BOY!!  Why?   I checked the summary on this to verify it and the it also states that  they refer to Cally's child as a boy.  The sex of Cally's baby was never determined before she left Dallas.  Is it a fact that the strong Ewing men (Jock, J.R., Bobby and James) only possess the Y chromosome, and that the X chromosome is reserved for the wussie Ewing men like Gary and Ray? I believe that this would be a good explanation, but you're right. I guess they just assumed or read the script.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Here's an interesting scoop on the James/Debra Lynn/ Michelle saga.  If James and DL were to get a divorce now, would his marriage to Michelle still be valid. Technically he would still be a bigamist. He would have to be charged with bigamy, I think. It's interesting.

- Why did Debra Lynn go in James' car?  How did she get to Southfork to spill the beans?  I assumed that she drove to Dallas and that she drove from the hotel. I don't think so. JR probably arranged for her to get to the hotel, but she probably cabbed it to Southfork.


# 353 Farewell, My Lovely

Bonehead dialogue of the day: [courtesy of Alett]

>Clayton to his driver: "Just leave YOUR bags here. I'll have someone BESIDE bring them in." 
(Clayton, check your Polygrip. Mumbling is best left to Marlon Brando)

[courtesy of Jason]:

> PI to JR  "(Callie) uses  (The gallery) to display and sell her paintings."
Imagine that!  What a novel concept!

Angelica Award: Michelle's (recycled) backless t-shirt dress. Nominated by Val.

- When James is talking to JR at the beginning of this episode, he calls him "JR". Lately, he's been calling him "Dad". What gives?

- As Pam pointed out yesterday, someone at Southfork turned one of the rooms into a nursery for Debra Lynn and Jimmy. So why can't Jimmy play there instead of the livingroom, where things are likely to get broken?

- Interesting how Cliff manages to waltz into Southfork unannounced and undeterred. Where is that lightning-quick Raoul to get in his way?

From Elad Benari:

- Kenneth Horton is back to Ken Horton today.

- Cliff actually thought Michelle would choose HIM over James? How much of an idiot has he become? If you're like Cliff, you gotta believe. And on Monday, you'll see the real reason.

- Clayton says that the last he heard, James was married to Michelle. Who's been giving him updates about what's happening? J.R.? I doubt it...and Bobby was too busy with his revenge against Hillary to know what was going on. So who's talking to Clayton? Perhaps he's reading the newspaper. Otherwise they run the risk of letting Ellie know about current events, which we all know she's too fragile to handle.

- Debra Lynn messed up her line...She says to Jimmy: "Look what your UNCLE J.R. got you, and then she quickly corrects herself and says: "Grandpa J.R." Surprised they didn't do another take.

- It looks like even that Raoul guy has decided to quit along with the rest of the maids if Christopher has to answer the phone at Southfork....wait a minute, back up......Theresa is still at Southfork, at least that's what Debra Lynn told James...I guess Theresa just isn't on phone duty. I can't explain this whole maid situation any more. It's ridiculous.

AHN Val's corner:

- Jimmy sat still in a non-moving stroller. I can't believe this. Most children his age--including my own--would be struggling to get out, if that buggy didn't keep moving.

- Jory is staying in the same hotel that Liz did recently (the exterior shots are the same). Yet the doors to their respective rooms are very different. Liz's was covered with grey polka-dot wallpaper, and Jory's is the classier 3-paneled variety. I couldn't tell if the inside decor was the same. Jory's room was always covered in balloons. Anyway, it's been my experience that all the room doors would be the same in any given hotel. They certainly should be. The penthouse [where Liz presumably was] might be different; but Room 417 which we saw Liz in yesterday was not, so this is nitworthy.

- When Cally was carrying the baby's car carrier, the little back flap was left open. I used the very same model car seat on my boys, and that flap goes into a little storage bin. Commonly, this bin is used for holding such necessities as pacifiers, toys, booties, etc. I guess it's impossible that Cally would use hers, but it's unlikely. With that little door open, stuff is gonna fall out. Also, that carrier was installed in the car REAL fast. Too fast for my liking. Mere seconds passed between the time they walked to the car and when they drove off. Obviously, they didn't buckle the seat belt properly. Like I said, I owned that same carrier, and it takes a good minute or two to install it properly. I'm sure it does. We weren't so safety-conscious.

- And then, Cally puts the baby's car seat in the front passenger's seat and herself sits in the back. WHAT?!?! Ok, this was obviously done so she could look at and play with the baby in transit. However, the front seat is the least safe place in the car to use a rear-facing car seat. I know car seat safety was not an issue in 1991, but I just cringe to see this practice being carried out. I just hope that Audi doesn't have a passenger's side air bag.

- JR's new company is called "Ewing and Ewing". So, who's the other Ewing? It was supposed to be Bobby, but I guess he left it open.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Susan Lucci is now  "starring" on Dallas as opposed to "also starring" Contracts.

- JR has wine with dinner.  I would have thought that he would have his "one" drink earlier in the day. Good point. He must be cheating.

- JR gets 25% of the voting shares to Westar and complains that his mother gave Bobby the ranch? What a whiner! True enough. I didn't understand this either. Obviously he'd like to own it, but this is weird.

- I got a good kick out of JR telling John Ross about how Jock "handled" the Lucy problem by having "Ranchman Krebbs" take her to the hayloft - oops, I mean school. I agree. This is a nit. Jock TRIED to handle the situation but it was Pam who taught Lucy the lesson.

AHN Alett's corner:

- I guess the budget explains leaving in the the two blips in the scene with Deborah Lynn and Jimmy before Cliff comes in.  When she's with Jimmy and he knocks on the play house, she says, "Who is it?" and he replies, "Chuckie" not Jimmy.  Then she says "Uncle JR.  I meant Grandpa JR." Yes, it does. Someone pointed out the "uncle" thing, but I missed "Chuckie", which is of course the little kid's real name.

- When Clayton arrives and James comes out, he has his usual hair problems. With every shot change it's curl, no curl.  It happens 5 times. How'd I miss that? But you're quite right. In the close-up, you see the curl.

- Michelle starts the day off with a red dress, then inexplicably confronts JR in his office wearing a black and white one.  When she's in jeans with Cliff, she verifies it was the same day. She must keep a bunch of outfits at the office, I guess.

- This is the first time I can remember Michelle recycling a dress.  She's wearing the black one with pearls left over from Leanne's last appearance.

- Geez now McKay gets to mope over a photograph no one has seen before.  This one looks like it's from the time he and Rose were alone, and he asks her to sleep with Cliff, so who would have taken it?  Probably that mysterious Japanese tourist who took those of Michelle and James! I think so. Inagaki is still around...

AHN Kyle's corner:

- Nice cabbage by McKay today..."I thought you'd like to buy this ranch. It used to be a part of Southfork, you know". Gee, Mack, somehow I think that Clayton might remember that...what with the Range War and all. Good one.

- A very creepy parallel between truant Lucy and truant John Ross. Let's just hope there's never a John Ross with the ranch hand in the hay loft scene. Yuck... But there's no Pamela to whip John Ross into shape...unless Michelle wants to do it. Now THAT might be a rather interesting coming-of-age experience for John Ross.

- Ah, nothing beats a rousing game of musical fonts on DALLAS. Today, the Palm Beach by-line is done in white. What happened to the traditional DALLAS yellow? A sad day...

AHN Mike's corner:

- Sometimes Bobby just amazes me the way he behaves with women. By now he should have figured out that every woman he ever meets is going to throw herself at him. So why does he act surprised when after spending what appears to be his every waking moment for a week with Jory that she kisses him? Duhhhhh. What else is she supposed to think? He did the same thing with Amy Stock a few seasons back.

AHN Pam's corner:

-  Bobby bought Jory all those silly balloons and told her that lame pep talk story about his football coach. Then Jory turned around and bought Bobby some stupid balloons.  What did she do with the ones he gave her? Throw them out? This is not only wasteful, but I would think these would be special to her so why would she do this? If I were Bobby, I'd also be a little hurt that she got rid of them.....of course he is as gimpy as she is at this point. I wonder whether he even noticed. Gimp is the word of the day here.

-  Is it my imagination or was there a doorbell on the play house?  I thought I heard one.  If so, nice play house!

- WOW!!  Cally gave birth to that child quickly! Although it is not clear exactly how much time has passed, it still seems a bit rushed for that baby to have been born. As we all know, McKay's calendar showed that it was June.  The way I figure it, it now must be August/Septemenber.  OK, Cally & J.R. split up a while ago, right after Bobby & April's wedding.  I'm guessing by the time frame of events that was possibly late April or May and Cally had just found out that she was pregnant, perhaps 6-8 weeks or so.  My guess is she conceived sometime in late February or March. When she left it was supposedly around June so she would've been about 3-4 months along.  She was definitely NOT showing at that point.  If it is in fact August/Septemeber, it would be IMPOSSIBLE to have a child this soon unless it was premature.  I doubt that, this child looked quite healthy and a decent size, definitely NOT even a new born child born at full term.  Also, Cally couldn't have given birth very long ago, but she sure snapped back in to shape quite nicely, she even managed to find a new boyfriend along the way! Well, the "snapping back into shape" is quite typical of Ewing wives. Except Jenna, I guess.

- Clayton and Ellie decide to give ownership of Southfork to Bobby, this is fine, Bobby is really the only one who would care about Southfork anyway.  When and where did they have these papers drawn up?  Did Harve have them shipped overseas for Ellie's signature and then Clayton brought them back with him?  I can't believe that Ellie wouldn't even come back to sign these papers and see her family.  Clayton mentioned all the fighting and backstabbing that goes on around there, this is true.  But this is not the same woman who stated that they (the Ewings) ALWAYS stick together.  She has simply turned her back on her entire family, including her grandchildren.   Clayton also said that Ellie isn't sure she'll ever return to Southfork. This was not only her birthplace and heritage, it's also a place that she vowed on several occasions never to leave.  This is all so un-Ellie-like and very disappointing. I completely agree on all counts. As far as signatures go, that's a good point. Perhaps Ellie authorized it somehow, but it seems like this would really need a physical signature. Fedex must make a lot of money off these guys.

- When James went to J.R.'s office and James told him that he had decided to choose Debra Lynn and Jimmy over Michelle, he and J.R. shook hands.  What is up with all of this formality lately? I didn't notice. Thanks for pointing it out.

- This is not a nit, just an observation.  Kudos to Sly for questioning James when he arrived as to whether or not he had an appointment.  Granted, he's J.R.'s son and would probably not need an appointment, but he didn't just barge in as is often the case. Boy, I was paying attention...NOT!


# 354 Some leave, Some get carried out

Bonehead dialogue of the day: [courtesy of Alett]

> A drunk Michelle: "He dumped me. He wants little Miss Priss and the damned kid."
> Cliff's response: "You talking about James?"

Angelica Award: Bobby's powder blue and white argyle tennis sweater (it was under his white jacket). Nominated by Val.

- I find it very interesting that Michelle's hair is perfect when she wakes up at Cliff's - both times. Something tells me that her hairstyle is not exactly low-maintenance.

- Cliff tells Michelle she should get someone to send over her things until she "finds a place". Wait a minute...she did! She bought Carter's ranch, remember? At this point, Michelle has woken up and appears to be quite lucid, so she might have wanted to point this out.

- It's interesting how the writers seem to be going out of their way not to mention anything specific about where Debra Lynn is from. What would be the harm? Especially since it was mentioned last season that James spent some time at the Wharton School of Business, which is in the Philadelphia area. Would it be terrible to insinuate that Debbie's from Camden, West Philly, or King of Prussia? [Yes, that city does exist. Look it up.] The reason I mention this is because James tells JR, rather strainedly, that they're going back to "where [she] comes from." No one talks like this. Ordinarily, he should say they're going to Philly or Podunk or whatever.

- When Michelle wakes up after her "wedding night", she stares at her left hand, as if admiring a ring that wasn't there before. Why? When she's talking to Cliff the morning before, her ring is clearly visible on her left hand. I haven't been paying attention, so I'm not sure whether it's Michelle's ring [in which case it would have appeared after she married James] or Kim Foster's real-life ring.

- And of course, it should be stated for the record that Cliff did the gentlemanly [wimpy?] thing by not taking advantage of Michelle's stupor. Cliff, on behalf of desperate guys like me all over the world: you are truly lame.

From Barry Mandel:

- How about Cliff's remark to Michelle that he was 'paying some lawyers overtime' to draft those contracts. Have the writers forgotten that Cliff IS a lawyer? Why would someone as cheap as Cliff pay anyone overtime to draft an agreement he could have easily drawn up himself? True, Barry, but it's never been established that Cliff is an expert at contract law.

- Cliff tricks Michelle into marrying him? If Michelle is smart enough to run Ewing Oil, she ought to be smart enough to realize that a person who is incapacitated cannot be held to a contract, and that there are ample grounds to annul this marriage. But none of this occurs to her, and her only concern appears to be with shooting JR. Good call.

AHN Jason's corner:

- Clayton's pad of paper and pen seem to mysterious appears as he takes down the number.   I checked the tape a few times and they did not appear to be on the table when he first answers the phone.

- Lucy's room used to be the nursery?  I find that hard to believe since she was living there when both John Ross and Christopher used the nursery. What did she do?   Move back into the nursery in 1988 when she returned and the boys were in normal rooms? No. I think at the time the nursery was "needed", it was one of the rooms upstairs. I believe there are at least five bedrooms upstairs, possibly six. Back when John Ross needed a nursery, only three of those rooms were being used [Jock/Ellie, JR/SE, Pam/Bobby]. So no problem. Even when Christopher was around, the bedroom situation was like this. But now, we have a problem. There's Ellie's room; Bobby; JR; John Ross; Christopher; and James/Michelle. That's six. I guess Debra Lynn and Jimmy stayed in the "other wing", and that's where they plan to put the nursery.

AHN Val's corner:

- Scalini has redecorated. It used to be a much darker, more intimate restaurant with low lighting and dark, cherry woods. Now, it's lighter, brighter, with whitewash woods and pastel fabrics. I didn't even recognize it at first.

- This may not be a nit, but it is from my point of view. James said that Jimmy Jr. "isn't even two yet". Huh? I know all children look, act, and learn different, and at different times. To me, Jimmy looks, talks, and acts quite a bit older than "almost two". He's more like a THREE year old. A great case-in-point: the "Papa/No, poo-poo" conversation the other day could only be carried out by any under-two year old I've ever known. This is just from experience, however. I reviewed the videotape of my son's second birthday party. That boy was bald-headed and could barely talk. (There was lots of jibber-jabber, but not much talking.)  I quite agree. He reminds me of my nephew when he was about two and a half.

- Just an observation: Michelle carries dental floss in her purse. It was laying in the SF driveway along with the other contents of her spilled purse. This just seems odd to me. She really ought to trade in the floss for travel-size mouthwash for her liquor breath. Good call.

AHN Alett's corner:

- I don't get why there is so much smiling in the attorney's office.  When he tells James he'll need the first marriage license and a deposition stating James didn't know the marriage was still in effect, James is actually smirking.  JR even has a bit of a smirk on his face, too.  It looks more like something goofy happened when they were filming it, and it was just left in.

- James and his hair again.  The only time there isn't a continuity problem is if he's only on screen for about 10 seconds.  By the end of his conversation with Michelle in the restaurant, his messy curl has been tamed, but his neat hair becomes messy by the end of his talk with JR about moving out.

- Michelle is very obviously sans bra when she first goes into the office in her royal blue outfit.  Then she suddenly becomes modest, and we see a white bra strap when she's in Cliff's apartment.  Maybe that windup pitch to the computer was a little too jarring, and she decided a sports bra was necessary! Now this is a good example of how much I'm looking forward to seeing the series restart again. I'm usually the VERY FIRST one to pick up on bra/no bra scenes. But I'm just so disinterested in Michelle...

- In an earlier episode, Jory's wilder roommate called Jory and Bobby "Barbie and Ken".  Boy was she right.  First they wear those matching western outfits to go dancing, and then, even though Bobby says they were at the movies, they have those blue and white "tennis" outfits on.  And what is with the wardrobe in general?  Half the cast is wearing white, summery stuff, and then James is in his perennial sweaters.

- About halfway through that reconciliation scene between Jory and Hilary, those Gypsy violins are out of control.  Man, turn down the volume.  And it's good to know that hot cocoa can solve life's worst moments.  Too bad they're in a hotel.  It would have been a perfect moment for a little product placement for Hershey's.

AHN Mike's corner:

- Somebody pointed out Michelle awoke from her passed out on the couch state with her hair perfect but so was her makeup. She looked like she stepped off the pages of Vogue. And speaking of hair, Cliff's spent most of the episode looking like it had been in a windstorm. It is horribly thin at this point and no amount of pouffing and preening is going to hide it.

- Shelly whines she paid a fortune for Ewing Oil but she actually got it at rock bottom. She inherited April's proceeds from selling 5% and turned it into owning the whole company with Lee Ann's generosity.

- Cliff says he always wondered how Shelly was in bed. What a loser! She was practically throwing herself at him when she first arrived in Dallas and moved in with him but he was too concerned with being a loser to pay her any attention.

- And what was that shiny disco mobile on the wall of Shelly's bedroom in Cliff's condo? I swear, one room is uglier than the other in that place. And he wondered why he couldn't get it sold so he could go to Washington?

- Hillary says she's going to turn herself in to "the authorities". I wish I had a dollar for every time I've heard that phrase but exactly who are "the authorities" anyhow?

AHN Pam's corner:

- Michelle stuck James with the check at Scalini's today.  This may be forgivable since James asked her to meet him for dinner. At least she did slam a glass of champagne, she didn't just leave it sitting there.

- I really wish these people would learn to use the peephole.  Cliff didn't use his today either.  He yelled "Who is it?" when Michelle showed up on his doorstep drunk off her ass. Debra Lynn, of all people, has the hang of it.

-  Poor John Ross, I really felt sorry for  him. When J.R. mentioned wanting to leave something to his 'boys' he mentioned James and Jimmy but said nothing about John Ross.  I realize he had no idea John Ross was listening and I'm sure assumed that Bobby of all people would know that he would want to leave something to John Ross. (Plot development) But it's still very un-J.R.-like and sad that he didn't mention the child that he lived and breathed for for so many years. This is kind of a hard one for me to respond to - clearly you're right. I'm trying to think of a way to make sense out of it. I guess I'll just chalk it up to JR taking his son for granted. He's preoccupied with finding a reason to make James and Jimmy stay, but figures that John Ross will be around not matter what.

- I was curious what happened to all of the balloons Bobby gave to Jory, now what happened to all of the balloons Jory gave to Bobby? No comment. I'm just waiting for Jory to get out of here.

- How long was Hillary lurking around the lobby waiting for Jory to come down?  She told Kit that she was going to take the 'first flight out tomorrow'.  I would assume that there would be at least a few morning flights between L.A. and Dallas and that she could have managed to get on one of them.  This flight can't be more than 2-3 hours.   I would also assume that Jory and Bobby were going out in the evening, and she's standing there.  Why didn't she just go up to Jory's room right away, unless Bobby was there the WHOLE time. She didn't wait around until they came back, she waited until the next day.  Yeah, she was
>real anxious to make peace with Jory.  I guess she needed some shopping time to buy all of those virginal white outfits. Another tough one. There COULD be an explanation for this.

- Jory must have taken more time to pack that extensive wardrobe or did some serious shopping!  She had a complete western outfit including cowboy hat and a tennis outfit.  If she did go shopping, I hope she picked up another suitcase, looks like she'll need it. I think Bobby took her shopping. And I'm sure they found some luggage.

- If Bobby and Jory played some good sets of tennis wouldn't they be sweaty?  I am an absolutely horrible tennis player.  However, I do know that if it's done correctly, it's a very active sport, which would cause people to become hot and sweaty.   Wouldn't they have wanted to take a shower before going to dinner, a movie, etc.?   I would think so.  Yet, when they have their little kiss in Jory's doorway they are still in their tennis clothes.  YUCK!  How unromantic! They must use some pretty strong deodorant. Another good point. Surprised Mike didn't pick up on that.

- The Tower Hotel also seems to have crack security. How does Hillary manage to get in to Jory's room?  Pick the lock?  I can't believe that the hotel would let her in because she simply said she was Jory's mother.  I'd have a fit if this happened to me in a hotel.  They must have hired the same security firm used by the Ewings. This firm must really get around. Perhaps she used the Ray technique of claiming to forget her key.

-  Michelle referred to Debra Lynn as a 'country mouse'? I hardly think that's an accurate description of her.  For one thing, although it has never been established where exactly Debra Lynn is from, they say back east, with this I would assume northeast.   She doesn't sound like she's from the south, no drawl there.  Also, Debra Lynn is definitely NOT a mousey person by any means, she ROCKS! I know Michelle is simply saying this as a way of cutting her down, but she really could've done better. Agreed. The description is misplaced.

- Cliff and Michelle got married?  Is that really a legal marriage?  (I don't remember exactly how this works out) James told Michelle at Scalini's that he had seen his lawyer that day to request a dissolving of their marriage.  It seemed that maybe only two days had passed.  Had Michelle even received the papers yet?  They kept referring to James as a bigamist.  I know James and Michelle's marriage was invalid, but if not in some capacity legal, why would such papers need to be filed?  Could it be so there is no mistaking that James had any intention of being married to two women at the same time in case there would be questions later on down the line?  If such papers did need to be filed, was Michelle considered 'single' by law and able to marry someone else so quickly?  This is somewhat confusing, any insight here?
I have to think about this a little bit. What I do know, with some certainty, is that bigamy, while illegal, is not in and of itself a criminal offense - you can't go to jail for it. But if you're a bigamist, one of your spouses can sue you for whatever damages they can prove in a civil suit. As far as I can tell, James is getting his marriage to Michelle dissolved on the basis that he was already married but was unaware that said marriage was still valid, and so the marriage [to Michelle] was invalid. He might claim that he was coerced into marrying Michelle, but that wouldn't really fly. Certainly Debra Lynn would be willing to tell a court what happened, and I think James's story would be very believable. I think James must file the papers in order to show the court that bigamy was not his intent, as you said. Michelle has little recourse here. Even if she contested the dissolution of the marriage, and somehow the court declared in some wacky way that James and Debra Lynn were not somehow married or that James and Michelle WERE married, James could simply get a divorce.
The question of when Michelle becomes "single" is a good one. If she were so inclined, Michelle could claim that she was ALWAYS single, on the grounds that her marriage was invalid due to James' bigamy. I think a court would buy that. The only person who could protest against Michelle's marriage to Cliff, other than Michelle herself, would be James. And that would only happen if he wanted to claim to be married to her. Under the circumstances, that seems highly unlikely.

- Does Southfork just leave all of it's doors unlocked so that anyone can just stroll in whenever they please?  How do Hillary and Jory get in anyway? Yes, and that's how.


# 355 The Decline and Fall of the Ewing Empire

Bonehead dialogue of the day: None.

Angelica Award: Michelle's jail hair and dress.

- When Cliff comes to Ewing Oil, there's a cut to a close-up of Kendall nodding her head in agreement to something Cliff just said. She appears to have a lot of personal space around her when she does this despite the fact that, in the wide angle shots, Cliff is close enough to cop a feel.

- When Cliff's lawyer leaves Ewing Oil, he has no briefcase. Huh? What lawyer goes to visit a client with no briefcase, especially when carrying documents?

- It's absurdly ridiculous that both of the building's elevators arrive at the Ewing Oil offices at once. In a building with two elevators, I would say this is just about impossible, except on the ground floor.

- Sly tells JR she's going to hate having to leave "Ewing Oil". A slip of the tongue, I guess. She hasn't worked for Ewing Oil since Michelle fired her.

- I'm trying to think why Carter McKay [or anyone else, for that matter] would have left a lit lamp in his house once he vacated it. That thing must have been on for weeks! Not to mention that the front chandelier is also lit.

- Rick found this one: JR is standing in his office talking to the two stockholders from Weststar. He pours himself a glass of bottled water, but then he hands one of the guys an empty glass! They showed it twice. Here's this poor schmuck standing there with an empty glass while JR drinks his. Suddenly at the end of the scene, the guy's glass is full, but JR is way across the room. How strange. Yes. This is very common in scenes where drinks are poured, since there are so many takes. It's impossible to get it perfect.

- Eric Newman mentioned: JR sells his 50 percent of Ewing Oil to Cliff, confident that by the end of the week he'll be chairman of Weststar -- so confident that he sells to Cliff BEFORE the Weststar deal is in the bag. That's just not believable. You're right, Eric, but the stockholders made it clear that he had to sell any oil-related assets due to potential conflict of interest. Others have suggested that JR should have sold it to one of his dummy corporations for the time being.

From Elad Benari:

- First, Bobby was upset that Christopher was up so late, but 3 minutes later it's not too late to go out for a burger and fries. I noticed that. I guess things are different since suddenly it's not a school night.

From Matt Becker:

- At the end of today's episode when John Ross hangs up the phone, it doesn't actually go down on the receiver, he just whacks it on the base of the phone. Shouldn't JR be shouting at him or something, since he didn't here the *click* indicating John Ross had hung up? Considering he was mad as hell, I would think he would still be shouting after John Ross had hung up.

AHN Alett's corner:

- Of course, Jackie and Kendall don't have a lot to do, but listening to that radio is awfully convenient.

- Hilary's funeral seems too fast.  Jory has one day to make all the arrangements even getting the body to Odessa.  That cemetery must be very exclusive.   Hilary's grave looks like the only one there. It's not crowded, that's for sure.

- With James gone, the only hair I could focus on is the one rogue hair in JR's left eyebrow.  It just bugged me that it wasn't cut.

- We know that the DA is corrupt, but I don't see how he can get away without charging Michelle.  I know we are just supposed to accept that this is gun-toting Texas and JR is influential, but there's no way this can be construed as justifiable homocide even if they claim she was nuts at the time. Well, I would hazard a guess that in the real world this type of thing happens frequently. Lack of evidence is a real easy excuse.

- Rose is such a loser to go back to McKay.  When she walks in on JR, he seems to be concentrating on his computer screen, but as he turns around, it's obvious the computer isn't turned on. True. I noticed that.

- As to McKay's revenge on JR - he succeeds in keeping JR out of Westar and having him sell Ace Geophysical.  How would he have known about JR's 50% of Ewing Oil? He wouldn't.  JR did that selling on his own.  So this big "sting" is just that he tracked down Dusty and got him to sell.  He could have accomplished that months ago before he was even arrested.  I know the writers need it now, but it just bugged me that it should have happened earlier. He couldn't have known that JR would have to sell Ewing Oil. It's just an added bonus.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- I guess J.R. thought that Michelle was trying to swindle him, but he must not have forgot that SHE bought Ewing Oil from Lee Ann de la Vega at less than 10% of its value (according to J.R.). Still a good deal in my book.

- J.R's "no jury in the world would convict her..." reminded me of a line from the "Who Shot Mr. Burns" episode on The Simpsons (part 2). After they've determined that it was Maggie that shot Burns, Chief Wiggum says "no jury in the world would convict a baby...maybe Texas". Furthermore, the "no jury in the world" bit is ridiculous. Maybe the jury would feel some sympathy, but it doesn't change the fact that SHE KILLED A WOMAN! Weak.

AHN Val's corner:

- Why is Detective Bussey of the DALLAS Police Department investigating Hillary's murder...a murder that happened at Southfork, in BRADDOCK!!! Isn't this out of his jurisdiction??? Excellent point. Totally missed it.

- It's pretty sad that when a boy (Christopher) senses something is wrong just because his dad picks him up from school. Obviously, someone has to die in order for Bobby to pick his kid up at school.

- Why was Chris questioning Bobby about Jory's whereabouts? Did Bobby even introduce them? I thought he was keeping that relationship quiet because of the Michelle/James/Debra Lynn ordeal that was happening at Southfork. Perhaps a scene was cut.

- According to the grandfather clock in the Southfork entry hall, it was 7:15 when JR rolled in. Bobby and Chris were on the way out to take Chris to the airport. It's probably a good hour or longer from SF to the airport. So let's say Bob and Chris get there at 8:30. Chris is taking an international flight, so he has to check in early. This means his flight probably leaves at 9:30 PM!!! Why, oh WHY is Bobby putting Christopher on the REDEYE??? Bobby, tsk...tsk. Of all the lousy ways to save a buck! With a lot of international flights, you don't have much choice. I know for a fact that from Toronto, only three planes a week head to Pakistan, and they're all at 10 PM or so. I suppose you're right in that this shouldn't be too much of a problem for London; but I think it's still conceivable. Bobby probably wants Christopher to have a direct flight rather than a layover in New York, for instance, so maybe his choice is a bit limited.

AHN Jason's corner:

- I think that Dusty was not credited at all.   He used to be an "also starring" star.  Talk about a bad contract! Elad says he saw him in the opening credits.

- It seems that this episode is only a few minutes after #354 but several things seem to be time compressed.
a) John Ross has not only arrived in London but had time to send Christopher a letter to join him.
b) Jory is able to plan her mother's funeral to occur in what must have only been a day or so after her shooting.  (Jory was still at Southfork.)
c) Bobby is able to send Christopher out on a flight the day after he gets the note from John Ross.
Well, it's not certain that Christopher received the note THAT day, is it? Even so, I'm sure there are flights to London all the time.

- If Phyllis will not work for JR, why was she hanging around his office (presumably since she was canned from Ewing Oil in 347)?   Also it seems kinda funny that she is so against working for him when she appeared to be his temp for a while during the end of the Dream Season. Granted, this "really" didn't happen and maybe secretaries weren't in demand as much in 1986 as they must be in 1991 but it is strange. I found it kind of odd myself. During the dream, Phyllis was sort of working with Bobby's stuff - she only talked to JR when necessary.

AHN Mike's corner:

- It took two years and a trip to the pokey but we finally got Michelle in a new hairstyle. Not for long though. Apparently on the way from jail to her new house, she stopped at her hairdresser to get the original style restored. I assume she traded cigarettes for the headband, and then had to trade the headband for underwear or something.

- JR was looking very old and tired, especially after he put on that frumpy sweater in in the final scene. Absolutely. As Kyle would say, that's about a subtle as being hit over the head with a stick.

AHN Pam's corner:

- The famous floating purse makes two appearances today. 1. Rose (who looks very nice for Rose I might add) carried it when she and Carter visited J.R.  2. Michelle carried it when she entered what used to be Carter's home.

- Cliff became the conservator of Michelle's estate. She didn't grant him power of attorney which would be the right to make decisions for her.  I'm not very familiar with laws of this type so I'm not sure what kind of power a conservatorship would hold.   But I would think becoming a conservator would possibly give him similar power over her estate.  Wouldn't Michelle have to sign SOMETHING agreeing to this?  She didn't sign anything for Cliff, unless I missed it or he forged it. If in fact she should have, is he REALLY the conservator?  If he is, how could Michelle sell her half of Ewing Oil to J.R.?  Is this sale legal? If not, how could J.R. then turn around and sell his half of Ewing Oil to Cliff?  If in fact her sale to J.R. and J.R.'s sale to Cliff are invalid then Michelle would still own her 50%.  Again, I am not very familiar with laws of this type. I think you're right that being a conservator is similar to having power of attorney, except that the former is reserved for cases where a person is incapable of making his or her own decisions, as in the case of mental incompetence or something like that. Unlike power of attorney, the person [Michelle] has no choice. Cliff goes to a judge and says that Michelle is either unfit or incapable of managing her own affairs. If the judge agrees, Michelle becomes a non-person. The sale of Ewing Oil to JR makes things complicated. JR can easily say that Michelle was perfectly capable of handling her own affairs when she sold it, or that she did it BECAUSE she knew that she would be incapable of handling them.

- Val mentioned that Bobby was taking Chris to the airport at 7:15.  This brings up another problem with the following scene.  Bobby and J.R. talked for a couple of minutes and then J.R. went upstairs and took his phone call from John Ross.  John Ross told J.R. that Sue Ellen was about to take him RIDING!  In London?   Ummm...if it's 7:15 in Dallas it's about 1:15 in the morning in London!  John Ross should not be out riding at that hour.  He should be asleep. I was sort of wondering about this. I let it go because I didn't notice the time, but now that someone has, this is a definite nit.

- Why did Bobby give Jory his bedroom?  There are plenty of available bedrooms at Southfork especially now that James, Debra Lynn and Michelle have moved out.  Why didn't he just give her one of them? No idea. Probably because it's nicer.

- Not a nit, but a continuity observation.  Sly told J.R. that she was going to call a limo for him.  She did.  When J.R. arrived at Southfork it was not his car but a LIMO that pulled in bringing him home. Yes, I noticed that too. Hard to believe that in all the bitterness JR spewed at her, she still called the limo. What a fine woman.

- When Michelle was arrested all she was wearing was a shirt.  When she arrived at Carter's old house, she was wearing the same outfit she had on when she signed over half of Ewing Oil to Cliff.  So did she leave the police station wearing only that shirt?   She and Cliff were pretty mad at each other so I doubt he would've brought her any clothes (he had way more important things on his mind than fashion and her good hygiene, besides, he's not exactly a considerate person) and I doubt she would've stopped by there to change.  Also, if her 'things' had been sent to Cliff's, (which I think they were because I believe the floating purse was not the same one she had when she shot Hillary) and she did stop by why wouldn't she put on clean clothes rather than the dirty ones? 


# 356 Conundrum

Bonehead dialogue of the day: [courtesy of Alett]

Ray's plaque is from the whole family.  Little Jock says: "What's it say, Dad?"  I would think Ray's wife would have told the kids what's written on it.  They look like they're just waiting for Ray's reaction.   Maybe Ray's too choked up, but when his wife reads it, it looks like Ray's illiterate too.

Angelica Award: Alice Kingdom's wacky outfit. JR's ugly sweater bears mentioning too.

- As Adam delights in pointing out, JR really isn't physically 'there' in any of the alternate timelines. If you taped it, watch the part where we see Gary for the first time picking out a suit from his wardrobe: you can see JR's reflection in the mirror. Why is this so, if he's not really there?

- In Cally's dreary little shack, she's got an awfully nice leather chair! Where in Haileyville would you get such a thing? "Billy Bob's Deluxe Furniture and Shack Stuff?"

AHN Jason's corner:

-  I know the "real life" reason, but I think for continuity sake, it would have been cool to see Pam and Jenna again.  Even if VP didn't want to return, there was always Margaret Micheals. And Jenna-  what is Morgan Fairchild doing these days aside from starring in Old Navy commercials with the freaky glasses woman? Why didn't Bobby marry Jenna in JR's vison? Considering that Bobby and Jenna were childhood sweethearts , JR not being born wouldn't affect their meeting (in my eyes) since Bobby lived at Southfork as a child (in the vision) and JR had little to do with Lucas Wade's life. True enough about that. But I guess Bobby was sort of forced out of Southfork, so it never happened.

- How come Jock and Ellie didn't name their first child JR?  Instead they named a child after Jock's estranged brother. Yes. That is rather odd. Twists of fate, I guess.

-Adam says that Nicholas moved TO New York where he met Sue Ellen. Actually in real life he was originally FROM New York. Yes, but perhaps JR's non-existence had something to do with this....and it's not confirmed that he actually IS Nicholas Pearce or even Joey Lombardi.

- Did anyone catch the joke of Kristin naming herself Lucy Ann? After Lucy Ann Ewing Cooper?

- I liked it how no waiter comes to Bobby and Annie's table during their 5 minute conversation. Reality has never been Dallas's strong point.

- When Bobby goes to see Carter, JR walks into the room and you do see a shadow on the door as he passes it. That also shouldn't happen.

AHN Alett's corner:

- At Jason's party, when the three wives or whatever they are turn around to hear the speaker, Jason's companion is in the wrong place, not with the other women.  As to the "Southfork" development, there's a small mountain range on the right.   I don't remember seeing anything like that on the ranch. Maybe we've never seen that part of the ranch.

- It's nice to see Sue Ellen again, but that hair, yuck.  Rather ironic that since she's an "actress" she didn't end up marrying Don Lockwood.  Good to see Nicholas didn't wear a sweater.  Adam says he moved to New York and met her.  I had the impression that his family "business" was located in New York anyway. Jason said the same thing. It's quite possible that he's not Joey Lombardi in this vision.

- Nepotism right up to the end with Conor Duffy and David Katzman as little Ewings.   If Bobby's family is hard up for cash, his little girl shouln't be wearing Guess jeans.  This park looks a lot like April's Ohio park.  In fact, the whole neighborhood looks too green with grass and trees to be Las Vegas. Guess jeans? Wow. I missed that. And I'll have to ask Jake [who's a local] whether there are parks like this in Las Vegas.

- Even with the ripples in the swimming pool, we can clearly see the ramp Adam walks on.

- Since JR and Adam are in the background of every scene, it's odd they aren't there for Bobby and his screeching wife's argument. Yeah. Good point.

- You would think with the seriousness of the situation, the White House would call the Vice-President on a secure, private line, not his regular house line.

AHN Kyle's corner:

- I think I mentioned this during the marathon, but it seems rather arbitrary when Adam says that Ellie and Jock have three sons. Why is that? If everything else changes because J.R. isn't born, why shouldn't that? By that logic, Bobby would only have one kid (scratch that, two kids) instead of three. Clearly just a contrivance to allow for that Jason fellow. True. I'm not sure what the message is here: that fate is fate, only details change?

- Seems to me that since Adam and J.R aren't actually there, they really shouldn't be able to sit on/lean on/slide down various objects. I remember that someone mentioned J.R. appearing in a mirror (which is a valid point), and this is sort of along the same lines. Think "Ghost". Of course, this point can't really be evaluated, can it now? I mentioned the mirror thing. This is a "UPO" - unavoidable plot oversight. There's no real way to get around it. It's like in all the Star Trek episodes where time gets frozen. If time gets frozen, molecules don't move so everyone should immediately freeze to death.

AHN Pamela's corner:

- The famous floating purse also comes in white. Val carried it when she went to meet with Gary.

- I was under the impression that after the dream season that Knots Landing didn't want to have anything to do whatsoever with Dallas.  So I'm a little surprised that the producers would allow Gary and Val to appear in this episode. Especially since it is somewhat of a dream-like episode.  I don't remember if at this particular time if Val was still on Knots, I believe she went off in the final season only to appear in the last episode so this may account for her appearance if she were no longer under contract to Knots.  If she were still under contract, as was definitely the case with Gary, were the producers of Dallas allowed to approach them on their own and ask them to appear with a separate contract?  Any information on this? An interesting question. I would assume that the only reason the Knots folks allowed this to happen was because it WAS a dream episode - didn't have anything to do with the real happenings. I don't know how the contract situations were resolved.

- Sue Ellen may have been just fine without J.R., but she wasn't very smart.  I know if it were me I'd certainly make sure that the movie was a done deal (any screen tests out of the way, contracts signed, etc.)BEFORE I would agree to leave my current job.  I certainly wouldn't have trusted that slime ball.

- Con artist posing as a call girl posing as a cop or not, why would Kristin wear a full length fur coat in Los Angeles?  It appears to be warm, no one else is wearing anything that would suggest that it is 'cold'. I'm sure she could've looked glamourous some other way.  She has got to be roasting! It's part of the get-up, obviously. I guess it's not so bad to go from an air-conditioned hotel to an air-conditioned limo.

- Cally fed the kids and then the husband walked in and she told him they were just about finished. Ummm...no, actually they're were just starting to eat their dinner.  I know she's trying to avoid any trouble with her abusive husband here.  I'm sure she was quite aware of exactly what time this jerk would be arriving home.  If she really wanted to avoid trouble with him, she really should've fed the kids earlier. Maybe he came home early. That's my guess.

- Bobby's first wife, Annie, mentioned early in the episode (the first time we saw Bobby at the park) that he was behind in his alimony and child support payments.  When she met him for lunch she told him she didn't have a lot of time because she had to get back to work.  HUH? I thought she was receiving ALIMONY which I thought you only received if you weren't WORKING.  So why is she receiving alimony?  Does her job not pay very much and Bobby had to supplement her income?  Either that, or somehow she got a hold of April's lawyer. I would assume the latter. Are you sure you only get alimony if you're not working?

- Cliff better find himself a new aide.  This one answers the phone about as well as Jackie.  When Cliff is in his office, the guy answered the phone "Mr. Barnes' office."  Excuse me, he's the freakin' VICE-PRESIDENT of the UNITED STATES!   His phone should be answered "Vice-President Barnes' office."  I know this was done so J.R. wouldn't know what Cliff's position was right away, but in the real world this would be a very inappropriate way for the aid to answer the VP's phone. Yes, I noticed that as well. I thought I'd let it go.

- Cliff's wife wore a dress to a reception that she'd had a couple of years ago and simply had the neck re-cut? My, my, my, she is thrifty, perfect for the 'real world' Cliff.   She wore this to a reception with (I would assume) people who have seen her in it before. I don't even like to wear the same dress to more than one family wedding if I can avoid it.  Also, it wasn't just a plain black dress where she could get away with it.  This dress was hunter green with a pattern in the bodice and a semi-full skirt. I know most women (myself included) would have at least thought this dress looked somewhat familiar. Interesting point.

- Cliff could have used a little help in this scene too.  When he was informed that the President had a stroke, he said "I'm the President of the United States."   No Cliff, hate to burst your bubble, but you're the ACTING President of the United States.  In order to really become the President you would have to be SWORN IN and this only happens AFTER the President has been officially declared dead.  I don't believe this is the case in the dream-like vision. I thought he said "ACTING". Or maybe I just misheard.

- The bedroom Bobby stayed in at Jason and Bootsie's is one of the Southfork bedrooms. Actually I think it's Bobby's, but I'm not sure. Very tough to tell.

AHN Mike's corner:

- The idea of Bobby coming in and saying "Oh my God." clearly indicates JR shot himself and a finality to Dallas as we know it. The idea that a couple years later we find out JR shot the mirror is weak. Bobby said "Oh my God!" when he sees a broken mirror? I don't think so. Well, maybe he figured that JR did it and then said "Oh my God!" in relief that it didn't happen.

- Was I the only one who noticed that during Bobby's first scene with McKay he was wearing the Wayne Newton standard issue bouffant hairdo? In later scenes he's back to his normal look.

- No wonder Wendell forced McKay out. Doesn't he understand dead men don't pay off debts as he threatens to kill Bobby if he doesn't pay up in 48 hours?

- Bobby's bimbo wife has a nice wardrobe touch as her bra strap is sticking out in back of her top.

- Cliff has his old hairstyle back. And how fitting. The ultimate loser get the ultimate loser's consolation job - vice president!

AHN Val's corner:

- Fake Southfork...curvy pool was the telltale sign here. They really should have used the real deal for the FINAL regular-series episode. Well, they were probably already way over budget.

- The wallpaper in the hall outside Sue Ellen's dressing room is the SAME as the wallpaper in the front entryway of Cliff's condo.

- I find it hard to believe that Jason could have been named Developer of the Year. Southfork Estates was a really bad example of tract housing. Those houses were UGLY. Cheap, yes, but ugly. I live in the tract housing capital of the world, and even the cheap houses look reasonably nice. You folks in the States don't know how good you have it. Come to Toronto for a day and I will show you the most pathetic tract housing in the world.

- Judge Smith wants Kristin's "services" for the afternoon "and tonight". I find it hard to believe that old guy could keep it up for that long. Clearly, Val, you don't think like a man. Even if he can't, he has to believe he can. It's what keeps us going.

- The inside of Bobby's Las Vegas house was actually a reused set. It was Gary and Val's house on Knots Landing. The only difference was the tacky furniture and the double-entry doors were hastily retrofitted for a single-entry door.

- Cliff called his golf partner "Edgar" Could that have been Edgar Randolph? I know it wasn't the same actor, but recasts were a frequent occurance on Dallas. Besides, he too could have..no, WOULD HAVE gone further had JR never been born. It didn't look like him. The only other retread that I saw was Leslie Bevis reappearing as Gary's adversarial lawyer.

- Ray named one of his sons "Andy"...as in the opposite of Amos...AMOS KREBBS, with whom Ray never got along. An inside joke, maybe? I totally missed that. Must be an inside joke.

- JR asked, but it was never answered: Why didn't Bobby ask Gary for the $50,000? Would YOU ask Gary? I can't stand the guy.


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